Please don’t take this wrong, but in my line of work I encounter many folk who might be borderline employable, but many of them have someone - family member, SO - “enabling” their unemployed lifestyle.
I’m far from an expert in Asperger’s, tho I have one child on the very mild end of the autism spectrum. In my job I encounter folk with Asperger’s/autism regularly.
Be aggressive in looking into voc training and education. Something along those lines is available in most states. Follow up aggressively - don’t just wait passively for a response. And have your daughter participate in the application/follow-up. And appeal any denials. Check with any private charities, local organizations, community colleges, etc.
Also, take careful stock of what you are doing with respect to her. I realize you are motivated by love, but I have encountered more than a few instances in which loved ones’ best intentions seem to support - if not encourage - a learned helplessness.
I used to work with a woman whose daughter had cerebral palsy, and encountered a lot of that in the CP community too. Her daughter’s disability was not severe; she had normal intelligence, a FT job, a driver’s license, a boyfriend, etc. but they had met many, many people who did not do those things because they thought they couldn’t.
Actually, what you’re talking about is called “people first” language, which is what people I work with tend to use because we were taught to early on. Most people with disabilities prefer people first language, but there are still a lot, especially those on the autism spectrum, who do not (see page 3 of this conference ad). I’m guessing that the OP’s child is one who doesn’t.
Calling someone “Asperger’s” is just straight-up weird to me. And it has nothing to do with a preference for people first language, but rather because I have a very mild respect for the rules of standard English.
A year ago I never saw this turn of phrase. Now it’s everywhere I go. And it has spread to other disorders, particularly the neurodevelopmental ones. Everytime I read something written by someone announcing “I’m Tourette’s”, I want to throw things and stab people.
I’ll advocate enrolling her in a good martial arts school. I’ve had several Asperger students and they have all responded quite well to the lessons. We see big improvement in focus and social skills especially.
