I eat out a lot, and there’s one particular restaurant where I have a problem with the seats. They are made of [whatever material], and any time I brush against the seat back, my belt rubs against the material and makes the most perfect sound of flatulence.
As a result, I’m constantly moving around, so that the table–and any hapless waitstaff walking nearby–can (maybe) see that “It’s OK. Nope, not what you think, etc.” Not that I’m sure that works, though.
That’s all. Just something pointless to share.