Yep, the chance is very good that if you don’t stop smoking and he continues to, the two of you won’t last.
When I was dating, smoking was a deal-breaker. She could have been the hottest, smartest girl on earth, but if she smoked, there was no way I was going to date her. Because frankly, she would stink.
I grew up in a smoking household: both my mom and dad smoked. When I moved out and went to college, my sense of smell got better and better and now the smell of smoke disgusts me. I’m hypersensitive to it. It’s not just a smoker’s body that stinks from smoking. Their clothes stink, their hair stinks, their house stinks, their car stinks. I got to the point where, if I went to visit my mom, I could walk in the front door, walk through the house, and out the back door… and I could smell it on my clothes just from that little exposure. Whenever I’d go home from visiting, the first thing I’d do is throw all my clothes I took into the washing machine and take a shower.
Then she died from lung cancer and COPD after 2 years of chemo, radiation, and pain.
I just didn’t find this to be an advantage when I quit last. I have (while smoking) I very good sense of smell. When I quit I could smell everything all the time. Most smells aren’t good.
To the OP, now is a great time to try to quit (or at least cut down when he is around). Try to come up with new ways to ‘hang out’ and converse (go for a post-coital walk for example). It is so much easier to quit for both of you if you both do it.
I’m not telling you to quit because it’s good for you, 'cause if you were gonna quit for that you would have already. But when you have a “_____ buddy” (running, quitting smoking, biking to work, whatever) it’s a hell of a lot easier to make a lifestyle change, because you can back each other up.
I’m surprised no one ever points to the smoking side effect that I think would make more people quit – or never start: It makes your skin age really fast.
Here’s a link that’s all sciency. And here’s another that’s easier to read. It was an effect I never really heard about until I was in my 30s and long past having had a cigarette.
I’m firmly convinced that Hollywood actresses would not need nearly as much botox if they were not such a high percentage smokers (at least as far as I’ve heard).
Who wants to be a hacking, smelly person looking 10 years older than his/her real age?
JK A former occasional smoker who married a smoker who thank God quit 12 years ago!
Well, he ran into a bumb and began smoking again and he tried to limit himself to three a day. Then he had a few very stressful days at work and began smoking a lot more. He says that he will quit again once things pass.
As for me, I ordered an electronic cigarette and it broke within 24 hours. But, my docotr did give me a script for Chantix. I’ll try that out once I can afford it.
Yeah, but there is this addiction thing. I’ve mentioned too many times that I was only able to quit when I had surgery, couldn’t walk and spent three days in the hospital with intravenous morphine. I don’t advocate drug abuse, but if you can do it under adult supervision…
What’s the success rate with nicotine replacement? Seven percent? It’s somewhere down in the single-digits IIRC. Everyone I’ve ever known who has successfully quit, including myself, has done it “cold turkey.” It’s a psychological addiction so you just have to psychologically get over it. Nicotine replacement won’t help you with that. In fact it probably hinders you.
What’s the success rate with cold turkey, per attempt? I bet it’s also in the single digits.
Nicotine replacement made it possible for me to quit, but I also really, really love nicotine. I loved it way more than anything else about smoking.
Bodies are different. Personalities are different. People need to try different things and see what works for them–and not give up if one method or another is a miserable experience.
Then meet someone who successfully quit with Chantix (Champix here) and I think you need to talk to John Carter of Mars as well.
Cold turkey never worked for me, even though I really, really wanted it to.
I never actually tried nicotene replacement therapy, and I always listened to people who told me I couldn’t quit unless I did it cold turkey. As it turns out, you don’t have to go cold turkey.
I am probably asking for a smackdown, but I quit smoking in '98. Lasted two and a half years, I picked them up again. I’ve been thinking of quitting again here after eight years of back sliding down the slope. I never got over the cravings. They stink, burn my mouth and fingers. I smoke till I am sick of them, then smoke another. Right now, I have the cough, you know it, the useless hacking that won’t bring up anything, huffing as I breath, a nice case of summer bronchitis brought on by shitty weak lungs, allergy, smoking, and a few weeks of hard stressful work. Even knowing whats coming, having gone through it so many times. I hate the idea of not smoking. I want to want to quit, but I don’t want to quit, yet. My sister, six years younger than me, is just going back to work tomorrow, after her heart attack, at age 35. Here I am, still lighting up.
Yes, I know dudes in NA that say quitting nicotine is harder that heroin. :eek:
You need three things (besides the desire to quit):
Something to take the place of the oral fixation- gum works here, esp Wrigleys Doublemint gum, I have heard. Carrot sticks. My Dad used an old pipe and would suck on it.
Then the nicotine- the nicotine gum or patch sometimes helps here. It’s not for everyone as Cisco pointed out- for some dudes cold turkey works better.
Lastly- the habit. If you always lit up when having a cup of coffee, then switch to tea. If it’s niteclubbing- stay out of them for a year or two. Whatever you associate with lighting up, you have to modify that behavior.
However- youwant to quit and you’re not in denial about your addiction. Those are two critical steps many never take. You’re halfway to quitting, believe it or not.
For some, you might just switch to a less deadly form of smoking, such as cigars or pipes- BUT DON’T INHALE.
That’s a popular meme but it should be pointed out that nicotine is absolutely positively unambiguously not more physically addicting than heroin. IF this meme is true for some people (and I feel pretty :dubious: about it; just because you quit heroin and not cigarettes doesn’t mean cigarettes are harder to quit), I think it’s because cigarettes don’t have the immediate side effects of turning you into a zombie and completely wrecking your life and lives of those around you. The more apparent, immediate damage the addiction is doing, the more compelling reasons you have to quit. This is why it can be easier to kick a 2 pack a day habit than a 1/2 pack a day habit. The guy smoking half a pack a day isn’t spending 80 dollars a week or coughing up brown shit all day.
I, like you, never really had any intention of quitting. I liked to smoke for various reasons: the association with relaxation, the camaraderie with fellow smokers, the act itself. My brother-in-law would razz me about smoking once in a while, and I would always say, “I don’t wanna quit. I like it.” Then one day, I didn’t like it anymore. Coincidentally, a girl at work casually mentioned that she was going to quit, so I promised to join her so we could support each other. That was March 2nd. On September 2nd, I will be a non-smoker for 6 months straight.
I used the patch. It took some getting used to, but I did it. What really helped me was that my husband and his entire family are non-smokers. Since your boyfriend has quit smoking, this could be your golden opportunity to do the same.
