The last week and a half have seen me in D.C. (-4), Alaska (-8), ahead in time across the International Dateline, Ulan Ude, Russia (+9), east to Khabarovsk, Russia (+11), then gain a whole day going back across the Dateline to Alaska (-8), then to Ohio (-4), where I decompress for a few days before ending in D.C.
We’re given ambien for these missions. I never really need the stuff. It kinda makes me nervous. Only taken half a pill once in my life many years ago, where it nicely knocked me out on a ride from California to Maine. I really never thought I’d use the stuff ever again, since usually, when it’s time to go to bed, no matter where I am, I can rack out with the best of them. Sleep has never been a problem for me.
Maybe I’m getting old. Maybe ambien has an expiration date. Since getting back to Alaska (arrived at around midnight), I just couldn’t figure out a good sleep plan. You arrive at midnight, crawl into your rack (if you want) by around 0200, and sleep until… when? You want to wake up at 0900, then try to get more sleep before 2100 (have to be up that day–well-rested-- by around 2100 so you can take off and fly to Ohio). I chose to get a few hours in the brief Alaskan night, then get a few more around 1800 before having to pack up. I’m ok at this point. I know my trusty internal clock is being messed with, but I have faith in its flexibility and my serious, ever-present attraction to any comfortable-looking bed no matter the time of day.
Six hours from Alaska to Ohio. Do I sleep? I can snooze, I figure, but not sleep, since my seat does not even pretend to recline. I elect to read. I have begun the Terry Goodkind Sword of Truth series. Geeky, yes, but they last forever, and managed to keep my interest going without making me tired. I land in Ohio at 1400. Not bad… a quick meal, then off to bed, and up the next day at 0730. This should put me right back on schedule.
Only I can’t sleep. And I’ve just caught the bug that was circulating around our aircraft for the past week. I’m in the beautiful Marriott, comfy bed, quiet, etc. I cannot sleep. Ok, I think, at around 2200. Time to compromise. Half an ambien (with a bad cut, turns out to be 3/4 of the pill). Down the hatch, and I should be home free. I sort of fall into a light sleep some where in there. I toss and turn all night, checking the time, wondering what the ambien is doing. Next time, I’ll take the whole freaking pill.
Drag myself out of bed at 0700, tired as hell but, somehow, not enough to actually sleep. Spend the day working, have dinner, come back to hotel with one thought only: One Full Pill. This time, I’m getting back on schedule, and getting a glorious night of sleep, even if I can’t remember any of it. 2200: feeling a little tired. Maybe I don’t need the pill? Read for ten minutes, then try to sleep. Nada. 2300: give up and drink a glass of water and pop the Pill. I’m a bit worried that I have to be up by 0730, but I’m happy to take that risk–one of my buddies said when he got here Saturday, he took an entire pill and it made him sleep a full 12 hours (according to my basic knowledge of how ambien works, the 12 hours isn’t necessarily related to the ambien, but whatever). I pop the pill and sink my head into my pillow with a smile.
- Nada. I’m tired, but nothing else is happening. How long is it supposed to take to kick in? I turn the light on and read for a half hour, turn the light off and try to go to sleep. I toss and turn but --and this is the weird part-- don’t feel like I’m actually getting any sleep. And yet at some point I check my watch, and it’s 0600. I lean back into my (apparently useless) pillow and think: I could toss and turn for another hour or so, then get up. What good will that do me?
Breakfast starts at 0600. I carefully climb out of bed. My head is wobbly and it feels like someone spiked my diet coke last night. This isn’t the crud I caught, which is slowly getting better–it’s the ambien. I make it to breakfast, have some cereal, grab some coffee, then make it back to my room. I’m still feeling a little woozy and dead tired. I’ve never had this much trouble getting back on my sleep schedule, or even getting sleep to begin with.
Any ideas for tonight? So far, the ambien has succeeded in making me dead tired, giving me no quality sleep, but on the other hand, has seemingly reduced the amount of toss’nturn hell that I’ve been experiencing.