Weird, good things have happened since my vet talked me down. I think this whole debacle helped me acknowledge the extent to which I have allowed my cats to stress me out, so I just made a unilateral decision to chill.
Almost losing Mina made me appreciate and accept him more. In the past I’ve wondered if I should let him go, but last weekend I believed I had no choice, and it hurt so much that I realized I really do love him. We’ve been giving him extra playtime and then the rest of the time being very calm and gentle with him, and just the diminished anxiety/upset from us seems to calm him down. I’m not claiming he’s an angel… I think that shall never be the case. But he’s my little devil and I can honestly say for the first time I feel like he’s just part of the family now.
Merlin is still spraying but it’s too early for the Zoloft to kick in yet. I’m just trying in the short term to be more diligent about finding the places he’s spraying and neutralizing the odor, so I feel less terrible about the state of my house now. Every day I seek out three locations to clean, and since he’s not pissing more than three times a day the net effect is progress.
They both really seem happier. The other day Merlin was on the windowsill and started coughing up a lung. Mina got really worried (you’re going to have to take my word for it that a cat can look worried) and climbed up on the ledge beside him for moral support. Right now one of them is on top of the kitchen cabinet, sleeping, and the other one is on top of the cat tree in the living room, sleeping. Cats.
What a great update. How sweet of Mina to give moral support. I know just what you mean.
ETA: It sounds like at least Mina picks up on your stress, too. He didn’t know why you were upset, just that you were, and it upset HIM. My big orange jerk is empathetic like that, too.
Son’t let that cat in bed with you! We had an affectionate but occasionally ornery cat who was a wonderful snuggler…until he wasn’t. He loved to cuddle up with anyone in bed, but I got fairly frequent scratches and bites because he suddenly had an attack fit while I was sleeping. I loved him too much to keep him out of the bedroom, but I was worried about what he might unintentionally do. Once he scratched my son’s cheek pretty deeply, disturbingly near his eye. (After that I always made sure I had the cat at night, not my son.)
And THAT was a cat that never meant to do harm, he just played rough.
Declawing is a solution for cats that don’t go outside. That eliminates the more common injuries when the cat plays too rough.
Mean cats can still bite. A family friend’s declawed cat was a real terror. I never understood why they kept the cat. I kept my distance when we visited their home.
Merlin was already declawed when we got him. We decided not to declaw Mina unless for some reason it became medically necessary. I don’t think he is mean. I think he has a lot of energy. Picture an 8 year old with ADHD who knocks shit over and unintentionally crashes into people because he’s roughhousing, that is my cat. I have actually seen him become distracted mid-stalk. He spent last night chasing something nonexistent all over the house. Sometimes he gets overstimulated during petting and swipes out with his paw, but he’s never left any marks.
He can be an asshole when he’s not getting his way - for example, trying to block him from entering the bedroom when we go in and out. Merlin has access to an electronic pet door that lets him in and out of the bedroom at his leisure, and it drives Mina nuts. He will lay down outside the door and gaze longingly through it (it’s clear plastic. I’ve considered covering it, but Merlin is stupid and probably would not figure out he can still use it.) I haven’t found a great solution for this, so the minute a human enters or exits the door the normal way, Mina will dart in there and straight toward Merlin’s food dish. Sometimes he will lash out and threaten to bite when I try to move him from the door. It’s almost always a function of being overexcited. When he’s not in predator/play mode he can cuddle with the best of them.
I’m hoping the Zoloft and increased playtime will calm him down. So far things have been going surprisingly well. Merlin’s spraying appears to be decreasing.
If you haven’t tried it, another vote for Feliway. They now make a version for multi-cat households. I can tell a difference when I run out versus when the plug-ins are full.
Pandora is a handful and a drama queen normally. I had to re-train her to accept Baxter (RIP) after she was frightened by a noise and saw him, so her walnut-sized brain associated him with being afraid and she started to become aggressive with him. It took months, and even my vet was surprised that it worked.
I hope you can work things out with your Mina. Hugs.
A friend posted a video of his cats using one of these today. They absolutely love it, and look so svelte and happy. He set it in front of a sunny window, and has a ribbon hanging down so the cats get drawn over to it.
It made me think of your energetic young’un, so just thought I’d share. I hope things are still going well!
