My cat is awesome.

Partially inspired by this thread.

My new kitten (cite) is fantastic. I keep reading these threads started by the rest of you peons who feel the need to lament the peccadillos of your own kittens.

Sadie the Cat doesn’t keep me up at night. In fact, she sleeps curled up next to me or, if I’m laying on my back, between my legs with her head resting on my knee. If I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, she waits at my bedroom door for me to come back.

Sadie the Cat doesn’t meow constantly. Sometimes she’ll walk into the room and “meep” for no real reason, just to let you know she’s not mute. Otherwise, hardly anything.

Sadie the Cat kills vampires. She drags them up the stairs and into the apartment by their bowties. Cleaning up the blood and white makeup is more than reasonable considering the importance of living in a vampire-free apartment complex.

Sadie the Cat is fearless. New visitors are extra people to play with. I don’t have to show guests my awesome kitten. She introduces herself all on her own.

Sadie the Cat periodically leaves chunks of 24 carat gold in her litterbox.

Sadie the Cat greets me every day when I get home from school by waiting next to my bed. Once I take off my shoes, she jumps up and nuzzles my neck until she’s satisfied that I’m home.

Sadie the Cat sleeps on my computer monitor and periodically leans over to make sure the screen is ok.

Sadie the Cat plays the Hand Game. The rules of this game are simple. One puts their hand up to Sadie the Cat’s face, and she proceeds to ‘hug’ the hand with her paws and alternately nuzzle/lick/gnaw at the hand. The hand game is Grade A certifiable awesome. Scientists are currently in the process of attempting to replicate the Hand Game under labratory conditions.

Anything that dangles from anything else is a toy. When a certain buddy’s girlfriend is over, I’ll periodically see a grey shadow leaping through the air to get at this girl’s hair. The “anything that dangles” rule is also why Sadie the Cat isn’t allowed in the bathroom.

Sadie the Cat perches on my shoulder like a pirate’s parrot.

Sadie the Cat has defeated both Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris in hand to hand combat. Simultaneously.

Sadie the Cat chases her tail and regularly catches it.

So really, I don’t want to hear all this jibba jabba about how your cats suck. It’s your own damn fault for not owning Sadie the Cat.

Smart man! :wink: Wish I could see the picture, but it says your site “has exceeded its allocated data transfer”. Try Imageshack maybe? It offers free image hosting, and is pretty reliable. :slight_smile:

Here you are.

Aww, cute kitty! coos and reaches for a flutterball and some catnip

Meet my cats:

Cat # 1 - Gizmo the Calico. She is a fat lazy cat that sleeps all day. She NEVER plays and don’t even try it or you will get one LARGE pissed off kitty. She is getting quite cranky in her old age but she will still head butt you now and then just to say she loves you. She also lays flat on her back whenever she sleeps which exposes her large round tummy. This is how she has gotten the nickname of road kill or speed bump.

Cat # 2 - Nemo the Grey Tabby. Nemo is the slut. She also looks kind of evil and has no personality WHATSOEVER! She has already had 4 litters of kittens. I can not seem to get her to the vet to have her spayed. She weans the litter on Monday and is knocked up by Tuesday. She has a litter of 6 right now that are 5 weeks old.

Cat # 3 - April the Grey Tabby. One of Nemo’s kittens from last year. Just like her mother she has no personality. Mainly just sleeps and eats. I never see her play and she pretty much avoids all the other animals other than Gizmo who she sleeps with most of the time.

Cat # 4 - Button the light grey tabby with small spots of light peach. One of Nemo’s kittens from this year. She is 5 months old. She is a fool. Runs around the house and jumping from chairs to counters and settles on the kitty tree. She also loves to torment the dogs by attacking their tails. The dogs do not like this but Button does not seem to care. They will growl or snap at her but she runs and then pounces right back. She is the smart ass of the kitty family. She LOVES 2 liter bottle caps. You would think we are slobs (well we are but that is besides the point) from the 6 to 8 caps laying on the kitchen floor. I found one in my boot the other day. I was so happy that Christmas came early for me.

Cat # 5 - Jazzie the Tortie. One of Nemo’s (do you see a pattern yet?) kittens from this year. She is also 5 months and the coolest cat in the house. She is super mellow but also is fun to play with. She prefers to play with the actual toys I buy. I love when she comes in from outside as her tail seems to get 300% fluffier. She looks so cute and funny.

My son is begging for a Cat #6. He wants to keep one of Nemo’s current kittens. He has already been picked out and named Igor (Egor ?) as he has incredibly large eyes for his little head. We only named one other kitten which is Leo and that is only because he looks exactly like a cat I had from same litter April came from. His name was Leo but he got suddenly sick and died and the kitten looks exactly like his older brother.
I do not have pics right now but I will have some at a later date. I am sure by then another kitty thread will start and I can post them then.

:smack: So that’s where I’ve been going wrong all these years.

We have the hand game in our house too! But we call it Psycho Kitty. Baby, the 30 lb ball of goo, will sit on your lap (ow!) for petting. But after a while, she will start watching your hand. Then you lift your hand about 10 inches over her head and wiggle it. Yep, Jazz Hand set off my cat. Her eyes go BLACK - her ears go BACK and she opens her mouth like a vampire. It’s quite impressive; the feline Bela Lagosi. Then you have almost 2 whole second to stop with the jazz hand before you’re eviserated. Good times, good times…

Sounds very similar to how my ex-boyfriend learned not to walk around my apartment naked …