He wasn’t even charged with anything all that serious- 3 counts of interference with gov’t property (minor felonies) and one count of misd. theft by taking. They had him on videotape damaging the property in a state park, so we didn’t have a great defense. The DA was willing to let him plead to misdemeanors, but he didn’t want to do that so we struck a jury yesterday and were going to go to trial this morning. The DA said (in an uncharacteristic bout of reasonableness) that he’d still let him plead to the misdemeanor this morning if he changed his mind overnight, and I told the client that before he left the courthouse yesterday.
Yesterday a little after 5, right after the courthouse was locked up, he apparently tried to get in and couldn't, and he shot himself on the steps. He had confronted one of the State's witnesses earlier yesterday- I don't know the extent of the confrontation, the cop who was working the scene told me it had happened but didn't give me any details. The speculation is that he might have intended to hurt someone in the courthouse (like the prosecutor, or yours truly) and go out in a blaze of glory, but when he couldn't get in he just offed himself.
I always thought he was a little squirrely, but I had no idea he was this unstable. I am feeling really guilty because I keep wondering if I was too flippant with him, if I said something to him that pushed him over the edge, or what. My brain knows that he must have had a lot going on for a long time to do something like this, but my heart really hurts for him and the family he left behind, and I can't help but feel guilty about it. Before he left yesterday, he said he thought that the justice system was evil, but that certainly didn't give me any inkling that he was going to do this.
So, I'm sitting at home, with my briefcase full of his trial stuff, not wanting to go to my office in the courthouse.
Not to sound insensitive, but it sounds like that’s just what he did.
Now, more seriously, I can’t imagine why you woudl blame yourself. The guy damaged state property - on video - and then blames the court system for being out to get him?
No. I really think the man had problems if he was willing to kill himself because he was going to get nailed with misdemeanors.
Don’t feel any guilt, Katie. This had nothing to do with you or your actions. I’m sure this is a shocking development, and will take some time to deal with, but you do not need to blame yourself for anything.
You should not beat yourself up because of this. If the guy was so close to the edge that a flippant remark could send him over, then anything or anyone could have triggered it.
I can’t speak for you, but if I were in your position I know I’d be second guessing myself at every turn, wondering if there was something I should have seen, or said, or not said. The sad truth is that sometimes, there just isn’t.
It’s clear to me that the guy had deep seated problems. These problems probably were there long befor he even did his crime. I’m sure he had ‘bad feelings’ toward the government or ‘the system’ or even more simply ‘them’.
You did your job and you were willing to stand by him and defend him. This is soooooo not your fault.
Forgotten beat me to the punch. It appears that it was only a matter of time, and just as much as you think it’s your fault, I can pretty much say that you most likely had nothing to do with it. Unfortunately it just went down “on your watch”.
This will take some time, don’t fool yourself otherwise. Good Luck and don’t forget, we’re here for you.
And the latest development is that his brother (who looks just like him, it really creeped me out) came into the courthouse this morning raising hell, blaming and threatening everyone in sight, and is now in the county jail. Maybe they’ll get some freakin’ security in this courthouse now. We don’t even have metal detectors.
I know it's not my fault. But I still feel bad, and his brother didn't help.
How terrible. Makes me wonder what goes on inside a persons’ head that makes them want to kill themselves for minor things. How old was this guy?
If he was relatively young, he still has many decades ahead of him, and he ended it because of the possiblity of a few years of jail time? (what 2 years and a fine?)
I guess I can imagine the thoughts and emotions going through his head at the time, the sense of anxiety and impending doom because I have suffered it before. I always had that rational part of my brain telling me it will be over soon, in a relative sense, though.
I have no idea why he was trashing the park- he told the police it was “just stupid”, and never elaborated beyond that. He was in his late 20s, and the DA was offering probation, so it wasn’t like this was his only alternative to jail (I doubt the judge would have given him jail time if he’d been convicted by a jury).
He did have a deeply suspicious, "everyone's against me" nature, though- we were supposed to start the trial at 10 this morning, and I asked him yesterday to be here at 9 so we could go over everything again and so I could answer any questions he might have, and he got really agitated, like I was trying to trick him into being here early for some reason.
Very strange. Sounds like he was a ticking bomb to start out with. I don’t think there’s anything you could have done, katie1341, I think it was all waiting to happen and you just happen to be a bystander when he went off.
Although, you might want to recommend some kind of mandatory counseling (mental) for the brother, just in case he happens to be as off. Or as potentially dangerous.
(((katie)))
The only person this man could blame was himself.
As others have said, he did not seem all that stable in the first place.
It does get better, trust me.
Where did this happen, exactly? It’s not on the wires yet, or on GoogleNews anywhere. Does this sort of thing happen often enough in rural Georgia that it doesn’t even make the news?
Speaking as someone who’s been suicidal a few times, it’s not your fault! Just keep saying that until you believe it. Your client may well have been catastrophizing – seeing the worst possible outcome as the only outcome. To offer up a pure WAG, he probably saw himself going to jail leaving him with his reputation ruined and no possibility of getting a job (of course he’d be fired from his current job) or otherwise having a decent life. This isn’t because of anything you did or did not say. It’s the way a depressive’s mind tends to work. My heart goes out to you.
DDG, it happened in Homer. It’ll likely be in the Athens newspaper tomorrow, if you’re really interested you can check www.onlineathens.com tomorrow. I think the Homer paper only comes out once a week. It didn’t make the local TV news either last night or this morning, either- I was pretty shocked.
As a news guy, you shouldn’t be shocked about it not making the papers or the tube. We have an implicit rule about not covering suicide.
Although, if the family was willing to talk, given the strangeness of the case, a paper or TV station would do the story. But no reporter is going to really chase down family members of a suicide.