I can’t believe I have to say this again. I said it once before, in my old MySpace blog, when I saw a billboard with a picture of a woman, that said, “My neighborhood, my rules.” **
This time, the billboard showed two women, and it said, “Our Community, Our Rules.” Ha ha, someone must have read my old blog! Nice try, but it still doesn’t fly.
The possessive pronoun “my” can be used in two ways: one way denotes something you have personal possession of (“my underwear,” “my bank account”) or that is part of your body or yourself. (“my spleen,” “my mind,” “my personal standards of behavior.”)
The other way denotes things that you have a relationship with, or that you belong to: my age group, my religion, my spouse, my school, my employer.
You can certainly impose your rules on your personal possessions and your body. You can even try imposing your rules on your spouse – ha ha, good luck. But “my community” is definitely in the second category; and changing “my” to “our” may make the distinction a little more fuzzy, but it doesn’t really change it. Not with a picture of only two people. The only time this ever happens is if you live in one of those “gated communities” or maybe in condos, where sometimes two people do indeed effectively make all the rules.
But out here in the big scary real world, I’m afraid that just doesn’t apply. The first obligation of every block, neighborhood, and community is to the actual law. And the law is very clear that, unless someone is provably breaking the law, they have a right to be there – even if you don’t like it!
Show me a billboard with a few hundred people that says, “Our community, our rules,” and it wouldn’t piss me off so bad, but it would still be wrong. Say a few dozen of you don’t like that guy whose kids are thugs, or who has a grossly untidy yard. You can go over there and ring the doorbell and tell them about it, but you still cannot make the rules.
I think this whole mindset of people who think that their standards or personal dislikes are somehow more important than others’, and that it is okay to attempt to force their standards on other people in their own homes, is dangerous and repugnant. (This is why there are no live blues clubs left in Oakland. In at least one case I know of personally, ONE GUY moved in, knowing the club was there, the club’s hours and so forth; then sued the place and SHUT THEM DOWN. The club had been there for 30 years, and when I lived next door myself for years I never heard anyone else ever complain about it. It really wasn’t particularly loud, and closed down at midnight.)
I really do understand what these billboards are trying to accomplish, but they’re going about it in the wrong way.
**Here is the original blog, if you’re interested:
"I have seen the following phrase around a lot lately, especially on billboards:
“My neighborhood. My rules.”
I think what we have here is a semantic problem. Being the good grammarian that I am, I want to try and explain it to these people.
You see, the possessive pronoun (“my” and “your”, in this case) can be used in two ways – to denote something which belongs to you, and to denote something you belong to. The expression “my neighborhood” is not meant in the first sense. You do not own it.
“My socks, my rules.” Sure. “My house, my rules.” Okay, although that one just kind of rankles, you know? “My backyard, my rules.” Certainly.
Your neighborhood is something you belong to. Can you see The Who singing, “My Generation, My Rules”? Can you imagine walking up to your kindergarten teacher and saying, “My teacher, my rules”? How about, "My demographic, my rules"? "My job, my rules"? It just doesn’t work that way.
So, it may be your neighborhood – but no, it’s NOT your rules. OTHER people live there too, and I suspect they probably each have their own idea of what the rules should be. You have to TALK TO them in order to decide on any rules; what’s more, everyone’s opinion has the same value as yours, even if you don’t like it.
You know that house down the street with “a lot of traffic”? Turns out it’s some folks with a large extended family, and the mother is active in her church group which has meetings at her house. The daughter excels in math and tutors several of her fellow students, who of course come and go.
Those kids hanging out on the corner? What exactly are they doing that you think is bad? Yes, they’re rude and derisive, but if that were a crime, our President (Note: it was Bush at the time I wrote this) would be a Habitual Offender.
Those people who have activity “at all hours”? You better hope one of them isn’t a night nurse at the hospital if you ever are injured, or the baker who bakes the sweet rolls you need promptly at seven for a business meeting, or the guy who’s flying the plane on your next redeye flight to the home office.
Your neighborhood is someplace you belong to. Maybe you should try acting like it.