My conceptual art project for the day

"Large Flat Surface"

I want to have a large, square room with a large, square slab in the center of it, filling almost the entire room. The slab should be as flat as possible.

It’s my theory, proven to myself at least on almost every occassion I’ve come across it, that you can never have a large, flat surface where human nature doesn’t seem to compel someone to put something on it. You can never truly appreciate the large, flat surface as a thing in itself because the something on it has pretty much helped to define it. Therefore, I wanted to create a large flat surface that can be appreciated as a thing within itself.

This is November 14th and this is my conceptual art project for the day.

What’s yours?

A “Wet Paint” sign - that’s always wet.

I am going to yawn in my cats’ faces and see if I can get them to yawn back.

Does that count as “conceptual art,” or does it veer into “scientific experimentation?”

Ooooh, I just made myself yawn just thinking about it . . .

I think I’m going for performance art today, myself.

“The Accountant at Rest”

starring: me, my bed and a huge pillow.

Now if I could just get some funding…

Picture this - a holographic game of solitaire all laid out and ready to go, with a few good moves showing. At random and sporadically, the cards would move appropriately so that it seemed to “work” when people “touched” them. People would stand there for hours trying to move the cards, while others stood behind them and said “Ooh! Put that black 8 on the red 9!”

Art? Who knows…sounds like an interesting psychological study to me!

Bottomless pit.

or the typo I made while typing it:

Bottomless pi.

or the more tasty:

Bottomless pie.

I think I’ll make a series of them.
Oooh… I know. How about this:

A room with only one entrance. The door can only be opened from the outside, and slams shut once someone has gone through. It will be titled Classic Sitcom Plot, and will spark a new genre, Cruel Art.

I just found last year’s Halloween candy–I’m going to mash it all together and, in the spirit of irony, make a model of the food pyramid out of it.

I’m going to put a pissing cow on top of Euty’s flat surface and record the sound.

**Eve **can have the cow when I’m done with it.

Suits and dresses, but no bodies, clothing a man and woman making love on a bed of topless tupperware containers, while perched on top of a swingless swing set to show the emptiness and desperation of our lives. Be hard to find display space for it though.

My conceptual art project for the day is going to be a message board, with thousands of posts. It’s going to be interactive, so that anyone coming across it can add to a thread, or post a new one. Friendships will develop, debates will be debated, even dramas worthy of soap operas, as the work develops. Nearly anyone can think of to write will make up the text, as people interact with the work. I intend this work to explore the tension between isloation and communal experience inherent in internet communication.

Behold, my masterpiece!

And bad writing, with typos and omissions will be included, too!

I meant to say, dramas worthy of soap operas will reveal themselves, and nearly anything anyone can think of to write…


I could just take pictures as i need to finish my roll of film…

I shall print this thread on the top of your flat surface.

I’m going to find recordings of old Bakker and Westboro Baptist Church sermons, and maybe readings of Chick Tracts, to play from speakers draped on an inverted crucifix.

I’ll also have a font filled with grape juice and Jim Beam and Eastern Orthodox icons with Elvis’s face replacing Christ’s.

Yes, I’m trying to summon the … REDNECK SATAN!


by werid coincidence ive just this minute returned from doing the final set up for my end of 4 year graduation conceptual art degree exhibition.

pitch black room with 7 x 2 meter long, 12cm height and 25 cm deep light boxes, all on casters and sitting on the floor, each box has layers of transparent film with sentences printed on them. the letters are randomly assigned to different layers so its hard to read, with the layers being 2cm apart and set into the boxes.

the sentences are:

“hurry up peter said jane”
“for im a bear of very little brain and long words bother me”
“he takes something up gets tired of it and starts someething fresh”
“shell make a wonderful little housewife one day”
“thats unfair i thought but swallowed back my resentment and nodded”
“perceiving myslef ina a blunder i atempted to correct it”
“there is a point of no return unremarked at the time in most lives”