My condolences. I will be checking and commenting more later. We just got word that my Mother in law’s “boyfriend” age 80 has been diagnosed with “incurable” lung cancer. That is all I know for sure. I am just terribly terribly sad, for him, his daughters and their families, and my mother in law who loves him so dearly. He’s a grandfather type figure to my son too.
My own partner smokes. I’m trying to figure out what to say. He has tried unsuccessfully to quit. He has watched his own mother (not “my MIL”) die of cancer. I have said everything I could ever say on the subject.