I am so very sorry for your loss. You are one of my favorite posters.
Another break from phone calls and closet-staring. Being able to post here is really a help - you have no idea! I found 2 pant suits that will work - one in black, one in black and dark green. I have a black-with-maroon-print skirt that’ll work, but I’ll nead a blouse. So wardrobe isn’t quite the worry it was earlier.
I just got off the phone with my mom. She’s pretty sure he died instantly, so that’s a blessing. In fact, when she heard him fall and went to him, she was sure he was dead. She seems to be holding up pretty well, but I suspect she may not have taken the time to deal with it all. What’s troubling her now is that she can’t find Dad’s wedding ring. She has his old one - the one from when they got married - but a few years back, they got new ones with diamonds set in the bands. That one is missing. So on top of everything else, she had to file a police report.
I think she knew this was coming. Shortly after they set out on the trip, she thought Dad wasn’t feeling well. She told him they could turn around and go back home and take a cruise another time, but being, as she put it, “a hard-headed Polack” he insisted he was fine and that they go on. She’s right. He was hard-headed. He wanted things just so, preferably his way. Had he had a protracted illness, he’d have been a pain in everyone’s butt, and he’d have been miserable, so I guess this was the best way for him to die. Am I grasping at straws looking for a positive spin here?
Dad was very active in the Knights of Columbus for years. He’ll be buried in his tux with his K of C stuff, and he’ll have a Fourth Degree honor guard. He’ll be buried in the plot beside his parents. I haven’t been to that cemetery in 6 years…
I was remembering something my dad did for me. When I was in boot camp in 1973, he wrote me a letter telling me how proud he was of me. My dad wasn’t particularly demonstrative or affectionate, but in that one letter, I learned how much I thought like him. I was supposed to be the firstborn son - but maybe he wasn’t all that disappointed to have a daughter. I’m trying not to regret things unsaid. I’ll miss him.
lieu, I truly do appreciate your kind offer of help. Everything does seem to be organized and moving forward. Thankfully, my folks were staying with friends and not in an anonymous RV park somewhere - I’m sure that is a relief to Mom.
And I really do appreciate all the kind words from everyone. The kindness and compassion I see so often on this board has always touched me, now more than ever before.
{{{{{{FAIRYCHATMOM}}}}}}. Sweetie I am so sorry. Tho I believe no is ever prepared for the loss of a loved one, the sudden loss of a parent, child, spouse or sibling is the absolute worst kind. One minute they’re with you, next minute they’re gone.
Cry. Rant. Cry. Pray. Rant some more. Scream. Cry. Hug TPC[sup]TM[/sup] and Steve real tight. Let them be there for you. I know they will be, anyway. Laugh. Talk about your father. Cry. Rant. Laugh some more. Rember lots of good stuff.
Those are some of the things I did (still do) when my brother died suddenly earlier this year. It hurts. Gets easier in a while, sure, but still hurts.
Just remember, you have a whole lot of people here who love you. Please post and let us know how you are. And if it’ll help, email.
{{{{{{FAIRYCHATMOM}}}}}}
When my father died I flew out to Indiana to meet the family and attend the funeral. A bunch of his close friends and his brothers and sisters took me out to dinner–they were a roudy bunch and as the evening wore on they started telling funny stories about my dad. It helped me so much to get out of my funk and remember dad’s twisted sense of humor and his love of practical jokes.
Surrounding myself with happy, laugh-out-loud memories was wonderful for me–maybe it will help you and your family through this difficult time. My deepest sympathy and best wishes to you, FCM.
Laura
FairyChatMom, I’m so sorry…all my thoughts, prayers, and virtual hugs are with you. If there’s anything a Southern Maryland Doper can do for you, you’ve got my email. (And if not, it’s in my profile, here and at Fathom.)
What swampbear said.
I am so sorry to learn of your loss. I know nothing will fill the void of his passing but my hope is you will focus your attention on the happy times. You know that is what your father would want. It is OK to be angry, furious even. In fact, you should be angry. You are suffering a major shock and the pain must be faced before it may be softened. It will never go away entirely but in time you will grow to accept things as they are. May I also suggest that you find a solitary place and simply talk to your dad. He will hear you and understand, just like when you were little. It will help to know that he is still near when you need him. And he always will be. abogan.
I’m so sorry, FCM. Take some time to yourself if you can within all the preparations and details that have to be done. Grief is so unpredictable and strange, and differs for every person; don’t be afraid of what you’re feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
My sincere condolences, FCM. As has been said, losing a parent is a dreadful enough pain, without all the organising and family stuff that is done right alongside the grief.
My thoughts will be with you and your family today.
{{{FairyChatMom and family}}}
To echo everyone’s sentiments here, I am very sorry for your family’s loss. Think of all the wonderful memories that you shared…with that hard headed pollack. (That just cracked me up.) You are very fortunate to have a dad for so long.
[nag]It is not too late to change your lifestyle and eating habits.[/nag]
Sending warm thoughts your way. My dad has been dieing a slow death this past year and it has been rather painful. He is in amazing remission right now and I believe that he’ll see Christmas, but at the beginning of the summer I was sure he would not see Autumn.
No words of wisdom, but for what its worth, I grieve for you, I grieve with you.
A hug to you, The Perfect Child, and FairyChatDad.
I will light a candle for you all.
FairyChatMom
I am so sorry to learn of your loss. I know nothing will fill the void of his passing but my hope is you will focus your attention on the happy times. Your father always did want you to be happy and that has not changed one bit.
You are angry. Good. It is OK to be angry. In fact, you should be furious. You are suffering from major shock and facing the pain up front is the only way it will ever soften. Your anguish will never go away entirely but in time you will channel it to a special place were it is not so overwhelming.
May I suggest that you find a solitary time and place to simply talk to your dad. He will hear you and understand, just as he did when you were little. It will also help to know that he is still near when you need him. And he always will be.
abogan.
Sorry for the double post but the hamster was crying too.
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family, FairyChatMom.
Losing a parent is a horrible thing. You will be angry and sad and guilty by turns. But you will get through it. A whole big lot of us are holding you in our hearts right now.
Great big hugs from me and Mrs. B.
{{{{{{FairyChatFamily}}}}}}
FairyChatMom, I’d like to say how sorry to hear of your loss and to thank you for all the kind words you said to my wife and I after ours.
Best wishes go to you.
I’m sorry for your loss. There’s nothing I can say to make you feel any better, but just know what we are all here for you.
Monica
I’m so sorry to hear this FCM. My thoughts are with you.
I’m so sorry to hear, FCM.
Our thoughts are with you. 
My prayers are with you and your family as well. I’m very glad to know the Fourth Degree will be there as an honor guard; it’s one of the very meaningful things we can do in the Knights.
If your dad had a sword, I hope your mom will consider saving it and passing it on to a son or grandson someday, if one ever makes his own Fourth Degree. There are a number of men in my assembly that proudly carry a father’s or grandfather’s sword as they march in regalia.
May his soul, and the souls of all the departed faithful, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
- Rick