My Daughter's Boyfriends

What a bunch of crippled losers ! Look, when my daughter breaks up with you, don’t come calling on me for sympathy or support. I’m outa of this, understand.

Boyfriend 1. Actually broke off with Miss Grienspace because she wouldn’t move back to their home town from the big city that they shared an apartment in. He had stepped on a nail with his right foot, wasn’t getting enough attention I guess, bored in the big city while layed up and put out the ultimatum. She said go! Three weeks later he’s begging to be taken back and calls me crying.

Boyfriend 2. A smooth talking laid back foreigner. As time went on it became clearer that he had some serious issues to deal with including an alcohol problem.
He wanted her to move in with him but she wasn’t ready.
He throws himself in front of a train, breaking both his legs in front of my daughter. She spends three months looking after him securing a promise that he wouldn’t drink again, but that didn’t last after he got out of the hospital. Miss Grienspace decided to break up with him but had to quit her job and apartment in the big city of Vancouver and come back to temporarily live with us because she anticipated harrassment. He calls me crying on the phone telling me what a great guy I was and that he wanted to marry my daughter.

Boyfriend 3. Started several months ago. Shortly after my daughter started rebuilding her life by securing a summer camp counseling job on the other side of the continent where she would meet many other young counselers from all over the world. Then she connects with this young drywaller and they have a whirlwind romance. Four weeks ago he broke his right foot dirt biking. He clearly resented the fact that she was leaving for the summer. He made a big stink about it and they broke up a couple of days before she left. Several days ago he calls me crying because she hadn’t called him since she left. Duh!

Okay, now we hear that she’s met this wonderful English guy at the camp. He’s the camp soccer coach. He was a semi-professional soccer player until he wrecked his right foot…

Have you had a heart-to-heart with her yet about the kind of man she’s gotten used to picking? The problem may not be entirely with them, if you get my drift.

At least she knows enough to dump the bastards.

So, how old is your daughter, anyway? :cool:

grienspace, I agree that the problem may be largely with your daughter. I know my oldest girl (17) has picked some real losers, but her problem is that she doesn’t think she’s “complete” without a boyfriend, so she’ll go after the guys who are easy to catch; she talks in terms of love way too soon. I’ve had many talks with her about this, but so far it hasn’t helped. From the sounds of it, your daughter is an adult (she was living with one guy, maybe getting engaged to another, etc.), so you probably have to let her make her own mistakes, take the bumps and bruises and learn.

Good luck, pal, I know where you’re coming from!

Twenty-two years old.

Elvis, do you really think I could influence her choices at this stage?

Common theme here seems to involve the lower extremities, right foot, legs, right foot, right foot. Maybe she should look for someone whose activities involve the upper body, say a darts player or a computer geek.

Yeah, I was wondering if there was going to be a punch line about foot/feet/legs.

Just about all you can do is keep on keeping on, and be glad you know more about what’s going on with her than some parents do.

Are you sure your daughter isn’t the unwitting star of the latest reality TV show?

If she is, the second one is winning. The other three are wimps.


“Daddy, everything was fine but then they just snapped…”

My sister has had some real loser boyfriends. She wasn’t that great a catch herself, until she really pulled her life together about five years ago.

One of the worst was a guy who dumped her when she was 8 months pregnant with his child, then brought his new girlfriend to the hospital (and tried to take her into the delivery room) when Jess was having their son. You would not belive how pissed off the nurses were on Jess’s behalf - it was amusing.

Anyway, this guy - now almost 30 - has recently aquired a 19-year-old girlfriend - the latest in a long string of them, but this one worst than most. After meeting her for the first time, my mom shook her head and said:

“Jeez, that guy only dates the worst losers, doesn’t he?”
Jess said, “MOM!” A bit shocked and offended.
Mom said, “What?” while looking her right in the eyes.
Then they both burst out laughing. All in all, I rather like my family. :slight_smile:

In fact, yes. Who really does know what they want at that age?

She’ll be your daughter the rest of your lives. You’ll always be somebody she can talk to. Be glad of that.

Heeeeyy!!! It was a BIG nail… :wink:

And my experience with 22 year old females in that you can give advice, but they’ll decide whether they want to take it or not.

Maybe your daughter should start dating men who’ve had their right leg amputated already. It would certainly put a stop to this injury trend.

Is she hot? Cause, ya know, I can break a leg.

Obviously, she has an Oedipal complex.

Hmm… Paedipal complex? Nahhh.

Gotta be a Procrustes complex.

I’m thinking grienspace’s daughter is actually a sadistic foot-fetishist, and her boyfriends are all too terrified of her to talk about Maully, the sledgehammer she keeps in the bedroom.


Here’s a photo of Boyfriend #4

Am I right in understanding that her boyfriends all called you crying after she broke up with them? They called you? I just can’t fathom that. Between that and the right-foot-injury trend, I have to ask, what are you smoking up there on Vancouver Island? Wait, don’t answer that, I think I know. :wink: