My doctor told me to go suck lemons!

The BBQ Pit
1

So I woke up this morning with a big sore lump on the bottom of my face.:eek:
Shit! My glands are infected, I thought. So I try to get ahold of my doctor. Have you ever tried to get ahold of a doctor on a sunday without going to ermegency?

But he tells me to come to his clinic, he’ll be there.
Doc checks me out, and tells me my glands are not infected.

Then he asks me if I sleep with my mouth open.:confused:
How the fuck should I know? I have no idea what the hell I’m doing while I’m sleeping. I could be doing horrible things like remaking a fucking awful musical like the Music Man for all I know.
(hey. 2 rants in one post!:cool: )

So Doc goes on to tell me that I may be sleeping with my mouth open, which is why my saliva gland got dried out and is blocked!
Which is why I noticed it in the morning.
Christ. A blocked saliva gland?:eek: :eek: That sounds really bad!
What do I need? Medication? Surgery?

No, doc says. Just suck on some lemons for the next day or so and it will clear up.

Suck…on…lemons?
He goes to school for 400 years to become a doctor and all he can tell me is to suck lemons?
Then he tells me he can write me a prescription for them if it will help get my insurance to pay for them!:rolleyes:
Lemons are on sale this week at Pick N Save 5 for a buck. I think I can manage! Suck lemons indeed! I wanted medical marijuana!

2

Um … good rant an’ all, but, yeah: lemons are one option when you have blocked saliva glands, pkbites. Shouldn’t you be happy your doc isn’t trying to pump you full of chemicals at the first instance?

3

Maybe you really have scurvy, and your doctor just didn’t want to break it to you.

4

When life gives you lemons, suck the juicy bastards dry!

I envy you, pkbites. I wish I had an excuse to suck on something maddeningly sour and refreshing.

(The last sentence above is going to be quoted. I can feel it.)

5

Damn, PK, it must suck (no pun intended) when your doctor doesn’t write out costly prescriptions for minor medical problems.

Okay, maybe I’m just a bit bitter. bitter I don’t have health insurance, so every time I go to the doctor it costs me my rent; I wish my doctor would recommend remedies I can find in the produce section.

And for what it’s worth, my SO always sleeps with his mouth open, and I’ve never in my life heard of drying up your saliva glands. I didn’t, to be frank, know I had saliva glands. I guess the shit has to come from somewhere though, eh? And where are the said glands, anyway?

6

Well, you can just go suck a…!

Oh. Nevermind.

7

salivary glands are located in the floor of the mouth, the ducts open out beside the frenulum of the tongue.

and it’s possible to have the duct blocked by a stone, kind of like a gall stone, in which case they slice the opening up and remove the stone with tweezers.

so, pk, it could be worse than lemons!

8

Shouldn’t anything with high citric acid concentrations break up the blockage?

Guava and passion fruit juice is much tastier than lemons.

9

I keep wondering what is the best way to suck a lemon. Cut it into halfs? Thirds? Fourths? Peel or no peel?

10

This thread has left me with a sour taste in my mouth.
rimshot
Thank yew. I’ll be here all week, folks.

:smiley:

11

fourths, with peel.

Personal preferance though.

12

Look at it his way, pk. Now you have a good excuse to do tequila shots.

But honey, it’s medicinal

13

No, no, no!
Lime wedges with tequila, not lemon!
Darn ignorant easterners…

14

Halves, cut the short way, with peel. Preferably with kosher salt on them, though regular table salt works too. I love them this way.

And after I’m done sucking them, I DO scoop out the pulp and eat it.

15

Apparently Lynn’s been told to “go suck a lemon” lots of times :smiley:

16

You’re having medical problems caused by your mouth drying out, and you want the doc to give you pot?:dubious:

17

They must work. Just reading this thread has set my salivary glands a’gushing, and my mouth is now puckered up like a cat’s bum.

:smiley:

18

It sounds so good I’m going to go get me one and cut it in half right now!

::squeeze::
::slurrrpp::

19

In addition to the “floor glands” mentioned by irishgirl, there are also some up in the cheek area above and behind the upper teeth.

{That’s a great link if you want to know where something in your body is (the natural stuff, not what you put there): Gray’s Anatomy Online}

kambuckta: Shouldn’t that :smiley: be a * ?