My dog is so lazy.
About half the time, she can’t bother herself to get out from under the covers in the middle of the bed to bark at things. She just barks from there…strange, muffled barks.
My dog is so lazy…
she stays on the couch and looks at food.
Like she can taste it without getting up.
I saw a news snippet on tv about how to test the intelligence of your dog. Apparently you put a towel over its head, and time how long it takes to get it off.
When being tested, my dog lumbered to his feet, walked three feet, and lay down with his head in his food bowl, towel covering all. He was still like that two hours later.
My dog always lies on the tiled area in front of the apartment door. When I try to open the door, she just lies there and lets the door push her out of the way.
(Not really her fault though, she’s on a couple of medications to control epilepsy.)
Hate to be a spoil-sport . . . .
You’re dog’s not doing this because she’s lazy-- just dumb. She can hear herself barking just fine. It doesn’t occur to her that others can’t hear her as well.
You win already.
My dog growing up - an overweight black dachshund - was so lazy his biggest decision each day was which heat register he should lie in front of. he did it so much that he wore some of the fur off his back. While walking (waddling?) him a stranger aptly described him as a “Sooner dog”, explaining that he looked like he would sooner lie in front of a radiator than do anything else. Really hit that nail out of the park!
My dog is so lazy he doesn’t sit, he leans. He leans when standing too. It’s hilarious to watch. If you move the object or body part he’s leaning on, he’ll just fall right over with no attempt made to catch himself. This never gets old.
My dog is so lazy…
that if you throw a ball “too far” she will bring back a different ball that she found closer to her. But she won’t always come back to you…she’ll lie down and wait for you to come get her.
This wouldn’t be so bad except she’s a RETRIEVER.
My retriever does this, too! What the hell is wrong with them?
Seems to me those kinds of dogs have their owners trained really well. 
My dog was so lazy, she would eat while lying down. She would sprawl on her stomach in front of her food bowl and munch away. To be fair, she was a pretty long-legged dog, and it must have been quite a reach down to the food bowl on the floor. I’ve even seen elevated food/water setups for such dogs. But she was comfortable and never had any digestive problems as a result, so I just let her eat however she felt like.
… he wouldn’t even bend over to lick himself! <rimshot> Baddabing! 
It’s also better for their joints if you elevate the bowl. Younger dogs won’t have any problems, but it can be a mercy for older dogs.
Once the ball stops moving, she probably doesn’t realize it’s a different ball.
OT, but I’m always trying to come up with things to keep my dog from getting bored/lazy when the weather gets bad.
I’m thinking about signing her up for beginners agility classes or something like that in the winter. There’s a place around here that has indoor classes. Anyone ever do this when a dog wasn’t a puppy?
Retrievers that don’t bring the ball all the way back are often trying to figure out which one of you is really in charge.
Sounds like you’re losing.
Seriously, though, my lab and I went through this for several months when she was around 18 months. She would caome to within about 8 feet of me, and just drop the ball. Took about 3 solid days of work to kill that habit.
Oh yeah, I know. Those goldens are so pretty and they know it. So they get away with a lot of things.
I like to think that my dog is a Jedi - not that she’s in charge. I am powerless to her Jedi Mind Tricks.
Food falls out of the sky into her mouth…doors open just by her staring at them…balls retrieve themselves. It’s amazing!
My Dottie does this too, and she’s a springer spaniel, not very tall. Her sister (yes, they are biological sisters, I’m not being twee) eats standing up, like normal.
I agree, MrFantsyPants wins so far. His dog reminds me of a drunk who passes out with his head in the toilet bowl.