My dog is the cutest, coolest, smartest one on the planet

She’s a miniature Australian Sheepdog (recognized by the American Stockdog Association, but it’s too new a breed to be recognized by AKC).

She’s adorable. She’s so smart. She has approximately 20 different playtoys. She knows the names of all of them and will fetch them according to name. “Get your chewman” and she’ll get the chewman, “get the dragon” and so on.

Included are two “spiny balls” that are identical except for color. One is named “pink” and the other is “purple”. She will get the proper one when told to “get pink” etc.

If I tell her at night that she gets to go to the office with me in the morning, she remembers. She gets wild and won’t let me forget that I promised to take her (on normal days she knows she doesn’t get to go and is reasonably calm, or as calm as an aussie could be, accordingly).

She knows that when I spell something it must be something about her, because it doesn’t matter what I spell, she goes ballistic wanting to find out what it is, Is it a new toy? Is one of my doggie friends coming over? TEll me!! TELL me!!!

She “talks” at me if I have forgotten to fill her water bowl, or if she wants outside. It’s sort of a combination of a bear cub growl, and a slight low pitched whine.

If it’s water, she’ll talk and then “punch” the cabinet doors below the sink with her paws.

Okay, so. She’s also neurotic and behaves as if there is pure amphetimine in her veins instead of blood. She’s addicted to her “boomer ball” (a hard plastic ball that she plays “soccer” with in the back yard).

She loves to be petted and scratched, but despite the fact that she enjoys a good rubdown and nice hard scratching, if you brush her even with the lightest gentlest touch, she acts as if she is being tortured.

She hates movies. She watches them and is convinced that the noises and creatures on the screen are going to get her at any moment. She sits there with her ears pinned back, staring at the screen and shaking like a little leaf.

Anyone else have a truly awesome adorable dog?

I have two half-witted eating machines that pretend to be dogs for my amusement…

They’re a pair (father/son) of Schnauzers (from the German, “those who Schnauze”) that are so spoiled that they’re rotten.

Spencer (DaddyDog) is a bad boy about marking his territory. He’s learning that it isn’t in his best interest to do so inside, but he also punishes those who make him unhappy. (Peeing on the bedpillows happens to be his form of punishment.) Preston (BabyDog) is a witless wonder, a wimp in Schnauzer clothing.

I rescued them (twice) from a neglectful situation, and they are MY dogs, more that anyone else in the household. They have relearned trust and love, and are doted on and catered to…sometimes to ridiculous extremes. They got to make a visit to the hospital to see me after my last surgery. The physical and occupational therapy people set it up for the SO to bring them one afternoon, and we sat in the courtyard, me covered in pillows to keep them off the incision, and the pillows covered in dogs. Baby got behind my neck (where he sleeps) and licked my ear, and Spencer, who is attuned to my illness, lay on my lap and put a paw over my hand.

Their favorite toy is called “Kill the Wabbit”. It is a hand-made egg-shaped bunny toy with FIRMLY sewn on ears. The recognize the name, and even know what we mean when we call it KTW. They also love to chase bubbles.

We do have the brushing problem. And a slight bathing problem. (I can bathe them, anyone else risks life and limb to do so.) And we HATE the groomer, so we generally have a pair of wiry-haired puffballs.

They talk a lot, a Schnauzer trait, and have the most hilarious baying-type bark (Arooorrooorrooooooooo), and Preston is Doggie Dental Floss…if your breath smells of toothpaste, he wants to lick it. That IS where Mommy draws the line, however.

Sweet dogs, but only one brain cell between them.