I’m on the couch, working, and my dog is just sitting down the way, looking at me, desperately wanting to come sit on my lap. But he’s just…pointing at me with his red, shiny weenie. It’s been out for about the past 10 minutes.
I’d kick him off, but I’m afraid he’d go find my kids, and my five-year-old daughter’s entranced by that thing. Like, she’ll stop whatever she’s doing and just stare at it, like it’s a trigonometry problem needing to be solved.
I hate dog boners.