My EAP's confidentiality policy sucks

Well, to all of you who have so aptly discerned that the problem is my husband and not my EAP, you’re right. It sure wasn’t their fault he took the thing out of my hands. And now that I’ve cooled down a little I have remembered a couple of similar incidents. (1) (years ago) the phone rang as the whole family was leaving and I answered it. It turned out to be an obscene phone call, not one of those immediately obvious obscene phone calls but one that starts out sounding like a sales call. When I realized that, thirty seconds or so into the call and having already answered a couple of questions, I hung up and, apparently, looked upset, and he asked me what was wrong. I didn’t want to say, in front of my sons (who were young then), so I said “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ll tell you later.” Snit ensued. Just what I needed after a call like that. (2) a few months ago I got a postcard from a friend who happens to be a man. A postcard, mind you, so he could read the message, and he probably did, and there was nothing to it–but the thing was, he kept the postcard from me for a day because . . . it arrived on our anniversary and, to quote him, “I don’t need this. Not on my anniversary.”

This kinda looks like a pattern of some sort, doesn’t it. :smack:

Still, I blame the EAP for precipitating the problem and reiterate that, given the nature of their business, they could have been even more discreet. They could have put it in their unmarked envelope and mailed it to my office. Or putting it in my pay envelope would have been fine because the people who do that are in another state and are strangers to me, but I suppose the EAP had no way of knowing that.

It’s kind of ironic that the piddly little problem I took to the EAP has revealed a much bigger problem.

Yes–that’s it exactly. What are you reading/where are you going, etc. Sometimes I just want to disappear, with nobody knowing where I am or what I’m doing. I don’t know why I feel this way but I don’t think I’m wrong to feel it.

That sounds good; I wish we had that kind of understanding, but he’d just see it as evidence that I didn’t trust him, or something.

Hm, I think it’s too late for the first, I could probably write the second, and the third one sounds good. I realize I have spent a lot of energy mollifying these moods of his and it’s very draining.