I showed up an hour early for this rally on a high school football field here in Las Vegas. Showgirls strolled casually, serving comp drinks and taking Keno numbers. Costumed Cirque performers leaped and cartwheeled around the field, amusing the crowd. Booths were set up to pass out campaign literature, sign petitions, and to sell buttons and t-shirts and drugs. It was like a bizarre open-air market in some druglord’s country, with sellers desperately outshouting each other, offering women’s rights, environmental protections, cheaper coke, better hash and cleaner hookers.
I could see people moving thru the stadium seats passing out free hits of mescaline. I got mine and tried to relax before Obama spoke, but the crush of thousands of people, coupled with my inability to find a showgirl with a drink, made me a little tense. I asked the nun sitting next to me if she had anything to calm me down and luckily she had plenty of Xanax. I wolfed down a few and kept moving, knowing that it’s not smart to stay too close to a nun, even one with loads of prescription meds.
I got lost in the crowd, but the chanting drew me back somehow and I was “there” in time to see Obama come strutting out, dressed in some kind of white and purple Prince outfit, as explosions rocked the stage and George Clinton and P-Funk (live!) blared Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker). Everyone cheered! The crowd went crazy! Women screamed, men cheered, and hippies stank like patchouli.
And then Obama spoke. Maybe it was the drugs, or the booze, or maybe it was just a really good P.A., but Obama’s voice chilled the crowd, even me, and we all quieted down to hear what he had to say. And then he told us that he believes in America, that he loves his country, and that he wants to help people achieve the American Dream which he defines (like most people) as wanting to be zombie-free, and to live in a zombie-free place with other people who are not zombies. John McCain, he says, want to let the zombies in! Good lord! That would be a catastrophe! Obama also promised to lower the price of gas, rid the world of disease, and to help the nation find some really good shoes.
After several hours of wandering around the football field, now crowded with people glowing with the hype of presidential politics and gleefully wanting to kill zombies, I finally found my way to the streets and made my way home.
I haven’t been to a McCain rally yet, but it’s gonna be hard for him to top an Obama '08 rally.