My Fellow Republicans

The BBQ Pit
1

My Fellow Republicans,

Just between us, we must acknowledge that our day as a viable political party has come and gone. Our core values have been thoroughly discredited.

And that’s leaving aside the values that we don’t acknowledge publicly: racism, xenophobia, and blind support of all economic matters that favor the ultra-wealthy and punish the poor and working-class.

No, we’ve lost all support on our traditional key issues: opposition to deficit spending, abortion, increased military spending, all of which and more are no longer viable positions in a majoritarian government. We will never again win a majority of support from American voters on the issues we espouse, either publicly or privately.

So we must plan, here in this room, to govern with only a minority of voters supporting us.

How? We must step up our methods, which are so far successful, to gerrymander voting districts that will allow us to control legislatures with as little as 40% of the vote, and we must continue to install judges who will deem such gerrymandering legal.

If we can accomplish these two goals, we can look forward to at least one more generation, maybe two, of Republican views prevailing in American government.

There are other techniques that will work, of course, in battling the tide of the political positions that are actually popular: scapegoating of minorities, for example, must be amped up. So far, we’ve managed to persuade core Republican voters that gays, Jews, Muslims, intellectuals, foreigners, the young, the old, scientists, and even women on occasion present grave threats to the American way of life—we must expand this fear to a greater number of marginalized groups, even if we must invent them or create their positions out of thin air.

We must become bolder in labeling our enemies, and not risk certain potential voters out of subtlety in the labels we attach to our enemies. True, it is risky to come right out and say what we think, but these are desperate times. We face the utter destruction of our sacred party, so the time for timidity has passed.

Whether we prevail for a generation or two, or only for one more glorious election cycle, the time has come for the Republican Party to take our stand. If our party dies, the American dream has died, so this is the moment for us to do anything and everything we can to retain our grip on power. God bless you!

2

Moderating:

I’m struggling to see what discussion you want to have with this post. It seems more like a rant to me, and one that baits Republican-leaning posters. We have a place for that. Accordingly, I’m closing it.

Feel free to try to persuade the P&E mods that there is a discussion here to be had, or ask for the thread to be reopened in the Pit. Thanks.

5

Did you swipe that from a Goebbels speech?

Well done!

6

That certainly does seem to be the kind of manifesto someone would deliver at the R convention. If only they could bring themselves to speak the truth in public about their ideas and plans.

Nice bit of performance there @slicedalone.

7

I’m not convinced that Republicans ever really opposed deficit spending; at least, not since before Reagan. It makes a great talking point when they want to oppose some policy proposed by Democrats (“we don’t want poor children to go hungry, but we just can’t afford SNAP.”), but when Republicans have held Congress and the presidency, deficit spending has gone up.

Who knows if there’s support for deficit reduction. If Republicans actually did something about it, they ight gain votes.

8

‘I’m a fiscal conservative’ was never true in my 40 years on this planet.

There has only ever been, “I choose to spend tax money on only conservative projects.”

That means War, Wealthy Tax Break or both.

9

This thread is here to state what I think honest GOPers are saying to each other behind closed doors, and why I think they’re as desperate now as that rat in the corner is with you poking him with a stick. All thoughts of fairness, tradition, the rule of law no longer matter–that rat will do anything to get past you–bite, claw, gouge, destroy. He’s fighting for his life, and the odds don’t look good for him. If he goes with the way things have worked themselves out in the past, that’s akin to suicide, so he won’t let you stab him with that stick. He’s a survivor.

10

Not really. Republicans were more than happy to pass Medicare Part D (which covers prescription drugs) when it looked like the popular thing to do. They didn’t bother to pay for it, though.

11

For an OP about what you think “they’re” saying, you made excessive use of the word “we”.
It’s a great example of saying the quiet part out loud.

12

Whu?..talk about being damned with faint, faint praise.

Dan

13

I switched parties after the one who should not be named was elected in 2016.

14

Same, for fuck’s sake they got worse after that,

15

You start by saying that the party is going the wrong direction and then you continue on to say that we should try to do just that as much as we can, for as long a period of time as possible.

The latter doesn’t follow from the former.

I understand that the goal was parody but the disjoint is too strange. It just felt poorly crafted. A proper parody should maintain a consistent viewpoint but slyly slip in some of the obvious flaws in the viewpoint as though unintentional.

2/10, mostly for proper sentences, spelling, and reasonable length paragraphs.

16

The contradictions only makes it more believable that it came from a Republican.

Eh, 8/10. Mostly because a Republican wouldn’t have used proper sentences, spelling, or reasonable length paragraphs.

Put that into a Heritage Foundation editorial, and most of the readers would nod in agreement.

The only thing I would have changed is “political positions that are actually popular” to “political positions that are popular among the woke leftist commie antifa marxist mob funded by Soros.”

Other than that, pretty good summarization of the Republican POV.

17

I don’t see that at all. I see something closer to this gloss:

We can no longer expect our policies to be popular. Therefore we have to win anyhow, despite being unpopular. Therefore we need to cheat and destroy small-d democracy to keep the USA safe for capital-R Republican values.

We don’t care what the public wants. We know what we in this smoke-filled room want and we aim to deliver that for us by hook or by crook. Because we sure can’t expect to deliver it by old-fashioned voting on the merits. That way lies ever increasing failure.

18

Yes, you do.

Thanks to you, and @k9bfriender, I am spared the ignominious task of explaining myself.