What the why I never!?
I have a pretty good imagination and my mind takes up residence in the gutter a large percentage of the time and I still can’t figure out the logistics on this one.
Someone want to draw me a picture?
I’m not sure in what sense you intended “nature’s butter”, but it’s certainly the case that a ripe avocado is soft enough to be sliced through with a butter knife. A butter knife, being quite dull, has never in my experience been the instrument of bloodshed, so it’s my tool of choice when dealing with slippery fruits like mango or avocado. Even when making guacamole, for which some recipes might call for minced garlic and other ingredients necessitating a sharp chef’s knife, the motive of saving rinse water by utilizing only one knife seems petty compared to the directive of self-preservation.
Those who know claim that the inside of an avocado best re-creates that vaginal feel. Better than, say, a watermelon or cantaloupe, I guess.
Good to know these things in case you’re ever sent to prison. 
That brought up more questions but then my imagination started working again.
Sadly, I don’t think that information will ever help me in prison should I ever find myself there. If you ever end up there let me know; I’ll send you a care package. Maybe.
Seems like a waste of a perfectly good avocado.
Funny, but that’s what the inmates say when they see a salad.
After the sexual gratification story, I didn’t want any avocado either.
Funny, it motivated me to make a wrap. Romaine, red pepper, red onion, cream cheese, roasted red pepper hummus and mmmm…avocado.
Sticking it in a fruit just seems to be begging for a UTI.
That’s what they say, isn’t it? But it looks like a blunt knife would have been safer here.
Are American avocados bigger? Because those I’ve seen are 4" long at the most.
A friend works in a hospital ER. She told me that knife wounds from slicing bagels outnumber heroin ODs where she works, therefore we should legalize heroin and outlaw bagels.
Ha!
Finger is doing well. I was able to ride my bike to work this morning (I was worried about braking) but typing is a pain. Only really hurts if I stretch my finger backwards like I did somehow in the middle of the night, waking to searing pain, sure I tore a stitch (I didn’t).
I see you’ve played knifey-fingy before.
Unless the ones in the Target Grocery are outliers, no, no they are not. I don’t understand how this works. Do you fuck around the pit or is there some way to remove it without completely destroying any sort of hole capability of the avocado. Unless, it’s more of a donut design? But that’s just weird.
IIRC, the Texas Monthly did not go into the logistics of the act. But I would assume it is not necessary to enter the fruit – or any other object – all the way to the hilt to obtain the desired results. We have some prison employees here on the Board. Perhaps they could lend a hand. (With telling us more about how it works, I mean.)
Meanwhile, here are 20 facts about avocados. I note the fourth one down: The Aztec word for avocado was ahuacatl, which means “testicle tree.” Obviously, this is one sexy fruit.
I am no officially never eating or touching avocados again. They’re just too dangerous between the blood shed and STDs. YUCK.
Right, you’ll only eat and touch them unofficially. Much safer.
An avocado you cannot cut up using a butter knife, ain’t ripe.
Touching an unofficial avocado is more likely to give you an STD.
Your finger may not be an avocado, but my uvula is not a ball bearing.
It’ll behoove you to care for your uvula!
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Good to know you are healing, EmAnJ.