One thing I enjoy about life is that there are constantly opportunities to do something for the first time: today I took my very first drug test, as a condition of employment with a company whose job offer I accepted yesterday (they’re also running a background check). I imagined it as being similar to when I have to pee in a cup for the doctor, except for some reason I had it in my head that someone was going to have to be in the room with me when I … um … “created the sample.” Happily, I was wrong about that part.
It was a pretty simple procedure: I went to the back of the lab with a technician, and she watched me place my things in a nearby container. She confirmed that my pockets were empty, and then had me wash my hands. She handed me the cup, showed me the line that I needed to fill it to, and told me that I was not to flush the toilet or wash my hands when I was done – I was to just bring the cup to her. So I did, and I watched her check the temperature and then pour most of it into a vial. She filled out the form that I’d brought with me (it came with the offer letter and instructions about the drug test), and had me sign and date it. Then I dated and initialed the seal that would be placed on the vial, and she sealed it. Then I was allowed to wash my hands and flush the toilet, following which I took my copy of the form, collected my things, and left. The whole thing took maybe 5-10 minutes … I spent more time in line at JoAnn Fabrics afterwards than I did in the lab.
So now I can say that I’ve been drug tested. I feel like eating a poppy-seed bagel or something.
The one time I had to submit to drug testing for potential employment, it was done with a tool to check levels in the saliva. We each received a stick with a bit of foam at the end on which to suck for three or so minutes. It tasted oddly sweet. Results were available after a few more minutes. I suspect the test only checked for high levels of drugs in the body, a sort of ‘If they’re high this very moment, don’t hire’ type of thing.
I was glad we got the saliva test. I have issues with urinating on demand.
Good luck at your new job. Make sure you get a prescription to CYA for that bagel, just in case.
What’s wrong with it is that it’s none of their goddamn business. Secondly, you could be a raging alcoholic, crackhead, junkie and meth addict, and as long as you can abstain from any of those for a couple of days, it goes undetected. If you happen to smoke a joint at that jam band show you went to two weeks ago, you are not only unemployed, but damn near unemployable.
Having said that, I certainly don’t want a pothead at the controls of a commercial airliner, nuclear power plant or driving my kids’ schoolbus, but I fail to see the need for this privacy-invading idiocy just to sit at a computer and count beans. Makes no sense.
Of course, now the bastards are doing hair tests, where they can tell everything you ingested for the last 3-6 months. Life imitating Gattica. Creepy.
I’m pretty much with you. I had to take a drug test for my current job (software development manager) that involves no safety or security issues. I was tempted for about three seconds to refuse out of principle, but needed the job, so I didn’t add my lonely effort to the struggle against the machine.
The place I went for my test had a big marble fountain in the middle of the waiting room. Worked for me.
But I’m the one who made it their business. Does that make me wrong? If so, am I also wrong for knowingly and willingly giving up certain other civil liberties in order to do the kind of work that I do?
Where do you get “damn near unemployable” from? I’ve been in IT for more than 8 years and this is the first drug test I’ve taken – and none of the other jobs I recently applied for would have required one.
Besides, if you “happen to smoke a joint” you must certainly be willing to accept the consequences of such. I have no issues with pot, I think it should be legalized, and just the other day I was telling a friend that every now and then I miss catching a buzz – but the work I do makes obeying the law a little more important than it used to be, and right now marijuana is illegal, so if I want to do the work that I do and smoke a joint every now and then I can’t justify any outrage if the two interests ever conflict.
Last time I went in for a drug test was as a condition of hire for the job I now have. Everything would have gone fine, except that the stupid technician didn’t bother to take the temperature right away, so it cooled down to room temperature, and then bitched me out as if it was all my fault. Worse yet, they told me that to do the test again, I had to wait until I needed to go again, and I couldn’t leave the building. I mean, if I was gonna cheat, I would have cheated the first time, right? I, of course, had other things to do with my time, and said I needed to at minimum put money into a parking meter, and if I could leave for 20 minutes and get the car to my husband (who had a job interview to go to and was expecting to be able to take the car), I would be right back and they could pat me down to make sure I didn’t have any illicit urine in my pockets. They wouldn’t let me. They did finally cave to letting me go pay the parking meter, because I threatened to send them the ticket if I got one! They basically treated me like a drug addict because they had hired an incompetent nurse/technician whatever she was. They threatened to call the company and tell them I was “refusing the drug test”. Um…once again, people, I’m not refusing it… YOUR STAFF SCREWED IT UP!!" And every 10 minutes for the next hour and a half they nagged… are you ready yet? “Um… no. I just went (remember!!!) and I can’t exactly piss on demand!”
Anyways, in the end, I was able to drink enough water from the fountain to get me to go again, and then I went home. But basically, it was a horrible experience and if I can avoid dealing with that clinic in the future, I will. Of course, they seem to do the pre-hire exams for every company in the damn city, but still… I wouldn’t recommend them!
It’s not exactly “voluntary” when it’s a requirement for employment, and all of your potential employers in your field require the tests… such as the fast-food industry.
That said, I’m glad that the field I’m in doesn’t test. Not that I do drugs, mind you- but that it’d be awful damn lonely in the office after the first test.
Personally, I only mind the drug tests out of principle. However, if we’re going to have drug tests, we should also have alcohol tests. I’ve seen more people effed up on alcohol than on drugs.
I really didn’t start this thread to get into a debate about drug testing – there’s a reason why I stay out of GD. I just wanted to share a mundane story from my day. Suffice to say that I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with drug tests (maybe just with the way that some places use them), but it’s apparent that my experiences don’t match those of the rest of the folks in this thread.
Not to mention that hair tests are vastly more effective against women, since many men can just shave their heads. My husbands hair lives for about a week before it is shaved off.
A drug test was a condition of my employment and I find it personally offensive, unfortunately, it is a difficult area to protest, or defend for that matter.
Most folks that do drugs and expect to get tested know exactly how long their drug of choice stays in there system and plan accordingly. BTW, you could have drug screened my husband with the standard cheapie five panel all day long and it would have come back negative. It takes a ten panel to show methodone. So I guess the rule is, do less commonly abused drugs, drink like a fish and shave your head.
It is depressing I could pass any imaginable drug test. Oh the days…
They can take hair from anywhere on your body and it will work. So unless you shave from head to toe… (which I read an article about someone who actually did once. He didn’t get the job)
I have an extremely part-time job as a fitness instructor. The national parent of my employer recently decided that all employees had to take drug tests, and I refused on principle (I’ve worked for them for over two years; if I were on drugs, they should have noticed by now). The HR person told me that they weren’t firing people over refusals, but that if I didn’t take the test by August 30, “we will no longer employ you.” I told her that was unfortunate and that I would would leave when she told me I was “no longer employed”. I promised the director I’d stay until I was forced to leave or until they replaced me, whichever came first. However, fitness instructors who are willing to work odd hours for the amount a non-profit pays are few and far between.
Let’s see…it’s the end of October now, isn’t it? Time flies when you’re not peeing in a cup.
I don’t fault anyone for submitting to them; I’ve done it more times than I can count. I’m saying they are far more widespread than necessary and are just way over the line in terms of how much power businesses can hold over individuals.
It’s just fairly politically indefensible to call for curtailing it right now and that is unfortunate. I feel I submit under duress, even though I’m clean.
Saying “go work retail” (which BTW, drug test, too) is flippant. People study and train on their chosen professions for years and for more important and wide-ranging reasons than whether or not they smoke pot, and shouldn’t be curtailed by something that really isn’t necessary. And it’s not necessary for someone to whom you contribute 8 hours of labor to have any business with the other 16.
Where is this place? I’m assuming a private lab, not a hospital, but I can’t think of any offhand. Making the mistake and not checking the temperature right away is bad but forgivable - their behavior afterwards was just incredibly unprofessional.
I’ll be going through the drug testing fun in a few weeks, if I’m lucky and get the job offer I’m hoping for. The funny part is, I rarely eat poppy seed bagels, and yet I know I’ll get a terrible craving for them the week before the test.
Yes, deliberately so – hence the "…? " at the end.
Good grief! Lightnin’ specified the fast-food industry, so I came back with another industry that employs a largely unskilled workforce. It was a light-hearted comment not meant to encompass McDonald’s Regional Managers or the CEO of Barnes & Noble.
