The last time someone did anything to my face was when I was about 3. I got 6 stitches under my right eye after splitting it open on the shower rails. I don’t like people messing with my face because when the doctor stitched under my eye, he didn’t use any sort of anastethic. (That has got to be spelled wrong. Sorry.) They had to tie me to a board shaped like a gingerbread man, because I was freaking out so bad. Not the best of childhood memories.
So, I get to my doctor’s office promptly at noon. I only had to wait about 5 minutes before they called me back. Yay for expediency.
The doctor comes in and marks the spots on my face that he was going to be removing. I had two mamma-jamma sized pores on my upper lip that have been growing bigger every day. They were starting their own freakin’ government system, they were so big. I also had a “thing” on my nose. It looked like a big, huge, permanant zit. It’s been growing for the past two years. (I convinced the nurse that I was scared it was going to start taking the shape of a nose, and that soon I would have two noses if it wasn’t removed.) Then, there was the mole.
When I was a kid, I had a tiny, dark freckle on my right jaw. Somehow, it grew a mind of its own and decided that it wanted to be more sky-scraperesque. Within about a year or two, it started to look like a dark pencil eraser stuck on the side of my jaw. It was gross. And then it started to grow hair. Not a fun way to spend your teenage years, plucking hairs out of a mole.
Well, the nurse comes in, and tells me she’s going to inject the numbing agent. I have a paranoid fear of needles, so she took a surgical face mask and covered my eyes for me. (Yay for cool nurses!) When she did the mole, it kind of stung. Just like a beesting, really. Then she did my lip. As she was injecting that stuff, I could feel my lip just swelling up bigger and bigger.
Then she got to my nose. Let me tell you, I’ve broken bones, I’ve dislocated my knee, and I’ve been beaten up by a guy who was twice my size. All of that was a walk in the park compared to getting a shot in my nose. That was seriously the most painful thing I have ever gone through. I think I would rather be forced to eat a pile of fireants and have them colonize the inside of my body than to ever have a shot in my nose again.
The doc came back in, and got right to work. I couldn’t feel a thing, but I could feel him pulling on my face, this way and that. I kept my eyes closed the whole time, because I didn’t want to see anything.
The whole procedure took about an hour and a half. The mole was apparently difficult to remove, because it had a root on it that went almost all the way to my jawbone. Eew. After the surgery, the nurse showed me the little sample jars that had the removed stuff in them. Blech. Cool in a weird sort of way, but blech!
So now I sit here, looking like I took a line-drive hit right to my face. But I am now mole/hole/bump free. Yay!