I can’t believe I"m the first to say this, but…
Did you call the big one Bitey?
The boards just earned their $7.50 from me…
Now I’m hearing it to the tune of “My Bonnie”
My garage is full of possum
It looks really big to me
My garage is full of possum
“Hey! Hey!” won’t you run away from me
Hey run away!
Hey run away!
Possum run away from me
[sub]It’s not an earworm, it’s an ear possum. [/sub]
Considering that the opossum is a marsupial, perhaps your version should be called “Ode to Joey.”
I ain’t never seen a possum
Just some raccoons in the drive
I ain’t never seen a possum–
Just some raccoons on the jive
You can take your possums
And racoons, I got five
Raccoons in ma driveway
Feating on dog food, yeah
Don’t leave your Iams samples
Out in the springtime air
We got raccoons and the deer
Some wildlife to spare
It’s a raccooon party
Just outside the bedroom door
First comes Chuck then Harley
Looking to get more
No cute little possum
Do I see
But a raccoon by the countin’
One and two and three
Sorry, I’m inebriated.
Sorry, no possum song available at this time. Please check back after a pot of coffee.
Yer sitting on a Gold Mine, there Bosda
Who knew?
The fumes of the opossum are hallucinogenic. Do not place your lips on the opossum (to quote Terrafil)
So no oral then?
“Can’t right now, I’m shaving my possum.”
That’s got to be a euphemism for something; I just don’t know what.
Possum Song. Click on Possum Song to hear it.
“I’m awesome awesome!
Said the little possum!”
Cute song.
Opposum
In my garage I just saw an opposum
I was filled with fright
I ran into the night
And screamed “Opposum”
Beady eyes and that skinny naked pink tail.
I stopped dead and my face turned a white pale.
Opposum
I hope never to see
An opposum!
I had a possum on my shoulder, with a naked tail divine
That marsupial on my shoulder, who was right there all the time
(Possum, must be a possum) This garage can be so cold and heartless
Big as a beagle or fatter, it used to run so fast, no one could catch him
His long legs couldn’t find the way back home, and I laughed, I cried
I almost died, but my opossum just never knew
Funny, but just last summer, as I walked down the same path I’ve walked for years on my way to get a coffee one night, I saw an opossum waddling around the grassy area just outside the parking garage of the building next to mine. I was rather startled because opossum just aren’t the sort of things I’m used to seeing in the densely urban areas of the GTA. Heck, I didn’t even know we had opossum in this part of the country, but there is was, short grayish fur, beady black eyes and rat-tail, waddling and sniffing idly about. It was kinda cute, actually, though I understand you really don’t want to mess with one of those.
When I was a kid, we also fed feral cats who were scared to death of the possums who came to feed. We just figured the cats were smart, as the noble Opossum clearly went through the line twice when they were handing out teeth.
If the down under 'possums got a mouthfull of teeth like our 'possums do, I hope the 'possum shearers get combat pay.
T.(Who has petted one of our possums, but has run like a scalded cat from a wild one. Who also didn’t look over her shoulder to see if the possum ran as well)
My cat door is also a raccoon door. I’ve made it smaller so only medium-sized cats and adolescent raccoons can come in. When they’ve eaten enough can food, they can’t get in. Thus is the balance of nature preserved.
Down under possums got a mean streak a mile wide - they think people look like trees and climb 'em - and hold on tight at the top.
Of course, they also try to take on cars. Roadkill possums are about 1-2 per km.
The only way to get the fur off is to kill 'em - cyanide, usually. Then stick them into a machine like a clothes dryer, and spin them on high for a bit to get the fur off.
It’s worth it though … Possum fur nipple warmers (warning - depending on workplace may not be appropriate - nothing is visible but discretion may be advised). A friend of mine worked for a paper, and got to photograph models wearing these (not this picture, though) at an agricultural show. His wife was NOT amused.
Possum wool (actually a merino wool/possum fur blend) is warm and super light - stunning stuff to wear.
I actually have a possum skin complete with fur - I used to keep it out and tell UKers (successfully) that it was a cat skin 
Si
I get no kick from O-possum!
Mere Mar-su-pi-aaall,
Cannot thrill me,
at all,
So how can it be
true,
that I
get a kick,
out or yoooouuuuu?
And these glands are located where? 
Laterally adjacent to the venom ducts. Marsupials of the Southern Hemisphere have the arrangement reversed, as their venom drains in a clockwise manner due to the Coriolis effect. This is why a professional opossum venom gland extractor is an absolute necessity. For god’s sake, do NOT attempt to extract the glands yourself! Thousands of Japanese businessmen die every single day from improperly extracted opossum venom glands. Literally twelve Yemeni adolescent males have had their chromosomes violently inverted from huffing opossum fumes (a traditional rite of passage throughout much of the Arabian peninsula). This has been documented by science. One particularly shocking case history tells of an amateur gland extraction in Plant City, FL, and this was the result. Please, think of the children.
A neighbor had a cat door; he’d feed the cats outside, then they’d come inside to sleep on the bed.
One night, he felt a furry critter nestling near his head, so he reached up to pet it. Its fur felt weird. So he turned on the light–it was a baby possum! That was the end of the cat door.
I’ve been feeding a neighborhood cat. Not a feral, he’s almost ready for adoption–after I get him to the vet! I’ve learned not to leave cat food containers on the front porch overnight. Paper or cardboard will be torn apart. Lids on hard plastic containers will be unscrewed. Finally, the top of the plastic container for garden tools, etc., will be removed to look for food.
The culprits? Raccoons! Like cats with hands.