Precisely. I can’t believe she returned it to you. What she’s basically saying is “You sent me inferior cookware that will cause bacterial infections and I don’t want to die. But, here: you use it.”
I absolutely would NOT have sent a gift card. I would have taken the cookware back for a refund if I could or use it myself. You don’t like my gift? Fine. You get nothing. Unless it’s broken or appears to be a mistake on the part of the shipper or is wildly inappropriate, the response from the recipient to the giver is “thank you very much for thinking of me. How kind of you.”
What I’d want to do is purchase a copy of Lisa Lutz’ book “Isabel Spellman’s Guide to Etiquette: What is Wrong With You People?” and a card that reads “It appears that your mother has taught you dubious facts about cookware, but absolutely nothing about dealing with other people in a social situation. Please read this book.”
But that would be rude and mean so that little scenario would just play out harmlessly in my mind.
Thanks for the link. My issue with stainless steel was always that I didn’t allow the pan to get hot enough first. Good to know when you put the oil doesn’t matter, just that the pan is hot enough to begin with.
You don’t have to be obnoxious or confrontational. Her mom is not all that; neither is she. Use this as a lesson to distance yourself from foolish people. You sent a nice gift to someone and they returned it. Learn from the experience.
I do understand that both her mom and her can have positive attributes. But don’t get caught in that wave. Don’t get caught in that tit-for-tat comparison. You don’t have to figure out what is more valuable. You know what is more valuable.
My cousin told my brother that he (my cousin) was a flat-earther. I don’t suffer fools. That was all I needed to know. It’s ok to cut people out of your life. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. If someone says/does something really stupid to you, it is OK to hold them at arms distance until that person has redeemed themselves to you.
I learned that for woks at least you could tell if the pan was hot enough by dropping a drop or two of water on it, and seeing if the water beads and dances.
But I’ve never noticed a difference in the end product if I get impatient and put the oil in a not so hot pan.
Cast iron does need special care, particularly special care around water. If you throw in in the sink full of water over night to soak, which is the default for many people, it will be damaged. If you even just set it aside on the counter for the night in a pool of spilled lemon juice you didn’t wipe up it will take some damage.
It may not need the extraordinary care some people claim, but it’s necessary to tell people about the special care it does need.
First, unless she’s an industrial hygienist, this isn’t even her area of expertise. In my view that just makes her an ultracrepidarian.
Second, all the Calphalon we own is stamped NSF, which means it meets restaurant-quality standards for safety. So unless there’s some different kind of Calphalon, it’s more than safe enough for someone’s kitchen.
(and what a really nice gift that was! makes me think about doing something similar for my nephew’s wedding next year)
It’s a great thought, but with kitchen stuff it’s a good idea to check into what they already have. I have regifted three sets of knives from people who learned that I liked to cook, and got me a set as a present. Unfortunately I already had a set of better knives. So I said thank you very much, and later passed them on to other people who could use them. If they ever visit, I’ll have a story about a meth-head who ran through my open door, into my kitchen and stole their knife block off the counter.
There are also people who are the opposite and believe it is actually cast iron that is “unsanitary”. :rolleyes:
My sister was in college in the late 80s/early 90s earning her degree as a Registered Dietician, and she came home one semester all full of herself and her new knowledge and told my mother she needed to throw out all her decades-old cast iron because her professor told her it had pores in it that opened up when heated it harbored bacteria that could cause food poisoning.
Mama just looked at her sideways and said dryly “You ate yourself fat in my kitchen for 20 years and you ain’t died yet, so shut your smart mouth.”
One of my Aunts was a farmer’s wife, and I mean a real working crops and animals farm. Her husband & sons were up with the roosters and she cooked 3 solid meals a day, every day. As was the custom in 60s and 70s, she had so much to do with cooking and cleaning and other chores that she had a maid to help her, named Queen.
Queen’s cooking skills we impeccable. Her cleaning, well, not so much. After she washed one of my Uncle’s Sunday suits in the washing machine (with bleach) and ruined it, they decided it was best to let Queen do what she does best and she was given pretty much full charge of the kitchen.
Sometime in the mid-70s my Aunt got a brand new set of teflon cookware. She brought it home and left it in the kitchen and before she had a chance to show it to Queen, my Aunt came in from feeding pigs to discover that Queen had taken a brillo pad and scrubbed all the teflon out of every single pot. And she was quite proud of it, too.
Now we know teflon is crap, but back then it was fancy doings!
I’m no kind of nurse, but I lived in and around hospitals and doctors, and I think it’s an entirely reasonablething for a /nurse/ to think and believe.
Firstly, Doctors depend on nurses for infection control. Nurses were traditionally trained to be anal-retentaive about infection control because they were the ones who had to be. And because traditionally, nurses were trained to follow protocols, not to reason things out. That sounds like it’s a put down, but it was actually a division of responsiblity: the kinds of errors you make when thinking about end-points are different from the kinds of errors you make when following checklists, and the system depended on the doctors and nurses cross-checking.
Secondly, hospitals operate on the systematic reduction of risk. You don’t just eliminate the big risks: you also eliminate the easy risks. Even small risks add up, and you systematically eliminate small risks to get better outcomes. Your understanding of what is a big or small risk changes over the years, as does what you think is reasonable (they don’t boil the nurses uniforms anymore), but the principle remains the same.
Thirly, those little joints are known harbours of infection, and are known to be impossible to get surgically clean. It’s one of the reasons surgeons use disposable intruments more than th ey used to.
I use pots with screws, nuts and rivets myself. I think she gave bad advice. But if she’s been a nurse for 40 years, I cut her some slack.
What you say very correct, if you wish to preserve the seasoning. But cast iron cookware doesn’t need to be seasoned. Neither my grandma nor mother kept a seasoning on their cast iron pans. They’d cook in it, then let it soak in the sink overnight before cleaning it. They cooked that way for decades. The pans survived; I still use my grandma’s, although I keep it seasoned.
