Apparently word has been getting around the California Corrections grapevine about my grandfather. He’s 74 and most of the way through the correctional officer academy. He’s told us that his fellow cadets’ parents and grandparents ask to see how he’s doing, rooting for him to pass. At the family Christmas my aunt, who works at Avenal, said she’d overheard her colleagues talking about some really old man in the academy. She told them not to say a bad word about him, that’s her father-in-law!
So I guess the word is out. He emailed today and said that he only has 3 weeks left until graduation. Then he’ll be assigned somewhere to work, hopefully not too far from home.
He’s a firm believer in “you’re only as young as you feel” apparently.
He is going to be the scariest mother fucker in the ward. He has done it all, seen it all, and has absolutely nothing to lose. Inmates can screw with him (once) if they choose but the other inmates will smack the person upside the head for messing with God’s fallen son dooming them all to temporary fire and damnation. His brain will immediately pick up on all inmate stunts because his brain is like an encyclopedia of deviant behavior with a chronology dating back to the 1930’s. There is nothing he hasn’t seen before. The most effective counter-attack is both obvious to him and painfully easy for him to execute. His personality will make inmates instantly trust him and they won’t understand that he can transfer any one of them to death row and then a personal appointment with a casket fitter in .3 milliseconds at will until they have seen it done themselves at least three times over. Prison gangs have been a big problem up until a couple of months from now. He will explain to you that contraband weapons and illegal drugs small like pure hate to him from 100 yards away. There will be no need for a canine unit when he is on duty. Any escapees will be kept in a closet in his house until he thinks they have had enough and the police should come and pick them up for ethical reasons.
Ha! That is awesome to the tenth power! I will be expecting an update to this thread at the milestones…that is, graduation, placement, and his first run up against a felon that obviously had no idea that he’s messing with the dude in Shag’s description.
Well, graduation was yesterday. I didn’t get to be there, as I was supposed to have class but ended up staying home sick anyway. I guess he got an award and was given warm wishes by fellow cadets and instructors alike. What can I say, he’s a likeable guy; at least I like him And he’s now a record-holder. I haven’t heard yet when he has to start working.
Wow, that’s really cool. Congrats to him for proving that it’s never too late to make a new start.
They have to pass some kind of obstacle course / physical endurance thing to get accepted, right?
I think he had a physical test before going in and I know there were a bunch of obstacle courses and timed runs during the academy that he had to pass in order to continue on. I saw him practicing for one of them by running around the cul-de-sac with 25lb weights last time I was home.
He said that they wouldn’t publicize it as that would put him at risk for retaliation by former inmates and other people who reeeally don’t like correctional officers. Understandable when phrased that way I guess.
My uncle worked in the local jail and as court bailiff until well into his 90’s. He started this after he retired, and had a 25-year celebration at the courthouse.
The inmates/defendants seemed to consider him somewhat of a father figure (or grandfather, really). They were quite open in talking with him, and seemed to listen to his experience. He’d lived a long time, and run into a lot of situations. Sometimes they seemed amazed at the time span – he’d say something like “I had to deal with a boss like that, back about 1952 I think” and they would say “my parents weren’t even born in 1952! Bosses were like that back then, too? How’d you handle it?” Plus with 90+ years of life, it was real hard to bullshit him.
Sometimes the other workers used to tease him about being old, and threaten a prisoner that if they kept mouthing off they’d be put in Grandpa Johnson’s charge, and “he’ll bore you to death with his stories”. But I think most of the prisoners really were somewhat interested in his stories. Someone would be complaining that they had to write bad checks to keep their extra cable TV channels, and he’d tell about trying to make it through the Great Depression.
As someone who has watched too many old folks just give up and listen to their bones rattle and run to the doctor for every little thing, I salute your grandfather.
She told them not to say a bad word about him, that’s her father-in-law!
