Not the teacher …
Years ago for PE we were doing athletics, and a teacher was giving us these drawn out boring instructions on how to pass the baton in a relay race … when she was done, she asked “any questions or comments” and I let rip with the loudest fart you ever did hear.
I guess that, ever since that, you always ran the first lap of the relay races 
One time my high school choir teacher was yelling at us and threatening to take us into his office a “chew us out” in private if he had to.
He didn’t say “chew”, though.
HS English teacher correcting a student’s grammar: “If you don’t know the difference between a lie and a lay by now, you’d better learn before you get to college!”
Ballsy, but effective.
I must be really dense-what did he say?
Celyn-groan That’s bad. Really bad.
I am truly saddened by this type of “humor”.
I only hope that one day zoid jokes will be seen as the bigoted stereotype they really are.
I must be really dense-what did he say?
He said eat.
As in, “If I have to I’ll take you to the office and eat you out.”
Did the mathematical crap include the rather bothersome fact that the shape you describe is not, in fact, convex?
Tenebras
Hrmm… eight implies… something…
To be fair there’s a number of other battles fought which would given the crown to someone else at some point. Hastings is just the most obvious answer.
This happened to me, only it was describing projectiles in my physics class. Rather than drawing a wide arc, he made a rather “peculiar” parabola on the board, starting with one ball at the bottom, a path up to the top with another ball, then the path back down with the final ball. No-one realised until that last ball and he just looked at it for a second. Then he drew the “grass” where the ball would land.
Well, given the circunstances how can expect me to be paying attention to what the guy was saying? 
P.S. It´s concave; I know it, it was a lapsus, honest!
Well, at least it didn´t land on a bush :eek:
My history teacher, when talking about the citizens of Ancient Greece, would always talk about the farmers and their ‘huge tracts of land’…
…we had to explain it to him after eight minutes of hysterical laughter on the first time around. Now he uses it as a class joke.
'splain the funny please.
Old Monty Python joke…“She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge…tracts of land!”
Great big boos, in other words.
Boobs…big boobs!
I’ve always wanted to post that!
Of course, what made the Python line so funny is that the guy uttering the aforementioned line really was lusting after those tracts of land …
I’ll admit it. I’ve drawn a phallic figure on the board while teaching a college basic physics lab. Actually, it wasn’t that phallic, but as the possessor of the ultimate filthy mind, I said, “Oh my,” which prompted the students nearest me to realize what I had done and begin to snicker. I decided that I should get rid of the offensive drawing as quickly as possible. Since there was no eraser handy, I used my hand, and a quick up and down motion, to try and rub out the figure. Hysterics ensued for several minutes.
Our 10th Grade history teacher was a bit weird. Most of the time he was a no-nonsense character, but sometimes he would lose it and display the most bizarre sense of humour ever.
So one time we all had to get our report cards ‘commented’ by him. My friend Jeff Schneider, a good student, handed his in. He got it back the next day. It said in huge letter:
Great job this term. Far too cool to be Jewish!
I laughed to the rest of the year.
True. I don’t know the names of the others, though there was one or two in the late 1600s iirc. Then again, I’m not the history teacher 