{{{{{Broomstick and husband}}}}}
Those questions are so heartbreaking, and I feel for you, having to come up with answers. I wish the both of you presence, strength, endurance, good humor, and good health.
Oh gosh, I hope his oncologist can help. I wonder if he’s sensitive to his pain medication. I would vomit on even tiny amounts of Percoset and Vicodin and ended up on Dilaudid. You might ask whether that may be causing it. Is he on any anti-nausea medication like Zofran( generic Ondansetron)? I needed it fairly early in my cancer’s progression because the cancer itself was making me sick.
ETA: If he’s taking his medication as he should, it needs to be adjusted. There’s no reason for him to be in that much pain. I was hauling around a gigantic tumor in my gut and while I wasn’t comfortable, when my pain meds were right I wasn’t in pain. Hugs.
That pretty much says it for me too. I always enjoy your posts (well, not this one), and can only wish both of you the best.
Just to add to the discussion of pain medications, some of them cause constipation which can be another source of pain. Keeping him hydrated may not be enough to alleviate this problem. It may require stool softners or dietary changes.
Well, about that medication… he’s conflicted between not taking narcotics, and not wanting to be in pain. He had to learn the hard way that he really did need to take the maintenance dose on a schedule and not when he felt bad.
He had more bleeding between midnight and dawn, and more pain. He was VERY coherent pre-dawn, and very coherently complaining about pain. He had hit some of the markers for “take him to the hospital” so that’s what I did.
In an ice storm. Because, of course, we can’t possibly do this in nice weather. :rolleyes:
He does not have a bowel obstruction. He probably has another UTI. He was bleeding either into or from his bladder sufficiently that the docs are now weighing whether or not to give him a transfusion. On the upside - he was not dehydrated. He did have a sodium deficiency, even though among yesterday’s fluids was a little over a quart of V8, which is definitely not a low sodium beverage. His kidneys are churning out the urine which I’m told is a good sign.
I’m actually kind of relieved he’s in the hospital for now, because it became a situation where home management was going to be problematic at best.
We are STILL waiting for approval from the insurance company for a PET scan to stage this cancer so we can decide what to do next.
I am exhausted and upset.
…AND just found out the insurance deemed the PET scan for purposes of staging the cancer and determining the course of treatment to be “unnecessary”.
They also refused to pay for his morphine, which I covered out of pocket (apparently they didn’t like that particular formulation but could be troubled to MENTION that for over a week. Then, after the scrip was filled, they decided not to reimburse me because I was supposed to be psychic or something). I can afford morphine. I can’t afford an out-of-pocket PET scan.
The doc’s office said she’d call and try to get them to change their minds about the PET scan, apparently she has had some success with that in the past.
Non-US Dopers - THIS is why even people with insurance go bankrupt and/or get GoFundMe sites.
Is he covered under the insurance you get through your work? If so, might it be worth raising the issue through them?
{{{All the hugs}}}
My son is disabled (so I get the caregiver exhaustion). I am disabled (so I get the patient/insurance/pain/hell).
Start a GoFundMe (after talking to the Mods of course). We know you’re tight on cash. We’ll help as we can.
Let the nurse handle the petition to the insurance company. I hate that we have to go through this bullshit. Hopefully she’ll get it through.
I hope your husband has learned his lesson on the meds.
Are you able to get your FMLA leave approved or was that for him?
Have you checked out the group that Maggie recommended? Maybe they’ll have some good suggestions on how to deal with the insurance crap too.
{{{All the hugs round 2}}}
Our insurance is not through work, it’s through the state of Indiana and unconnected to my employment.
I am certainly considering this, but I have decided that tonight is not a night to make any financial decisions. I have slept poorly for days, my day started with navigating an ice storm with someone seriously ill, I had 8 hours of answering questions and worrying about the husband, and THEN I had chores to do I didn’t get to yesterday or today (I skipped the grocery store - we still have food in the house and I’m just too tired to deal with walking on ice anymore). I am eating, surfing the web, maybe watching TV, and trying to chill out and get some sleep before getting back on the treadmill tomorrow.
Actually, it’s the doctor, not that it matters from my viewpoint. Let’s just say I’m letting those with experience take the lead rather than calling the insurance up and launching a scathing, incandescent rant.
Yep.
He’s unemployed, that was for me. Of course, I’ve been told that it could be 2 weeks after I submit paperwork that a decision will be made. If it came down to it, I’d choose my husband over my job but I’m hoping that won’t happen.
Not yet - I’ve got an amazingly long list of stuff to tackle.
Thanks.
If I understand PET scans correctly they involve the use of radioactive dye which concentrates around cancer cells making them more visible. What alternative test(s) is the insurance company advocating? They may want a stepping stone of tests leading up to the more expensive PET scan but your doctor can make the case it’s cost effective to go straight to the PET scan.
He’s already had CAT scans. He’s had ultrasound and biopsies. The only other one I can think of is an MRI, which he can’t have because of how much metal is in his right leg which underwent reconstructive surgery decades ago. And in any case, these days PET scans are apparently not that much more expensive than either MRI’s or CAT scans.
I’ll let the oncologist have a go at the insurance company before I explode over it, but I am getting extremely frustrated at they delays. If we’re going to do some actual treatment don’t we need to get started on this? Given how fast this has progressed I don’t want to wait weeks to get information and come up with a gameplan.
(Strictly speaking, it’s not dye, it’s a radioactive form of glucose (flourodeoxyglucose, usually) which, being glucose, is sucked up and utilized by metabolically active tissues. Cancer, being extremely active, lights up like a Christmas tree from what I understand. For example, this group of images has helpful arrows showing metastasis but really, the cancer shows up pretty well even to a layperson. NOTE: not my spouse’s images, just a random example I pulled off the internet.)
That should help make your case if he can’t have an MRI.
People in the medical field learn the trigger words that get stuff done. I found this out recently with a major surgery. I agree, this is time sensitive. It should be done this week.
Yes, I used “dye” for want of a better word. It certainly sounds to me like it’s THE test to find out where the cancer is and how best to go forward.
I hope they’re able to sort this out quickly so you don’t have to battle this yourself. Your state does have an insurance oversight group you can turn to if push comes to shove.
We all hope you get this resolved quickly and are pulling for you.
Got five hours of sleep, then woke up and my stupid brain wouldn’t go back to sleep, it kept worrying on Stuff. So I’m up and doing things, and at least I should be able to wrangle some time with the husband before going off the work.
Feeling very frustrated, angry, sad, and overwhelmed.
Normally I’d go riding to the rescue regarding the insurance but it has been clear to me from day one that people like the nurse advocate and the doctor are far more experienced with these problems than I am.
The house is so very quiet, so empty. I might move the bird cage into the bedroom with me at night, just to have something other than myself and silence in the bedroom.
Also, something died in the furnace room. I mean that literally, there’s stench of decay in there. Probably a mouse or something. I just couldn’t deal with hunting for it last night. It feels like the shit just keeps coming.
{{Broomstick}}
We’re all here for you.
QUOTE=Broomstick;19917066]Also, something died in the furnace room. I mean that literally, there’s stench of decay in there. Probably a mouse or something. I just couldn’t deal with hunting for it last night. It feels like the shit just keeps coming.
[/QUOTE]
I hate that feeling. You are not alone. (I just found a mouse in the trap in the garage this morning. Thought of you. 
Also, I left it there. Later. I will deal with it later.)
Hang tight for FMLA. It’s worth it.
Do you live in an area where you can get your groceries delivered through Safeway or something? I can’t remember if there’s a charge for it, but you might check it out. Save you another “thing to do.”
Keep us posted on the GoFundMe. If it comes down to just one more thing to do, I’m sure someone here would even work with you to get it started.
{{{hugs}}}
At least your husband is in the right place for treatment, and is probably feeling better already. I dealt with a horrible UTI while I was recovering in addition to everything else so I have great sympathy for him. It was unbelievably painful, and made me so nauseated I couldn’t eat. It’s actually a GOOD thing in your husband’s case. It’s easily fixable! His cancer isn’t what’s causing all that pain, so hopefully, he’ll be much more comfortable and things will be more manageable when the UTI is cleared up.
I agree on letting the medical people deal with the insurance. My surgery and chemo were considered experimental but somehow the people in the doctor’s office got insurance to cover it. Take a break from even thinking about that and let them work their magic.
Please do look into a Gofundme when you can.
It’s actually quite common for a bird or squirrel to fall down a chimney flue. If the flue is active then the animal is subjected to carbon monoxide gasses. I’ve had a bird make it all the way into my basement during the summer when the furnace was off and I’ve had squirrels get into my fireplace. I’ve since put covers on my chimney to keep them out.
If you’re renting then let your landlord deal with it.
I’d love to, but —
My landlord severely injured his arm. Know that tendon that connects the lower end of the bicep to the forearm? He ripped it entirely out of the bone. It’s been repaired, but he’s down to one working arm so he’s a bit limited these days. He could help with animal removal, but getting up on a ladder while carrying tools and carrying out a repair like that isn’t likely at this point even if the roof wasn’t covered in ice. He’s also getting annoyed at people saying “at least it wasn’t your right arm” because he’s a lefty.
Not that he hasn’t helped out - he’s run errands for me, on one occasion took care of the laundry, and sat with the husband when I didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone. Unfortunately, right now building repairs tend to be me on a ladder with the landlord shouting directions from the ground. He did hire someone with four working limbs to deal with snow.
Anyhow, update on the star of the show: the husband has been having visible blood in his urine about every three days. When he visited his urologist on Tuesday he was having another episode of this and the urologist, anticipating it would clear up as in the past, said that if the visible blood didn’t stop in 24 hours to go to the ER.
24 hours later, he’s delirious from pain and still bleeding, so I take him to the ER. Of course, we’re also having a freakin’ ice storm because it just wouldn’t be right to have one crisis at a time. He’s not dehydrated, but he is anemic and salt deficient (?!? - good thing we managed to get that quart of V8 juice into him!). Also turns out his kidneys and the tubes from them to the bladder were swelling up because the tubes were blocked. Well, that does explain a lot of the pain.
So, he had a procedure to drain the fluid, he’s in a lot less pain, and much more coherent. Had an actual conversation with him last night after work.
But, meanwhile, my boss at work has been a total bitch, said I wasn’t sufficiently focused on work yesterday (ya think?), was really irritated at my calling off work yesterday (to, you know, take my husband to the ER before he bled to death, or at least bled enough to require a transfusion, and, oh yeah, the whole yelling and writhing in pain thing) and threatened to write me up on performance issues. I dropped an e-mail to her boss saying I needed to talk to her. Yeah, I’m sorry bitch I’m not performing at 100% but I think the matters of actual life and death are more important than my retail drone job.
Oh - and my Family and Medical Leave has been approved, retroactive to December 26. Hey, boss, don’t like that I called off work yesterday due to my spouse’s illness? Guess what - fuck you.
Yeah, just a little annoyed.
Someday that boos will be where you are, just keep thinking that.
If you end up needing an employment lawyer, I should totally be able to hook you up with one of those. The firm where I work also does labor and employment law; FMLA is Federal, of course, but you’d be better off with someone licensed in Indiana so they know the state laws as well. And IANAL, let alone an employment lawyer, but I can’t think of a more clear-cut case of FMLA coverage eligibility unless you were the one with the cancer.
ETA; be careful with the asshole boss. I once had a co-worker who got fired because the boss lied about whether she said she was willing to come back to work after treatment for breast cancer and associated weakness and anemia from tamoxifen. Contested her unemployment benefits, too. My friend didn’t get her job back, but at least she got the unemployment benefits. Sometimes people really suck.