I’d like to hire out some stuff, but hired people have to be paid. I *am *having someone else do the laundry. The landlord came by yesterday and took care of a few maintenance things in the apartment while I was at work, which was helpful.
They’ve been tinkering with the pain meds schedule. AND husband is finally convinced that yes, he needs to take things on schedule, he had to screw that up twice before he got the message. The kidney procedure also helped a lot with the pain,.
We’re starting chemo without the PET scan - waiting for approval is only going to allow the cancer to keep growing. So, we’re taking a chance we’re already past the point of chemo helping, but the cancer docs feels that based on the imaging they already have, plus his symptoms/lack of symptoms it hasn’t spread beyond the pelvis (yet). She admits she could be wrong, early stage spread may not have any overt symptoms. But, again, if we keep waiting the odds of this sliding in unsalvageable go up.
We’ve already had the discussion. I’m working on getting everything in writing but he has to be clear-headed enough to understand what’s going on and sign his name. I’m confident I know what he wants, but if it’s in writing then everyone will know it.
Yes, well, I am hoping to start some sort of fund-raising if we get to that point…
Right now, I’m trying to be optimistic about the potential for the chemo to do some good. After all the throwing up and hair loss parts of it. Maybe by then we’ll have approval for a PET scan…
If you find someone to do some of your tasks (clean house for instance) I know there are several of us here who would be more than glad to fund that. And having us pay a third party should in no way be income for you. Just saying.
That’s a very generous offer and I certainly do have that notion in mind. As I said, I asked an old family friend who is a CPA to look into the rules regarding things like crowd-funding so what starts as a good deed doesn’t result in problems for anyone. If you don’t think that can happen google on terms like “crowd funding income tax problems”.
I don’t have to be at work until 10 am this morning, so I should be able to do some dishes, take care of the low tire on the car, get some laundry together so I can drop it off on my way in to work, and maybe buy a subway sub for lunch along the way, too.
Not sure when they’re planning to send him home. I’ll have to ask about that. Along with a half dozen other questions. I seem to be making a habit of leaving the nurse advocate a daily voice mail with one to a half dozen questions but that’s what she gets for being so darn helpful!
Called my husband after I got off work: “How you feeling, honey?”
::: in a growl ::: “I feel like shit.”
Of course he did, today was his first chemotherapy treatment.
The doc said she was surprised at how healthy his kidneys were, given his medical history of urinary tract infections, kidney infections, and being a late-50’s diabetic. Guess keeping that blood sugar under strict control really paid off, huh? The upshot is that she felt he’d have no problems tolerating the strongest effective dose. Which sounds a lot like “You’re really healthy, we can poison you more!”, but not really.
He’s still in the hospital while they monitor him. The doc added anti-nausea meds to the mix and husband said that while he felt like shit and he had some stomach cramping he didn’t have any actual nausea or vomiting and was able to eat a little bit of his dinner.
Read the insurance company statement on charges for December. $28,000. That was for before we knew he had cancer, that’s between hospitalization and diagnosis. Wonder want January’s is going to look like?
Glad treatment is under way. It’s got to feel better to both of you that something is being done, something is moving forward. I hope his chemo doesn’t make him any worse than it is right now.
…here’s your chance
It’s a research project. Sure, I could do it myself, but I’m already overloaded.
Here’s the problem: it’s becoming obvious that between my husband’s health problems and my need for actual sleep in order to keep working and keep everything else together we’re going to need more than one bed in this house. But we don’t have a spare.
The situation right now: we have a broken-down couch we’ve talked about replacing but haven’t. I figure I can jettison the couch and get something couch-like that will double as a second place to sleep.
**The research project: ** I need viable alternatives to the present couch. Not really fond of the traditional “sleeper sofa”, they never seem comfortable as beds, in fact, they are usually more comfortable to keep as a couch and sleep on that, so think of creative alternatives. Fold up dorm furniture, futon stuff, whatever. I do have a futon frame that folds up as a couch, but the futon died 25 or more years ago.
The price needs to be under $1,000, preferably under $500.
I live in Lake County, Indiana so any source in that county or adjacent counties would work. Having it delivered might be problematic (hardly anyone home these days) but might be managed. I would have to have the power to dictate the day of delivery as getting time off work for anything BUT something very directly related to the husband’s illness is near impossible right now and no, getting a couch/second bed doesn’t count (more’s the pity).
No Goodwill or second-hand stuff - I can not risk inheriting someone else’s bedbugs or other problem with the husband so sick.
My sister is sending money to cover the cost.
Any takers for this? It would help.
Daybed? I found some on line but most of them come without the mattress (twin). I don’t know what stores are local to you but Ikea sells on Amazon as well as in their stores. The delivery issue is more difficult but if you found a local store maybe that would help. A couple of pictures of the kinds of things available here and here. Don’t know if this is any help. Probably this would be a more comfortable bed/less comfortable couch, vs. the sleeper sofa which is a more comfy couch/uncomfortable bed.
Hey, I knew about those but it didn’t occur to me - that might work!
Keep the suggestions coming.
I’m with KayT, sofa beds, in my experience are both uncomfortable beds AND uncomfortable sofas! Get an actual bed and dress it as a sofa with a cover and lots of cushions, instead.
Because when you need it, it will actually serve you well as a comfortable bed. And that’s THE most important thing, in my mind.
Good Luck! Sending healing thoughts your way!
I find this true of a lot of couches. I have a sofa bed in the living room and it’s the most comfortable couch I’ve ever had. It’s all in the cushions. The bed is standard issue but I would throw my camping air mattress on it if I was using the fold out bed. It’s cheap and has a built in compressor.
I’ve got a futon in my office that is a more comfortable bed but doesn’t begin to compare to the couch cushions.
One alternative is a cheap futon with a 3" gel top. That would be $200 for the futon and $100-$150 for the gel top.
So get yourself another futon. I have something similar and the thing lives as a couch with the mattress folded in half. As a bonus, the kids loved unfolding the mattress and sliding down it.
Otherwise I concur with getting yourself a single bed and getting a padded back for it so you can use it as a sofa.
Tons of affordable options at Ikea (we were just there last night). If you have an appropriate vehicle, you can take it home that day. And some of the things classified as sleeper sofas on their website are more like futons than the “traditional sofa with pullout bed” type (scroll down); maybe they’d be more comfortable. We were just there last night (for other reasons); lots of options. For that matter, some of the Ikea mattresses are more like futons; maybe they would work with your existing frame.
They aren’t the cheapest things in the world, but the Kvik sofas from Ikea are extremely comfortable. The back
Cushions can be removed, leaving lots of room to sleep. I used one as a bed for a couple of years.
Something else to consider: you could always get a sofa bed and an additional mattress.
If the futon base is still functional then a futon mattress would be the cheapest solution. IF it isn’t as comfortable as you would like then add a 3" gel foam topper. That’s a $200 to $300 option. The Gel foam will retain heat so it’s great in the Winter but I suspect will be a little warmer in the Summer.
Damn, Broomstick, I haven’t been here in a while and just read your thread. Hugs to you. I’m in NE Indiana so let me know if there’s anything I can do from this side of the state!
Here’s another daybed. A little less mass-produced in feel, and you can use any mattress.
That link takes me to a candle, Eva Luna. No place to put a mattress.
That’s bizarre - I didn’t even look at candles! Let’s try that again.
ETA; nope, that link still doesn’t work, and I don’t know how else to make it work. I swear, if you look on the World Market site under bedroom furniture/chaises and daybeds, there is something called “Indonesian daybed frame” on sale for $249.00.