I just saw this thread. Holy cow, I wouldn’t have thought that car looked survivable.
So glad to hear hubby will recover, and that folks are taking care of you all. One thing I heard a doctor say once, to those like you, get all the sleep you can, you want to keep up your own health for his sake.
And I once saw a firetruck have to slow down and almost stop because a driver, having the green light, decided he still had the right of way and ignore the sirens and flashing light. I hoped it was his house burning down.
Yep, I’m operating on military rules right now : never miss a chance to Sleep, Shower, or [defecate]. Mama-San got back to town around 4:30, we ate supper together, bought a few supplies for the hotel and the hospital, and I came back to rest. She is taking the evening, ill get the girls bedded down, and then we can trade off. My next mission is to teach her to say what SHE wants or needs, instead of politely changing plans because she thinks someone else prefers something else. That’s so freaking annoying! If you haven’t eaten yet, say so, instead of offering 19 options that you think might make me happier. I’ll be happier if she doesn’t make herself sick again and knock herself out of commission for several days, for Pete’s sake!
And yes, I should be sleeping now, but I can’t. At least I’m relaxing and will shower before going back.
Lacunae Matata best of wishes to your husband and your family, but I have to say that you seem to be doing much better than I would be! Take advantage of other people as much as possible and get some sleep now that it has slowed down.
VERY glad to hear he’s ok! It sounds like you have a wonderful family and your husband has some awesome coworkers. Don’t forget to take care of yourself – you have lots of help at your disposal, it’s ok to use it!
Disheaval, I’m actually handling things better now than a few days ago. I held up at first, lost it a few times on day 2, and then started gaining a little perspective. A couple of nights ago, Tony was grumpy as hell, and knowing that his ire was really not directed at me, I figured that was a good moment to head downstairs and outdoors for a breath of fresh air, while two nurses and the respiratory tech were in the room. I got outdoors, and there was a man who wanted to talk. Two nights earlier, his wife had given birth to, and then lost, their twin boys. He was struggling so - trying to be strong for her, but still needing to grieve himself. Suddenly? My night didn’t seem so bad. Another time, it was a little 18-year-old girl, trying to juggle work at McDonald’s, senior year of high school, and being the only person in her large family who would/could travel 100 miles each way to be with her grandmother, dealing with chemo and complications. Yeah, I don’t love this situation, but how much worse could it be?
It’s funny, though: Apparently, I look like a very helpful and understanding person. People ask for directions. They confide in me. I don’t think I’ve once visited the coffee machine or the cafeteria or made the trek outdoors without hearing someone’s story. I guess I should consider becoming a therapist when I grow up…
Christ, people are stupid. I can’t tell you how often I see people dropping down to 20mph, in a 55mph zone, in response to a siren… on an emergency vehicle going in the opposite direction on a divided highway. Do they not cover this shit in driving school?
Woohoo! MRI tonight. It’s hard to maintain the godlike pronouncement that its just bruising when there’s a rainbow of bruises everywhere else, but none where the pain is. Results in the AM.
Others are right; take care of yourself as much as you take care of Tony. You need both your physical and emotional strength. Godspeed for his recovery!
Bolded because this is just how I felt when I read your OP. That must have been so scarey. Uniforms always mean bad news.
I’m sending prayers for a routine recovery. No excitement, no heart stopping drama, just more of a Darnit, what can I do to help with the itching problems sort of recovery.
I do have to confess that if I had seen that pic of the car before knowing that he was alive, I would have probably assumed the worse. You and your man were so lucky.
Things are better today - MRI showed a minor rotator cuff tear, non-surgical for now. We’re now looking at maybe another day or two at the hospital, then maybe a couple of days at a rehab facility to get a little more mobile, and then HOME. Woo.
MIL still won’t come out and say what she wants or needs. She is on the night shift tonight, and I’ll take the morning, at her insistence. Which is fine. But her first reason was that she didn’t want me to bring the girls out in this weather (cool and drizzly, nothing to get weird about.) Then she didn’t want to drive in this weather. (Cool and drizzly?) When I offered work-arounds for both of those objections, she finally admitted her real reason - Tony’s biological father has decided to visit tomorrow. She doesn’t want to deal with him. He makes her uncomfortable. Which is fine. I understand and don’t blame her a bit. I don’t mind trading shifts, but I wish I didn’t have to guess at why.
Part of me kind of hopes that bio-dad shows his butt tomorrow. My inner redneck bitch is kind of itching to come out, especially after he had the nerve to get snippy with me Sunday about cutting his phone calls short of Friday and Saturday. Sorry, dude, but you’re way down my list of priorities. Besides, you haven’t had the time for your son in damn near 44 years. How dare you call me out on not having time for your sorry stupid drunken ass. But, I’ll be as nice as I’m able…
Home in a matter of days is *really *good news. It sounds like he is making good progress.
Sorry for bio-dad drama. Maybe MIL can excuse herself to “get the house ready” or “bake thank-you cookies for the responders” or simply be sleeping during the day shift. There are sooooo many good excuses available and there is no need for her to get her blood pressure up over having to interact with bio-dad.
Now take care of yourself too. His friends and coworkers really are showing up to help… they want to help. Don’t be afraid to ask for specific things as needed. It will make them feel like they can do something to make things better.
Our boy had a crappy day. I watched my big strong husband cry from unrelenting pain for hours. Percocet, flexoril, fentanyl, plus valium didn’t touch it. Around 2:30, two doctors came in to discharge him straight home… Tony, the nurse, and I were arguing that there was no way in hell he could go home in his state, but they insisted. Phone calls ensued, but Tony “won” the argument by fainting. Twice.
Many tests later, the likeliest explanation is incipient pneumonia - elevated white blood cell count, gunky lower lungs on x-ray. Secondary may be a reaction to valium. That bought a 24-hour reprieve, at minimum - more likely Sunday or Monday discharge. At least that gives us time to get his medical equipment delivered at home. We’ll also have some home health care help for a week or two, and arranged transport for appointments.
And I didn’t slap any doctors. Nor bio dad. All of whom deserved it.
