My life and "It's a wonderful life"

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

In the old movie It’s a Wonderful Life a guy considers suicide in order to get money from his life insurance policy. I’ve thought of that idea before but didn’t get approved probably due to my bipolar disorder. (Apparently about 1/3 of those with it commit suicide) Recently I came across a policy that costs $40 per fortnight for $1,000,000 of cover and you only have to wait 13 months before suicide is covered. Today I filled out an online application and disclosed my mental illness and how I’ve contemplated suicide more than once. The site said that I only qualified for $500,000 of cover for $30 per fortnight. And it wouldn’t ever pay for suicide.

A bit later on my wife saw me on the computer and kept saying “what’s wrong?” and I kept on saying “nothing”. She kept on asking and asking. I eventually talked about life insurance and she didn’t think that was bad - until I explained that I was thinking of killing myself to get it. She said that she was suspecting that I was cheating on her with her friend. She’s said that a couple of times.

A bit later she said that she’d rather have a kid that lots of money. And that she doesn’t want me to kill myself and that she’d miss me. I don’t want to have a baby.

I’m going to watch that movie again - perhaps with my wife.

BTW I’m no longer considering killing myself.

2

My wife asked me if I’m taking my meds because I seemed “on edge”. I said I am because I am.

3

You are taking your meds, or you are on edge?

4

Both

5

Man, these threads never get old.

6

Yesterday evening my wife was mowing the lawn and the lawnmower kept stalling out. She couldn’t get it to keep running.

Well, I’m not sure what had gotten into the gas, but the carburator was gummed up and there was sludge in the carburator cup. A couple of shots of carb cleaner and it was as good as new.

She prefers to cut the grass because she is concerned about my coordination issues since my spinal surgery a few years back. (Also I think she believes I do not pay enough attention to the edges - I admit to running over some of the pachysandra at times when I try to trim in close.)

I usually cut the backyard, since it is smaller than the front yard but it does have a bit of a slope. I do have more strength to wrestle the lawnmover around than she does, even is she has more endurance than I have.

After all that we set up our zero-gee chairs and had some lemonade.

7

Then there’s the murder-suicide pact. Hint: never be the one that goes first.

JC: 80 a month sounds too cheap for a million dollar policy. Is that Aus?

8

And don’t forget the, suicide, but make it look like an accident pact, and get double coverage.

9

Cruise ships are good for this sort of thing.

10

At this very minute? Because earlier on in the day you said you had filled out an on-line application for life insurance. You had that conversation with your wife about wanting to kill yourself, and it seemed very recent. How often does it come up again that you want to do this?

That one-third figure of those with bi-polar if meant for those that actually commit suicide seems a bit high to me. I can see the one-third figure being used of bi-polar people that have maybe thought about it, but just didn’t go any further with it than that. And I can maybe see that figure of those that tried to kill themselves but didn’t succeed because often it’s a cry for help, without actually truly wanting to do so. But I honestly don’t know much about the matter, and could be wrong.

11

Is it Jimmy Stewart Week on TNT? Because maybe you could watch Cheyenne Social Club next, open up your own old west whorehouse and perhaps your cinema initiated thoughts on suicide would magically transition to that of getting yourself and your town inhabitants regular access to a good ol’ cowboy style poke.

12

And then, perhaps Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

For some reason, I think JohnClay would be really good at filibustering.

13

It is high; generally accepted rates are between 15-20% successes, 40-50% attempts. That is, of course, for the typical definition of bipolar.

14

You are taking a couple of shots of carb cleaner or you are on the edge?

15

This post is really funny if you think of the whole thing as a euphemism for sex.

16

I feel bad for your wife, if she loves you do you really think cold hard cash is going to make her happy?

17

I didn’t think through it very thoroughly - I guess I was thinking she could find another lover after all she has had many relationships in the past. And she could maybe have the baby she lately has been saying she wants.

18

Have you guys ever had a pet?

19

I don’t think we’re allowed to in our rental house. But sometimes we housesit for her mother and have to look after the dog. I like cats a lot better than dogs though.

20

I just finished watching the movie. It goes for more than 2 hours and is quite action-packed. I was interested to see that Bert the policeman and Ernie the taxi driver were talking together for a while. Maybe it’s just a coincidence that those are the names of two house mates on Sesame Street. I got a bit teary near the end.