Okay, it’s the near future: my evil hordes of zombies, robots, and zombie robot (I value diversity in the workplace) minions have begun my conquest of Europe, and I’ve just swept through central Italy and seized Rome in my dread grasp.
Since I’m a pretty thorough heathen, my question is: what’d be good to pillage from the Vatican, specifically? There’s the Sistine Chapel ceiling, for one, so I was going to have that torn out and shipped to the Imperial Museum.*
Are there any other good suggestions for plunder, before I raze the whole place, then raise the corpses buried therein as zombie cavalrymen?
*Once it’s built. Well, and once I raise a new landmass in the Atlantic to build it on. Admittedly, this might take awhile.
There’s all the artwork in the museum hallways and rooms just prior to the Sistine Chapel. (Bring a big truck).
Me? I’m going for the Vatican porno collection (or is that a myth). I wouldn’t mind having a collection of lewd and obscene paintings from all around the world.
I want the original, uncensored versions of the Gospels–all of them, not just the four they like–and all the letters between early church leaders that are too incriminating to have been included in the New Testament.
Oh, and besides the famous porn collection I understand they have enough ‘devices’ to fill a wing of your museum. That would be worth seeing.
The porn collection is a myth, according to Cecil himself.
However, beyond the metric fuckton of priceless art held in the vaults or exposed in the various museums, which is kind of boring and derivative (honestly, how many different depictions of the Deposition of Christ do you really need ?), there’s an imperial fuckton of gold leaf, gold cups, jewelry, urns, reliquaries etc… to melt down. Just wringing the Pope’s full regalia would probably yield a bullion or two.
The Pope’s menorah. For that matter, he’s probably got the rest of the Temple artifacts hidden in the basement somewhere (except the Ark, Indiana Jones has that).
Hell, I thought it was me at first. Of course, I would have begun by pointing out that I had resurrected Princess Diana from the dead and restored her to the fullness of her 20something hotness so she might be my bride.
If it’ll make you feel better, I can always rain flaming hamsters on Cardiff.
Of course, I would have begun by pointing out that I had resurrected Princess Diana from the dead and restored her to the fullness of her 20something hotness so she might be my bride.
