My mutant mouth

My mouth has caused me a lot of trouble. I wish it was because of scathing remarks that cut like a laser through ignorant individuals I have encountered, but that would be a lie. (A very appealing lie, but a fib none the less.) Here is a tale of the real source of my misfortune:

I was very overdue for a visit to the dentist. Back in December, I broke down and made an appointment with a local DMD that took our insurance. In the time between that phone call and the actual appointment, I discovered that I was pregnant. Since x-ray’s where out of the question, the dental hygienist took a good loooooong look in my mouth.

“You have a bump here.” She said, lightly tapping the roof of my mouth. “And one here.” Pushing on the right side of my lower jaw. “And another one here.” Repeating her action on the left side.

Once she extracted herself from my face, I responded. “I have an odd jaw structure, in addition to the bumps, the bottom mandible is a little shorter than the top. My bottom teeth once rested on the roof of my mouth, but a talented orthodontist was able to correct that. I also have a baby tooth, no adult tooth grew in to push it out.” Since having braces, the only noticeable sign of all this maxilla madness is a slight double chin that will never go away. :frowning: Before the braces, I also had a startling overbite. :frowning: :frowning:

“The orthodontia must have been painful for you as a child.”

“I never saw a dentist as a kid. Once I got dental insurance, I started working on all this.”

The hygienists cringed. I guess the thought of adult teeth being wrenched into place was painful for her. Hell, going through it was no picnic. *Tattoos are painful? Hell, mine hurt less than an adjustment. Piecing? Nothing compared to a visit to the ortho. *

“Did you know that these (a heavy pause) characteristics could be passed on to your children?”

"Sigh I figured as much. Let’s hope they get dealt a better hand than what I got. If not, we’ll start saving up and make some doctor very happy.”

WTF! Nothin’ like taking a shit on your cornflakes!

That mental image in completely innappropriate! Retract that statement at once! :smiley:

Yeah, I wasn’t happy with her comment. I’ve had a couple of dentists and an othodontist go, “God lord, you’ve got a real mess in there!” so I guess all of this is shocking (or I have had some unprofessional care providers.)

Niiiiice :rolleyes: (on your behalf, at the hygienist’s tactless remark). Ya shoulda bit her, and told her that Mutant Mouth Syndrome could be transmitted by saliva like werewolfism ::: evil cackle :::

For what it’s worth, it’s equally likely your kid will have MouseSpouse’s mouth (which is presumably less mutant than yours). Is MMS a dominant trait? :slight_smile:

Also equally likely, if the Mouseling does have orthodontic issues, earlier treatment than you got may be faster, and cosmetically more pleasing, than your own experience was (erm, taking your word that the results weren’t as cosmetically successful as you’d have liked them to be).

I sincerely hope that the Mouseling get’s his/her teeth from Mouse_Spouse. My nephew got hit with this bullet, poor kid. :frowning:

The orthodontist I used did a great job in making my overbite less pronounced. The only other option is surgery, which is considered cosmetic by my insurance. While I’m sure that there are people who would like to see my jaw broken and wired shut, its a treatment-of last resort for me.