My mouth has caused me a lot of trouble. I wish it was because of scathing remarks that cut like a laser through ignorant individuals I have encountered, but that would be a lie. (A very appealing lie, but a fib none the less.) Here is a tale of the real source of my misfortune:
I was very overdue for a visit to the dentist. Back in December, I broke down and made an appointment with a local DMD that took our insurance. In the time between that phone call and the actual appointment, I discovered that I was pregnant. Since x-ray’s where out of the question, the dental hygienist took a good loooooong look in my mouth.
“You have a bump here.” She said, lightly tapping the roof of my mouth. “And one here.” Pushing on the right side of my lower jaw. “And another one here.” Repeating her action on the left side.
Once she extracted herself from my face, I responded. “I have an odd jaw structure, in addition to the bumps, the bottom mandible is a little shorter than the top. My bottom teeth once rested on the roof of my mouth, but a talented orthodontist was able to correct that. I also have a baby tooth, no adult tooth grew in to push it out.” Since having braces, the only noticeable sign of all this maxilla madness is a slight double chin that will never go away. Before the braces, I also had a startling overbite.
“The orthodontia must have been painful for you as a child.”
“I never saw a dentist as a kid. Once I got dental insurance, I started working on all this.”
The hygienists cringed. I guess the thought of adult teeth being wrenched into place was painful for her. Hell, going through it was no picnic. *Tattoos are painful? Hell, mine hurt less than an adjustment. Piecing? Nothing compared to a visit to the ortho. *
“Did you know that these (a heavy pause) characteristics could be passed on to your children?”
"Sigh I figured as much. Let’s hope they get dealt a better hand than what I got. If not, we’ll start saving up and make some doctor very happy.”