Minding my own business on Sunday, when the hiccups attacked me. Well, they’ll pass eventually, I thought. But no. And they’ve grown into chest-heaving head-tossing hiccups.
Am I having a seizure or am I possessed by Satan?
I try everything:
Sip water. - No, that theory is wrong.
Scare myself. - Well, I watch the K.C. Chiefs defensive backfield in action. :eek: As scary as that is, no effect.
Hold breath. - Nope.
I’m beginning to think in terms of Emergency Room after about an hour of this. So I head for the PC and do a Google search on hiccup cures. Someone suggests inhale and exhale slowly into a paper bag 5 times .
It works. Instantly.
So, if I can just save one life, try this the next time you get hiccups.
Isn’t Google great!? Congratulations on your narrow escape from the hiccupping jaws of death.
Just in case it happens again, though, some other cures I’ve heard about:
Swallowing a spoonful of sugar. (“Mary Poppins” soundtrack in the background is optional.)
Engaging in a long, passionate kiss. (Cooperation of an amenable partner is not optional.)
Drinking water upside down. (This one works for me. It upsets my dog to see me do it, but he eventually gets over it after breathing slowly into a paper bag 5 times.)
Take a lime wedge and squeeze 1/2 the juice out of it. Soak the wedge in bitters. Bite into the wedge and then swallow the squeezin’s. Works like a charm. Luckily, I usually get the hiccups at a bar, so these things are on hand.
Gah, what is it with hiccups? Seems, just from my own experience, they only come in two flavors.
Mild disturbance
Category 5 hurricane
And of course, I too am a category 5. Damn. Sometimes I’ll suffer an attack, and just cancel my plans for the day. I just know every conversation I have is gonna take two or three times longer than it should, and about 90% of the people I talk to today are gonna either offer me useless suggestions (nothing but time ever seems to work for me, as in, eventually, they just go away) or laugh at my feeble attempts at speech, or both.
[sub]And after about 20 minutes, they hurt, too.[/sub]
I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time I had hiccups. Not to gloat or anything. However, just in case it happens tonight (my luck), I will keep these tips in mind.
I have the absolute grossest hiccups in the history of mankind. I get them all the time when I’m very hungry. I hiccup, swallow air, and burp—all in one smooth motion. I’ll do it for 5-6 times, then the balance of nature is restored or something, and they quit. I never get “regular” hiccups anymore.
I get hiccups that…well, there’s no way to describe them, but when my now-husband first heard them, he thought I was faking. Category 5, definitely. The only way to cure them:
Get a full glass of water. Plug up your ears and nose, and drink as much of the water as you can. Hey presto, no more hiccups!
Yes, I look really stupid…my thumbs go in my ears, index fingers over nostrils, and the rest hold the glass. Very tricky.
