Just now I saw that I have a Facebook friend request from a woman posing on a Harley, whose feed contains this cartoon:
OK, much more compatible.
I’m on Facebook and Strava and never get contacted by gorgeous, young scammers. I don’t know whether to feel relieved or offended.
Squeaky Woodrow here. Me love you adequate time.
I’ve received several likes from people who say something like, “I don’t want to invade your privacy by sending you a Friend request, but I’d love it if you’d send me one.”
To me this sounds like a vampire asking me to invite him into my house.
Sincerely yours,
Topper West Villa
Maybe if we embrace it, we could work the “borg porn” angle
Jojo 17th
boom-chicka-bow-bow “Yes! Yes! Assimilate me, baby!”
I’ve gotten the male version of those. It’s almost always a reply to a very old (and usually banal) comment of mine on someone else’s feed. The guy’s picture is always respectable looking, late 40s to 50s, and he’s always a bank exec or business manager. He’s admired my posts for a while now and would like to get to know me, would I send him a friend request.
The part that kills me is that the “I admire what you have to say” is virtually always prompted by some stupid reply of mine to someone else, like “That kitten is TOO cute!” or “OMG, unbelievable …”
Scammers gotta scam. 
“We will add your biological distinctiveness to our own, and do it slowly.”
I get friend requests from “men” whose profile is a photo of a doctor (complete with stethoscope, sometimes in scrubs) with no education, no friends, and no posts. Sometimes it shows they’re in some foreign country (not Europe). Yeah right!!!
I’m Lucky Center for a stripper/porn name.
I think it sorta works.
The next one would be Pretty boy McCullough not so good. More like a gangster name
I am Buster Mainstreet, I like it. Feels quite manly, like me! 
If only we had lived two blocks over on Cherry Street it would have been awesome.
Pete Cricket.
I think it works.
(Actually, Pete’s papers said his name was Salty P-Nuts, so it’s technically Salty P-Nuts “Pete” Cricket; now it really works)
Oh, and lots of hawt women with 3 pictures and 4 posts want to be my friend on social media.
And I sometimes get random text messages asking if I’m somebody else. When I try to explain that I’m not, they immediately lose all interest in that person they were trying to connect with and now want to know all about meeeeee!
I feel so special when that happens.
& you should tell them all about you - how you’re up the river for a long stint for that heinous crime you committed & how every last cent of the pittance you make as a swabbie goes towards restitution. Hmmm, maybe they could fund your commissary account; hopefully before the guards do another sweep & confiscate your contraband phone. 