For those of you who are still curious, the lovely “Chanelle” turned out to be an apparently sincere, if not somewhat eccentric denizen of the social network arena. I think I was successful in shooing her away. We just had the following conversation, and I don’t think she’s coming back for more:
Hi Eric and How u doing
9:40pm
Oh hi - pretty good.
9:42pm
And what Have u been doing that u dont Respond Fast
9:43pm
I’m on about 3 other web pages and I’m watching a movie at the same time. And having another conversation.
9:43pm
Oh i see
and where u from ?
9:44pm
Simi Valley, CA - home of the Rodney King trials.
9:45pm
Oh i see and is that in usa?
9:45pm
Yes, California is in the United States.
9:46pm
Okay and am from AL In Tuskegee
And How Old are u?
9:50pm
I just turned 39! [Total bullshit—I’m 49]
9:52pm
Okay and am 33 Year Old Now
and let me know How Long u been single ?
and have u get Married before?
9:52pm
I am not single. I am married. It says so right in my profile. My wife’s name is Denni.
9:54pm
Really and am sorry i have too find another person right
9:55pm
Good luck with that.
9:55pm
Hm But will Can still be Frined Right
9:57pm
Of course. I just naturally assumed that’s why you IM’ed me in the first place. My baby doll is my one and only, and she always will be. Sorry, but there’s no room for two.
9:57pm
Yes i Know Huh
And Let me How Long u Been Married?
9:58pm
Three’s a crowd, as the saying goes.
9:58pm
what u mean
9:58pm
6 years this October.
9:59pm
Oh That Great and Let me Know u have KidS?
9:59pm
Just repeating what I said before about monogamy – just phrasing it differently.
Nope, no kids.
10:00pm
why what Happen Huh
10:01pm
We haven’t been able.
We will adopt, though.
10:02pm
Oh That Not That Good
10:02pm
Why? Lots of kids need homes.
10:02pm
Yes i Know That But It will be good to Have Ur Own Kid
u there
10:05pm
Yes, it would be nice, but I guess it can’t happen. I just have to accept that. I know my wife is disappointed too, but I think she’ll get over it.
10:06pm
Okay Fine
And Let me Know what u do for work?
10:07pm
I am a pharmacy technician. [More bullshit. I’m an unemployed pharmacy tech. I pay the bills doing restaurant work.]
10:08pm
oh i see
Let Me Know what u want From Me Huh
10:09pm
Want? nothing really. You IM’ed me. I just responded out of curiosity.
10:10pm
Okay and am single Lady with a Daughter Okay and Let me Know Ur Mind what u want From Me As a Woman Huh
u There Respond
Talk too me
10:15pm
Considering the fact that you live over 1000 miles from me there’s very little I could expect to obtain from you. Like I said, I responded out of curiosity.
10:18pm
ok and u dont really like me
10:19pm
I never said that. Why would I not like you? That’s a very strange thing to say.
By the way, how did you find me on Facebook? We don’t have any mutual friends.
10:20pm
Okay and Forget i will Go Look for single Guy
10:20pm
Like I said, good luck with that.
10:21pm
Okay Fine and Bye
10:22pm
Bye. But feel free to drop by any time.
10:22pm
nope i will not do that
10:23pm
OK. Sorry to disappoint you. You never mentioned how you found my profile.
So, mystery solved. Sexually frustrated white trash from Alabama looking for a hookup and probably some cash. She’ll probably defriend me tomorrow. 