My new kitten is bullying my adult cat.

Never had a kitten before. Got one a few weeks ago. She is just over two months old. Her name is Mina.

At first my older cat Merlin was pissed, and hid from her, and hissed at her, but then they started playing together. Sometimes they will even lie down on the same bed together as long as Mina leaves him alone. But Mina doesn’t really get when Merlin is not interested in playing, and she doesn’t understand when she’s being too rough. I got him as an adult and he had already been declawed, but I don’t intend to declaw Mina. Now she goes straight for his neck or face and bites at his paws. He bats at her face but he doesn’t have a good defense system and he’s not very assertive. She can effectively chase him away from his own food dish when he’s trying to eat.

He’s been throwing up, I think from eating the kitten’s food - he stopped eating his own dry food completely when presented with the kitten’s food bowl - so I bought him special human grade wet food to appeal to him more, and have been serving it on his high-up safe space, the kitchen island where he has his own basket and until now has been safe from Mina attacks. Ever since I started feeding him this way, the vomiting has stopped.

But today she figured out how to get up there and is rolling around in his basket and eating his wet food.

My beautiful twelve year old black cat seems sick and miserable. It’s hard to even get him to play with me. I don’t want to punish the kitten for just being a kitten, but I want to protect my other kitty from her aggressive behavior and I don’t know how. I don’t know how much of this is normal kitten stuff or whether some serious behavioral intervention is needed, and what.

Thanks for your time.

Have you talked to your vet?

You’ll have to do what I do.


I couldn’t live with the Boards opinion of putting my older cat down.


For several years (and we will until one dies) we’ve been keeping our cats separated. When one is out with free roam of the house, the other is locked in a bedroom (with food and water and a litter box).

Its a serious parlor game… “which cat is out?” … that we play.

I Know you love Merlin.
I Know you love Mina.

They can only play through a locked bedroom door until the food thing gets handled.
(Please alternate their hours? Condemning One to only daylight and One to only night is cruel even for Bram Stoker…)

I have a similar issue, but multiplied by about 20 - my older female Dane, who grew up with a male companion, decided she didn’t have a maternal bone in her body when the puppy came home. She is up to tolerating him being close and sniffing occasionally, but she’s already injured one ankle trying to jump away from his playful attacks and may have actually bit him last night - just a nip, but.

I think she will eventually become tolerant, with some help like petting both at the same time, but it’s one more layer of exhaustion on the process of growing a Dane puppy.

I did have two cats that hated each other, a few years back, and the process of cuddling one on each side and occasionally throwing the younger, slightly evil male out of the room eventually brought peace.

Not yet. Since he stopped vomiting I figured I’d wait it out a week and see if anything improved.

I wonder if it would help to just feed both of them the wet food? It’s expensive but if they only had one option that would make neither of them sick, it might help.

Would me playing with her more cut down on her aggressive behavior generally? She’s an ankle and hand biter too, but she’s learning to be more gentle with humans. I just say “no bite!” and then withdraw my hands. I’m not sure how to teach the same lesson about cats.

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I once got a kitten thinking she would be good company for my older cat, but it turned out that the kitten just caused her stress. I don’t think the kitten had behavioral problems, she was just being a kitten. I regret doing that to my older cat during the last years of her life.

Any chance you might consider getting another kitten? If your kitten had a playmate, she might leave the older cat alone. The older cat being declawed puts him at a significant disadvantage.

I had the same problem with a male kitten and an older and much larger female. The male was just a tiny ball of fluff when I brought him home but he dominated right from day one. Sometimes they would play together but sometimes he would just torment her. After he got a little older (he never got very big) he would also (apparently) try to mate with her despite the fact that both were neutered!
I ended up seperating them when I wasn’t around to referee.
The male later did fine with an adult male cat I brought home.

The Libyan Wildcat is a solitary species, the 10,000 years of domestication could only make house cats tolerant of each other, generally speaking. You’ve overturned everything Merlin held dear and true. He will need time to adjust to the new kitten. Consult a vet and …

Pour your love and affection into Merlin, make it a point to remind him how you feel about him as often as manageable. He’s used to being your only, and now he’s not. Cats generally don’t like change of any kind, and you need to ease him through this part of his life. Brush him out thrice a day, hold him for long periods, whatever you know he likes, pour it on. Make him believe this new kitten is the source of all this new and improved attention by getting her stink all over you before you adore Merlin.

IMEIO, female cats are immune from all male cat territorialism, Merlin may see his entire domain destroyed. My boys make all kinds of mischief, but when their matriarch puts her foot down, they scatter. Here’s where separating them will help, establish one room as Merlin’s, Mina doesn’t go in ever whereas he is free to roam.

From experience, if they ever fight … DO NOT hold them in your arms nose-to-nose and hope they settle down, they won’t … I know this sounds like a great idea, but it’s not … trust me on this point.

There’s a reason why some shelters only adopt out kittens in pairs. Kittens need to beat up on each other to learn the limits. My friend had this very problem with a kitten tormenting her older cat. I told her to get another kitten. She said no way. A month later, she got another kitten and the older cat has been left in peace.

You can try being the other kitten and playing with her a LOT to wear her out.

Normally, the older cat will tolerate this misbehavior for just so long, and then will react, putting the kitten in it’s place. (That’s how kittens learn the boundaries of proper behavior.)

But the declawing has left your older cat without the weapons to respond when the kitten needs it. So probably the best right now is to make sure the older cat has a safe space where the kitten isn’t allowed. Possibly a room/rooms separated by a baby gate – the gate lets them be near each other, but he can walk away when he’s tired of the kitten. Maybe eventually, they will begin to get along. (Though this means he has suffered the loss of part of his territory. Make sure he doesn’t also suffer the loss of you – you need to spend time in the rooms where he is.)

This won’t be encouraging, but we had this situation as well. We had a 7-year-old girl cat with a sweet but shy and aloof personality, and we decided to add another cat to the mix and wound up with a boisterous little boy kitten. He made her life hell. He was very jealous and would constantly chase her away if he saw her getting any attention from us that he wasn’t. He was absolutely crap at jumping, so we were able to put her food up where he couldn’t reach it so she could eat in peace, but other than that he was bullying her all the time. She spent a lot of her time being chased around and hiding in basement ceiling panels. We wound up barricading him out of rooms she was in when we could to give her a bit of peace and attention, but it only sort of worked. After 5 years of this, the problem sadly solved itself when the younger cat suddenly up and died of kidney failure. Older cat was MUCH happier for the remaining few years of her life. We loved both cats and were very upset over the younger one’s untimely demise, but we swore never to add another cat like that again. We got the next two from the same cage in the shelter (not related but it’s not like the cats knew that) and it was much, much better.

Your kitten may grow out of it, but she may not. I’d give it some time, but I’d also start feeding Merlin separately and creating time and space with him where she can’t get at him. We had to do Count Blucher’s alternating lockup solution for a different set of cats who absolutely hated each other and it wasn’t ideal, but it definitely worked.

I’d be hesitant to try solving it with another kitten. What if it doesn’t work and you now have 3 cats who don’t get along instead of just 2?

You may also need to step in and provide the discipline that Merlin can’t. A squirt bottle when she’s being rough, or a sharp “hssst” noise to interrupt her in mid-action. I agree that a Mina-free zone would be helpful, but I wouldn’t go so far as to keep them completely separate at all times. He should have the option to retreat for peace and quiet, and to interact when he’s willing (or she’s well behaved).

I sympathize with the OP in I used to declaw my cats but have also evolved to learn that is just not a humane thing it do. Regardless, you’ve put yourself in a situation where you have an older declawed cat and an aggressive clawed kitten.

I also have to ask has Merlin ever lived with another cat? If not, having to suddenly share his home with a kitten after 12 years of being the only cat is usually a no-no; they aren’t pack animals.

Theres also the possibility Merlin is just getting old and thats why he’s less responsive: 12 years is old for a cat, and the stress of this youngster is not helping.

Letting Merlin have wet food too is a great idea; a year ago we adopted a kitten who quickly took over the house from five older cats, two who were declawed. But, since coming in, and its a long story why we do this, every night now all 6 cats get a small portion of a 50 cent can of wet cat food rather than as a weekly treat. I think somehow they associate her arrival with more wet food treats, and despite her alpha-ness, all is still well in the Russian Heel household.

I would simply suggest letting Mina and Merlin have their wet food, at the same time, but maybe separated, that way they both associate each other with something positive but no one gets their food stolen. If all goes well, you can experiment with them eating in the same room together maybe when Mina can start eating the adult food.

Id also suggest playing with them both with a kitty teaser at the same time. Again, you are placing both animals in a situation where they are both doing something fun, together, and hopefully will make that association. Anything you can think of that is fun for BOTH cats that both can do together, will make life easier for Merlin.

Also accept that it appears Mina is a Alpha cat, and Merlin has taken the role of an Omega. The Omega role is best established as a kitten, or for an adult cat if they also are stuck in the same situation with allies. So, poor Merlin.

BTW, its also OK to step in and correct Mina if she is getting too rough with Merlin. Im not saying hit her, but a loud NO! will let Merlin know you are on her side and that Mina should think twice before bullying.

At the end of the day, I THINK adopting Mina might have been a bad move if Merlin has always been an alone declawed cat (and if not, we have to talk some more) but it is what it is; keep working with both, and hopefully Merlin will accept his lesser role.

You also need to think about Mina when Merlin hits the rainbow bridge; believe it or not as mean as she might seem now to poor Merlin she may go into depression and you may need to get another kitten as a playmate for her, which will take time.

I agree that a second kitten is a good idea.

I also agree with feeding them both at the same time, when you can keep the peace, and then picking up their food after twenty minutes. No free feeding at this time. Put the food down in small doses 2-3 times a day. That way they each get enough of the appropriate food.

I also agree with you intervening to spare Merlin when she gets rough. Remember, her mama cat would have filled this role naturally. Now it’s up to you. Mama cat would claw, nip or shake the kitten to get her point across.

If she claws you, feel free to poke her, pinch or grip her by her scruff (while keeping in mind that she only weighs a pound, obviously). Verbalizing is fine, in an appropriately outraged manner, but be sure it’s consistent and also that Merlin doesn’t think you’re mad at him. Time outs and taking your hand away might not be enough for a kitten’s attention span.

When you see her assault Merlin’s face and throat, you need to step in. Grip her by the back of the neck, give her a little shake while saying no and set her down. Repeat as necessary. Be firm. If there’s an alpha cat in the house, it needs to be you.

I wouldn’t separate them completely, but be sure to give Merlin some time to himself where he can relax and get away from it all for a bit.

We got a kitten and have not an older cat but two hounds. Sight hounds.

Now you could go down the check list, Small? Fuzzy? Scurries about? and couldn’t come up with anything better to press a sight hounds buttons. The first three weeks the kitten, dubbed KC for Kitty Cat, was never in the same room as them without being on the couch or at our feet. If one dog or the other was within striking distance (about 6-feet) our undivided attention was on the dog and the kitten (kind of like watching a kid in the pool).

At first both dogs were curious. They would approach slowly (With “noes” from us) and when their noses were within range, a couple inches, they would sniff at it. This would make KC explode into a hissing ball of fluff. After a bit, with us on high alert, they’d nose the kitten, poking at it and sometimes making it tumble if they’d catch it just right. For some reason several times the younger dog would flip an edge of the blanket KC was on over it like it was trying to bury it or something.

The kitten eventually stopped reacting to these insults except to eye the offending dog warily and we started letting it range a bit from us. The older dog was pretty well satisfied and does his best to ignore the newcomer, except when it’s being exceptionally pestiferous or weird, but the younger dog decided it was the bestest dog toy ever and they started playing with each other.

At first it was several times a day but now it’s down to about once, for a half hour or so when the dog is wanting some interior exercise (KC is always up for it and amuses itself with various objects when the dog is down). The dog will bow in typical canine invitation and the kitten will run under a piece of furniture, wait till the dog gets there, then make a beeline to another piece or climb up the back of the chair so it can bat at his nose. When they’re done for the moment, the kitten will curl up in one nook or another of the flat-dog for about fifteen minutes. The dog, being a hound, will be supine for hours.

About the only strife is when the dogs are eating; for some reason KC insists on helping itself to their food, which leads to a growl. We carry it off with one piece of kibble which seems to be sufficient. When we’re not there, the dogs are loose inside, but KC is confined in kitty-jail in the bathroom with food, water, and a litter-box.

Well. Merlin’s still acting kind of sick and resigned, but his coat looks better and he’s eating the wet food, however cautiously, with no sickness. I took the chairs away from the island so kitten can’t get up there again… Yet.

Last night she kept attacking him in bed so I tossed her out of the bedroom for the night. Woke up with a purring very happy Merlin on my chest. I’m going to stick with this theme of giving Merlin mini-vacations from her and just lavishing attention on him when I can.

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Okay, I got an important bit of information when I took little Abomination to the vet this week.

She is in fact a he.

I dunno why, but this blew my mind. The good news is, it’s cheaper to neuter a cat than spay one!

I’m guessing the fact they are boy cats will be relevant to better understanding what’s going on between them.

Things are, I think, improving. Merlin stopped throwing up but he still wasn’t eating right and drooling like crazy, so I took him to vet and it turned out he had bronchitis as well as allergies. I was so relieved it wasn’t just psychological stress effects. Pilling cats is super fun! But as Merlin has started to feel better, he seems more assertive with little Bomb, and it doesn’t hurt that Bomb’s nails were clipped. (I’m completely lost as to what to nickname the kitten now… since owning him is basically like having multiple explosions go off all over my house, I’m guessing Bomb is apt enough.)

Bomb is healthy other than ear mites, which he has drops for now, and is scheduled for neutering and round 2 of vaccines next month. The vets referred to him as a ‘‘wild child’’ which they say is due to what they call The Orange Factor. Apparently cats with orange fur are crazy.

I have no idea if neutering will help resolve issues between the cats, but I think trying to intervene and putting Bomb in a separate room when he attacked Merlin was counterproductive. It made Merlin into a really enticing object. Since I’ve resolved to let them work things out for themselves, and Merlin is feeling a lot better, they are actually capable of lying down in the same room together without fighting.

Fingers crossed…

It’s true! (Based on my extensive dataset of one) Orange cats are crazy. :wink: Sunny (short for Sundance - we were trying to go for Butch and Sundance but ended up with Sunny and Merlin) liked to do things such as walking down the mantle and knocking items off one at a time. Knock item off, watch carefully to see it fall to the ground and explode. Move to the next item, and repeat. She was also a cuddle monster of the highest order once she grew up a little. :slight_smile:

Glad you got Merlin’s health issue figured out. Hopefully peace will prevail.

yes were going through this with a boy and girl kitten with the other 4 middle aged to elderly cats …but with them it depends on t he mood there in sometimes thell play with them sometimes just hiss … but theres one that if we get on to her for anything and the kittens in the room shell go and try to smack them around …

My husband says Bomb divides the world into two distinct categories:

  1. Things to bite.
  2. Things to bite later.

He basically experiences the world through trying to eat it.

Fortunately, I’ve never had cats who intentionally knocked things over (Bomb does, but I don’t think he means to, he’s just got a poor grasp of physics right now.) Merlin is downright adept, he will walk across bookcases and shelves filled with stuff and not knock anything over.