I get to do that just by reflecting on the fact that there are enough people out there willing to watch this crap for entertainment to make it a viable concept.
And BEING a wifebeater should give you a 100% chance of being arrested. (Ditto husbandbeaters too.)
Any police officer will tell you that the job is usually pretty boring, and there’s maybe 10 minutes a year that would get on “Cops”.
[ul]
[li]A suspect’s appearance of not having bathed in a week or more.[/li][li]A suspect’s cigarette use predominates.[/li][li]Mobile home parks.[/li][li]Cops prefer wearing skin-tight uniforms, including those with donlops disease.[/li][/ul]
When the cops come into your house to arrest you for beating someone up or for drugs, the cameras will let the world know that you don’t use sheets on your bed.
Anyone with a freshly lit cigarette just got done doing drugs and is trying to mask the smell.
There is a police officer in Las Vegas who wears eyeglasses and really, really likes tackling people whether its needed or not. I’ve seen 3 or 4 different episodes with The Tackler, he never fails to do his thing.
The further into the boonies a cop is, the tougher he’ll talk and then bust someone with a dime bag of weed & act like he just took down Tony Montana.
Nobody who runs ever gets away from the cops. They’re never too obese or out of shape to catch a suspect, even an athletic 20-year-old high on cocaine and adrenaline.
Even though you don’t have to, it’s always a good idea to give consent to a search, especially if you’re hiding drugs and weapons.
Whenever cops search a vehicle for drugs, they always find some. Nobody anywhere, ever doesn’t have some kind of illegal drugs on them at all times.
No matter how stumbling, puking drunk a person may be, they’ve never had more than two beers.
[David Spade]
Every idiot on COPS has his shirt off when they get him. It’s always the same drill: shirt off, La-Z-Boy, dolphin shorts, one sock, flip-flop, weed on the table, dog barking, baby crying, cig burning, TV on the fuzz, not surprised there’s a cop in their house, “Dude, she hit me first…”
[/David Spade]
Cops are not actors. Nor do they speak off-the-cuff very well. Probably they should leave the posturing and speechifying to other people.
Also, a lot of the suspects on the show are not nearly as smart as they think they are. Or they think that the cops are as stupid as they are (see also the “only had two beers” and “I have no idea how that illegal stuff got in my car”).
When you are arrested in front of your family and neighbors, bleeding from the head, about to go to jail and lose your job, maybe your family, and have a ton of things that should be occupying your mind, your primary concern is…
“Hey, can I get my cigarettes?”
The contents of your pockets or purse are not yours; they’re someone else s. In some cases even the pants you’re wearing aren’t yours. :rolleyes:
There is a wide-scale, informal car lending program across the United States. It’s trivially easy to borrow the car or truck of a friend whose name you haven’t yet learned, and whose address you only have the vaguest idea of. The downside is that every generous lender is also a drug user or dealer who conceals his narcotics in the vehicle before tossing the keys, completely unbeknownst to the borrower who is of course a staunch teetotaler.
That’s not stupid. Those are the answers that have the highest probability of getting them off. It’s just that said probability is not very high.
If they said, “oh yeah, that’s my crack”, that would be stupid.
It blows my mind that individuals pursuing criminalistic endeavors, for which a high speed chase is likely, never bring a bag of caltrops.
Regardless of how little resistance you put up, you will be slammed to the pavement by 4 police officers all screaming “GET ON THE GROUND, GET ON THE GROUND”. Littering? SLAM! Jaywalking? SLAM!
Nobody hits my sister.
(fade to black)
'less they married to her.
Not only that but everyone who’s on the show (without their face pixelized) has signed a release letting the producers use the footage without, as far as I know, any compensation.
No one knows their friend’s last name or address , even though they are just going to or coming from his house.
I have a friend who is a cop in a suburb of St. Louis, and he told me 99% of the time motorcycles that run from him get away. They accelerate instantly and take a few turns, and they’re gone. Plus the plates are so tiny that he can’t even read them before they take off.
I recall seeing an episode where they pulled this guy over in a UHaul b/c they had an anonymous tip that he had drugs. He said he had no drugs anywhere (although he kinda looked like he did). The cops proceeded to spend a couple of hours going through the van, and finding nothing. He said his ex-girlfirend probably called them to make his life miserable, and he was right. They had him call her back, while they listened, while she said “Yeah, I called them - I wanted you to get harrassed becuse I hate you.” They let him go and arrested her for filing a false police report.