My "Open Letter" to Fucking IDIOTIC YouTube Video Posters

[Martini_Enfield]

I get fed up with Music Videos which invariably turn out to be random idiots and their friends dancing around in their living room- or, worse- obscure anime set to the music.

My fiancee loves YouTube, though- I think primarily because it’s full of random stuff and she loves finding something especially amusing or unusual in amongst all the rubbish.

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

@Shamozzle

It’s just that I have this vision of what a “perfect” YouTube would be like: All meat and no fat. All 4 or 5 stars, no 1 or 2 stars. I just find the current incarnation frustrating and banal.

I feel your pain, really I do, but I would also like to point out, from a sense of historical perspective, that these identical words have been said about every single mass-market entertainment media that has come along in the last 150 years or so.

They said it about daily newspapers.
They said it about vaudeville.
They said it about movies.
They said it about comic books.
They said it about television.
They said it about cable.

And they said it about the Internet as a whole.

The elitists have complained, loudly, that all of these are too much dreck and not enough “quality”, completely ignoring the fact that mass-market entertainment by its very nature is dreck and not quality, for the simple reason that it only exists to serve a clientele that prefers dreck to quality.

So, you’re in good company–you and all yer elitist friends.

[Terrifel]

@Shamozzle

And another thing (and this is going to blow your fucking mind): When you title your clip: “Alligator rides unicycle while doing long division”, I want to see AN ALLIGATOR RIDING A UNICYCLE DOING LONG DIVISION. I don’t wanna see no crocodile, I don’t wanna see no regular bicycle, and I don’t wanna see no fucking calculators. Abacus?.. maybe. An Alligator using an abacus would be alright, I guess. Ya dig?

Be fair; many people can’t easily distinguish between an alligator and a crocodile.

Re: YouTube… You’re familiar with Sturgeon’s Law? “90% of everything is crap.”

[Tuckerfan]

@Terrifel

Be fair; many people can’t easily distinguish between an alligator and a crocodile.

Re: YouTube… You’re familiar with Sturgeon’s Law? “90% of everything is crap.”

I think Sturgeon’s an optimist, the real total’s about nine points higher.

Shamozzle, I think you should videotape yourself reading that rant and post it to youtube.

[Zsofia]

Wow, it’s really too bad you don’t have any way of figuring out what videos other viewers thought were awesome. Some kind of… rating system? Maybe a way for you to just tell people what you thought about it?

Nah, it would never work.

[Archergal]

You know, occasionally I glance at the comments under the videos.

WTF??? That’s where the crazy people are. Jeezopete.

I don’t have any problem with stupid videos, cuz I don’t watch them.

[Liberal]

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST THING EVER!!! BUT I LOVE MY MOM AND DON’T WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES!
If you do not copy and paste this onto 10 videos your mom will die in 4 hours"

[Contrapuntal]

@Liberal

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST THING EVER!!! BUT I LOVE MY MOM AND DON’T WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES!
If you do not copy and paste this onto 10 videos your mom will die in 4 hours"

HAH! She’s already dead! Dumbass!

[Guinastasia]

You know, this is pretty out there, but I have a solution-perhaps you could try, I dunno, not watching it maybe?

Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy, but it just might work.

[Cervaise]

@Tuckerfan

Shamozzle, I think you should videotape yourself reading that rant and post it to youtube.

I think he should take a cat, hold it up in front of the camcorder, and jiggle the cat slightly while reading the rant in a silly voice. Because it would look like the cat is talking, you see. Which would be funny.

And at the end, after the rant is done, there should be a pause of a couple of seconds, and then the cat should say, “Ow, my balls.” Fade out.

Oh, and there should be techno music playing softly in the background the whole time.

[Rhubarb]

@Cervaise

I think he should take a cat, hold it up in front of the camcorder, and jiggle the cat slightly while reading the rant in a silly voice. Because it would look like the cat is talking, you see. Which would be funny.

And at the end, after the rant is done, there should be a pause of a couple of seconds, and then the cat should say, “Ow, my balls.” Fade out.

Oh, and there should be techno music playing softly in the background the whole time.

I would so totally watch that.

[Shamozzle]

@Duck Duck Goose

I feel your pain, really I do, but I would also like to point out, from a sense of historical perspective, that these identical words have been said about every single mass-market entertainment media that has come along in the last 150 years or so.

They said it about daily newspapers.
They said it about vaudeville.
They said it about movies.
They said it about comic books.
They said it about television.
They said it about cable.

And they said it about the Internet as a whole.

The elitists have complained, loudly, that all of these are too much dreck and not enough “quality”, completely ignoring the fact that mass-market entertainment by its very nature is dreck and not quality, for the simple reason that it only exists to serve a clientele that prefers dreck to quality.

So, you’re in good company–you and all yer elitist friends.

Well, if yearning for a better YouTube makes me an elitist, pass the caviar.

[Shamozzle]

@Tuckerfan

I think Sturgeon’s an optimist, the real total’s about nine points higher.

Shamozzle, I think you should videotape yourself reading that rant and post it to youtube.

I wouldn’t do that. Do you know why? Because it would suck. Give a hoot, don’t pollute.

[Shamozzle]

@Zsofia

Wow, it’s really too bad you don’t have any way of figuring out what videos other viewers thought were awesome. Some kind of… rating system? Maybe a way for you to just tell people what you thought about it?

Nah, it would never work.

YouTube’s rating system doesn’t go far enough in reflecting the quality of the videos they rate.

[Darryl_Lict]

@Liberal

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST THING EVER!!! BUT I LOVE MY MOM AND DON’T WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES!
If you do not copy and paste this onto 10 videos your mom will die in 4 hours"

Damn, you beat me to it. However, this type of idiotic crap makes me thank Og that the Dope is moderated.

[Evil_Captor]

I do think the descriptions should related to the contents of the video in some way. “Britney Spears naked dildo bondage with Hillary Clinton” should not be used to describe a kitten playing with a ball of yarn, for example. Even if that kitten IS “so darn cute!”

[Who_me_1]

@Shamozzle

YouTube’s rating system doesn’t go far enough in reflecting the quality of the videos they rate.

Damn, that toy car vid was so cool!!!

[Seven]

@Shamozzle

Ok, not all of them. Just the ones who post absolute crap.

You want crap? Do a search on YouTube for “numa” and play anything it returns.

Perhaps I’m just getting old but I don’t get it.

[Shamozzle]

@Seven

You want crap? Do a search on YouTube for “numa” and play anything it returns.

Perhaps I’m just getting old but I don’t get it.

Holy fuck, those are stupid.

This is exactly the kind of stuff I’m talking about. How can anyone have a problem with my criticism of this garbage?

It’s cultural pollution, Iz tells ya!

[Millit_the_Frail]

My favorite lame YouTubes are the “TV shows cut to make music videos.” You know, the tribute to the OC’s dead Marissa, set to the “How could this happen to me?” song. Or scenes of House set to “Not an Addict.” :rolleyes:

They’re always like, “OMG, I heard this song and thought of blahblahblah…so I made this video, enjoy~~~”

My husband and I find these things hysterical and have been known to spend large amounts of time spreading the ridicule.