My roomate is away for two weeks. This is the first time in my entire life that I have my dwelling completely to myself. Last night was the first night that loupdebois did not stay over either.
So I’m sitting on the couch reading, and notice lights from other apartments flicking on and off in the ventilation shaft that runs up the center of my boulding. And I start wondering what’s at the bottom of the shaft. Having just finished reading a murder mystery (Score!, by Jilly Cooper, for anyone who’s interested), I immediately thought of a dead body. And, as anyone who’s read that novel knows, a large part of it deals with whether or not the victim has come back. So of course, my brains’ next ‘logical’ step was ‘maybe it’s a dead body waiting to come back!’ In my bathroom, there’s a window on to the shaft, which I’m not strong enough to close, and even if I was, we need the air circulation in the shower. So I tried to go to sleep and not think about the hungry zombie that was at this very moment climbing in through my bathroom window . . .
It was a bad night. :smack:
If I were you, I’d be more concerned about the devil-clown under your bed. The zombie is going to randomly select a bathroom to climb into on his quest for brains. The chances he’ll get yourbathroom are slim. If he did, the chances that they (the zombie and the demonic clown) would gang-up on you to provide a most gruesome fate are also slim. Most likely, they would have some sort of epic monster battle or something-- but thats beside the point…
Okay, so now I’m not sleeping tonight either . . . Actually, devil-clowns aside, the thing in my bedroom that scared me was the wig I have sitting on a styrofoam head on my dresser . . . I was also convinced it was coming to life . . .
I do what I can.
Reminds me of a similar experience I once had with a propped-up acoustic guitar case and a dress shirt.
(FYI: The clown can’t come out during the night if you turn around three times counterclockwise at the foot of the bed before you turn in for the evening. Whatever you do, make sure you turn around all three times…)
Maybe I SHOULD come over tonight…
Visions of zombies, clowns, etc may scare you and keep you up at night, but you know they aren’t real.
Just knowing that doesn't help. The logical part of your brain gets clobbered by the scared part.
But you can use the same part the fears and zombie images come from for defense.
Close your eyes and visualize heroes defending you and destroying the monsters.
EG
The zombie sticks it's head out of the vent. Ash promptly decapitates the zombie with his chainsaw. He picks up his newest trophy head and says "Groovy."
I’ve found this works very well.
I have never been so offended in my afterlife!!
This is a clear-cut case of racial profiling if I’ve ever seen one. All you living people think every “zombie” you see is out to kill you and eat your brains! We’re just regular law-abiding dead people trying to hold ourselves together. WE DIDN’T LAND ON PLYMOUTH ROCK, WE CRAWLED OUT FROM UNDER IT!!! I have a dream, a dream that one day all the Undead Americans (or Metaphysically Challenged, if you prefer) can rest in peace! When will the hate stop? When will we see an end to all the profiling we see in American cinema? Not to mention the police! You think other races have it bad, what about us? The cops haul us downtown if they even SEE us, whether we were doing anything or not.
We’re not going to take this lying down!
//\etalhea|)
The Al Sharpton of the Undead
I think zombies need to get together and get a new PR firm, because their current one (Wagner-Eddstrom?) isn’t doing a very good job.
I actually scared myself the other night.
I was alone, as my roommate is away on vacation and my SO is on a business trip, and I was playing Eternal Darkness on the Gamecube.
Most of this game involves lopping off zombies heads with edged weapons, and those parts aren’t really all that scary. However, it is scary are when you return to the empty house all alone and are just sitting there slowly going insane from reading the Necronomicon (calle The Tome of Eternal Darkness in the game, presumably to avoid copyright issues) and you can hear footsteps moving around the floor above you, which really got to me for some reason.
So I realized I’m freaking myself out over a video game, so I stop playing, grab some popcorn and sit down to get caught up on tv.
Then someone knocks on my door, and I think I may have actually hung on the ceiling for a few seconds with my fingernails.
It was just one of those annoying kids trying to sell me a newspaper subscription. God I hate them. I think I would’ve prefered a zombie. At least zombies don’t come up with some BS “I’m doing this for college credit” crap.
Video game that freaked me out the most for nerve factor after I’d turned it off was Silent Hill.