The author is John Lennon, but I only ever knew the first verse myself.
**Sal Ammoniac **: You just made me spit water at the screen with your post and haiku. And then I promptly had to share it with my office.
I so need to call my pudgy cockatiel “chunky monkey”
Look, matey, I know an ostrich when I see one, and I’m looking at one.
To my parrot:
Damned safflower seeds.
No, you can’t have any more.
Here, have some carrot.
Poop, parrot, poop.
Now you can sit on the couch.
Parrot poops again.
Little beady eyes
Begging peanut butter toast
Piss off bird, it’s mine!
You know, there’s a Monty Python sketch in here somewhere, but I’m damned if I know where.
Try posts 6, 11, 17, 18, and 23. 
I wonder if it is as fat as this guy:
http://animation.filmtv.ucla.edu/students/awinfrey/poe/dusk2.htm