The second step has been completed!
Everyone bow down before me and my murine minions!
Wha-ha-ha-ha!!
So you’re going to take over the world with schizophrenic mice?
How’s that going to work?
I am not foolish enough to reveal my plans to you, plebeian. (Unless you’re Sean Connery. Then I’ll tell you everything. 
)
Narf!
Don’t you know? Mice are super-powerful transdimensional beings and only the mouse part sticks into our dimension.
I’m not sure how smart it is to make schizophrenic super-powerful transdimensional beings, but in the interest of world domination, I guess ya gotta do, what ya gotta do.
And it’ll help you with those bookings on the 5-dimensional chat-show circuit.
Prove that I’m not Sean Connery.
So how do you tell if mice are schizophrenic? Do they take to wandering around their cages pushing tiny shopping carts full of junk and squeaking wildly to themselves?
…One is a genius; the other’s insane. To prove their mousey worth, They’ll overthrow the earth…
Yeah, that’s my question. It looks like they’re claiming a difference in brain structure, mostly. That and mentioning depression and hyperactivity. How can you tell that a mouse is depressed? And even if they’re depressed and hyperactive, how is that schizophrenia?
That’s great. Seriously, the fact that there’d already been a spot on pop-cultural iteration of this very story, it’s too perfect.
So who died and made you The Brain?
Narf!
Oooh! Oooh! Mouse_Maven, can I be your second-in-command?
Also, narf.
How good are you at groveling and sucking up? Do you acknowledge my superior intellect? Are you immune to the charms for comely British secret agents? :dubious:
In all seriousness: Replicating mental illnesses in mice is the holy grail of many researchers. (I’ve been aware of this schizophrenic mouse project for over a year.) These mice have a mutation analogous to one found in a family with a strong tendency for this illness. As for diagnosing schizophrenia in mice, my best guess is that brain scans and/or a physical examination of the brain are used.
One complication with studying mental illness in mice is that some strains have endemic behavioral problems. One strain, know as Black 6 (whole designation: C57BL/6J), is notorius for self injury.
I am such a rodent nerd.
You want I should turn the Death Ray on him/her, Boss?
This is a training program for the Dalek mice, or a cover story?
That’s exactly what my cat wants you to believe.
Poit!
Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
Yes Brain, but where are we going to buy 50,000 pounds of Vasoline and the world’s largest electic razor?
ISTB, but what if the Reader’s new owners don’t want to sell the hampsters?