This is a bit of a rant, but it doesn’t seem quite pit-worthy. My puppy is too cute to get really mad at. I’m used to the typically infuriating behaviour of puppies, we’ve had a few, but this one’s different.
As whole family is home for the summer holidays, we decided it would be an ideal time to get a new puppy, a German Shorthaired Pointer we named ‘Georgie.’ Did I say German Shorthaired Pointer? I meant devil spawn! She may look cute and adorable, but unlike normal puppies, who will just grab anything that’s conveniently lying around, she has some kind of evil ability to hone onto and mercilessly hunt down the few possessions that are important to us, reducing them to slobbery shreds.
Here she is claiming the new camera bag as her own:
http://www.freewebs.com/kulau/georgbig.jpg
My brother’s girlfriend, who is also living with us at the moment, has bought hundreds of stuffed toys into our house. Only one is good enough for Georgie. This is a cute little stuffed lion, my brother’s girlfriend’s favourite, which Georgie has fallen in love with. No matter where we hide it, Georgie ALWAYS manages to find and run off with it at least once a day, usually three times. She’s simply not interested in any of the other toys. It defies logic how she manages to get it from places that are out of reach and behind closed doors, but she does. I can understand how she can locate it because now it stinks SO badly from her mud-wrestling adventures that any human could find it with their eyes closed, let alone a pointer. It’s been almost completely defaced and the stuffing is coming out.
My brother and his girlfriend just went back to her mother’s house for a few days, taking the lion with them for a wash and repairs. Little did I know, Georgie was now on the rebound. Last night I left my bedroom doors open because it’s the middle of summer here and pretty hot. I have about 50 stuffed toys from my childhood which I keep in a cubby above my cupboard, that I pulled out yesterday onto my floor while trying to find something. You can see where this is going, right? I woke up at about 8am when Georgie decided to thrust her cold, wet nose into my armpit. I’m a teenager on holiday, 8am is way too early for me, I rolled over and went back to sleep. I woke up a couple of hours later, got dressed, had coffee, looked outside onto the lawn… started screaming, started running…
This part defies my logic completely and leads me to the devil-spawn conclusion. I literally had about 50 teddies of all shapes and sizes on my floor, yet the ones she had stolen were the ONLY ones I really care about, my christening teddy who I’ve had my whole life and the one my ex-boyfriend and best friend, who I still care heaps about but have lost contact with, won for me. Of course she took them both mud wrestling (it rained yesterday, despite being summer) AND showed her affection by mauling their faces. My christening teddy is all matted and gnawed mercilessly around the nose area, the other one I found in a mud puddle and it’s chewed up, scratched and missing its nose. I don’t understand! Did they have some kind of special scent on them that told her, “Georgie, you can inflict the most pain on the true owner of these toys by picking THESE ones?”
And it doesn’t stop there. The teddy my ex won for me is big… bigger than Georgie. I was sitting at the table, using the computer when out of the corner of my eye I saw my teddy walking along the balcony. I was pretty absorbed so it didn’t seem strange right away. Then I clicked. I looked up in shock to see my teddy slowly bobbing down the balcony steps, not the kind of thing you see everyday. The teddy saw me and ran too, but I was faster, teddies are slow and cumbersome. Of course I discovered Georgie on the other side of him, holding on by a big mouthful of fur. Did she really think I’d fall for the, “teddy is taking himself for a stroll on the farm” trick? I’m telling you, this puppy is positively fiendish. I’d left my bedroom door open for just two minutes and she’d found him on my bed. I’m sure if she had gotten away with it she would have been back for the christening teddy and a ménage trios.
We’ve had puppies before but I am NOT used to this. We once bred a litter of Newfoundlands but those puppies are just giant, goofy, clumsy balls of fluff that couldn’t be subtle and fiendish if they tried. I’ll miss her when I leave for University in a week, but for now she’s definitely in my bad books. She may act innocent, but I’m sure there’s more going on behind those big brown eyes than she lets on.
