My recommendation is to eliminate skin-based racism. There is a better way.

The problem with skin-based racism is that it is too subjective. We need a way to *quantifiably *discriminate against people.

I have noticed for a while that some/most people have a white half moon at the base of their nail. I discovered it is called a lunula.

I have always thought these looked funny (because I didn’t notice any on myself). I do not have any lunula visible on my fingers, but after careful inspection, I have noticed that I have about 0.5 mm of it visible on my left thumb.

I am obviously a more evolved and superior race than those with much visible lunula.

Only someone with NO visible lunula can be a “lunulite” which is the most advanced/evolved type of person.

Rules:

  1. Your “degree” on the social scale is how many millimeters of visible lunula you have on your fingers, all added together. Half millimeters are rounded up.
  2. Chopping off your fingers to decrease your lunula scale (and therefor increase your social standing) will not work very often. Missing fingers will count as 3 millimeters.
  3. If you have six fingers on one hand, the fingers with the most visible lunula are counted (sorry, the whole point is to be oppressive).
  4. Only those individuals with 0 millimeters of visible lunula can be “lunulites” and are the most advanced forms of humanity.
  5. More rules may be added to clarify or expand upon the existing rules so that the rules better represent what is inherent in humanity’s stratified nature.

Later I may determine what kind of benefits and advantages that lunulites may receive.

Stinks for all you inferior people.

You run with that you Fix-It-Up Chappie!

Ironically, according to my black history professor, the presence of half-moons was once used to authenticate one’s whiteness, based on the assumption that this was a “white” trait. If someone suspected you of trying to pass, they’d demand to look at your nails.

When she told us this, everyone in the class instantly looked down at their nail beds. Sure enough, it seemed like all the white folks in the class had them, while we negroes didn’t.

Lunulite here. I once had them, but now I’ve advanced to a higher plane.

OTOH, I’m about as white as they come, and I have 4 fingers with zero visible lunula, two where you could argue either way unless you use a magnifying glass, and 4 where they’re unmistakably present.

Interestingly the little fingers are plain, the thumbs are most obvious, and the others in between are in order from least to most. There’s also a pretty big difference between left & right hand. Other than the way my head hair lays, the lunula are probably the biggest asymmetry on my whole exterior.

Hmmm. Some things are better left unexamined. We’ve got enough stupid reasons for group hate without inventing new ones.

The OP is so 19th century.

What we need are quickie DNA tests that permit on-the-spot discrimination. I hear they’re working on a palm-reader for retail store entrances that extracts genetic material from sloughed-off skin cells.

I only have them on my thumbs. No wonder I’m so good at thumb war.

I’m wearing nail polish and have no idea what my lunulae look like.

There is a better way: you ask a person to write something down and see if they use their left hand or right hand. If they use their left hand you know they are a member of the elite, superior class!

I say we just go by whether or not you have a green star on your belly.

That’s funny. I’m from Scandinavia, and since my father dabbled in genealogy, I’m pretty certain there’s no-one in my ancestry coming from Africa at least back to the 18th century.

I guess that despite what my genealogy records claim, I’m not white/Caucasian, then. Or perhaps that lunula/whiteness correlation was BS.

Well, I guess I’m an “untouchable”. I have a total of 3 centimeters of lunula! :frowning:

Like LSLGuy, some fingers have them, some don’t and I’m very fair. The thumbs both have them visible, both index fingers and my right middle and ring fingers have tiny ones. The rest, none.

The problem is that you need to get pretty close to the person to see if you’re going to discriminate against them.

“Lemme see your fingernail! We don’t serve your kind here!”

Too much trouble. I say we discriminate based on whether someone is an “innie” or an “outie”. Everyone has to go with a bare midriff, so we can see.

Even in winter. Being able to be exclusive is worth putting up with a cold middle.

If you have no lunulae, shouldn’t you be referred to as an alunulite?

I love everyone except, of course, the Blue Meanies. I never trusted them…

We need to base it upon stars on your tummy…
*The Sneetches, by Dr. Seuss
Now, the Star-Bell Sneetches had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars.
Those stars weren’t so big. They were really so small.
You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.

But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.”
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they’d snort
“We’ll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!”
And, whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They’d hike right on past them without even talking.*…

Sneetches – a fragrance inspired by the works of Dr. Seuss.
Now available, only from Prince Matchabelli.

I was an outie when I was a kid, then became an innie. Then, just recently, I became an outie again. Wish I’d make up my mind.

Be careful what you wish for: The Beijing Bikini | Greg's China

As a public service I did not include a Google images link for this, erm, phenomenon. You have been warned.