Today was nice, the weather promising, so I decided to forego the standing Saturday soccer match so that I would have strength left to do something with the Olethlings[sup]TM[/sup]. We loaded up the family truckster, swung over to Pacific Moon Cafe for the Dim Sum brunch. Nice, nothing special, the kids enjoyed it.
From there I planned to take them to try and find an alleged castle in Loveland. I wasn’t sure exactly where the castle is located, but I see a sign for the place all of the time. So I drove in the direction the sign indicated. Nothing. Apparently we should have turned somewhere but there was no sign for it. Because everybody around here already knows where the castle is. So signage is not so important. Oh well, we had a couple of other stops on our itinerary.
Now we headed over to see if we could find the restaurant which some friends of ours have been building. It is supposed to open later this month, so we thought we might even find them there putting on some finishing touches. I got to the street that I need to go up, but as I turn right onto the street I notice a sign telling me that the road is closed. Not before the turn, mind you, but after the fact. Because of course everybody around here already knows that this road is closed. So signage is not important.
So we have to make a U-turn and create our own detour. I try to figure out a different way around, but get a bit lost in the process. Mrs. ShibbOleth assures me that we are headed in the right direction, but map reading skills are not her strong suit. We end up on Route 63 instead of Route 42. But this is also not due to map skills. Because when we got to the crossroads, because we are coming from a smaller road to a major road, there is no sign indicating which road the major road is. Because of course everybody around here already knows which road this is. So signage is not important.
We do end up stumbling upon the most posh playground we have ever encountered, anywhere in the world. It is in the middle of nowhere, about 15-20 miles north of our home, nestled amongst 15-20 soccer fields. Apparently we have entered the depths of suburbia and are encountering the benefits of a strong tax base. We play for a good two hours: running, jumping, sliding, climbing, follow-the-leaader, house, store, all the games a 5 and 3 year old love. My daughter makes a couple friends and she meets a classmate, which is odd since this is so far from home and there are not that many people here, maybe 10-15 kids at most at one time. Eventually my son tells me that he is hungry, so we decide to move on.
Next I wanted to take them to Young’s Jersey Dairy. Unfortunately I didn’t really know where this was. Or the name. Rue DeDay had reminded me of this place way back in some other thread, frankly I don’t even remember which one. I just remembered it was some big dairy farm with good ice cream, somewhere north of where I live. I realise this is a bit sketchy to go on, but this is the way I live my life. It has served fairly well so far. So we start driving around. We drive though Mason, starting on 42, then continue north on what we believe to be 42. But again, we are not sure, since there are no signs. Because of course everybody from here already knows what road this is. So signage is not important. So we drive for a ways on what we think is route 42, only to find out that we were on route 63 the whole time. Actually we only know this because we end up at the I-75, and look back over our shoulders on the way south, that’s what the sign on the interstate said. But you would never know when you come to or are on that road, since we never, ever saw a sign to this effect.
Now, looking at a map tonight from the comfort of my own home, I have to say that it is doubtful that we would have ever actually got to Young’s Dairy. It’s much farther away than I remember from the last time I was there, about five years ago. But I would like to have some idea of where the hell I am when I go on my wild adventures around here. I find it amusing that the local officials are perplexed that they can’t attract more visitors. For all I know there are people out there driving in circles trying to find the little things that can make this area quite pleasant. But there are no signs so they can’t find the place they seek. There was a large, easy to read sign in front of the Lebanon Correctional Facility. Perhaps they could put some of the residents there to work making some signs so that people who weren’t born and raised in the are could find their way around. But that would be too simple.
We did eventually get back down near our home, find a Graeter’s, got the Olethlings[sup]TM[/sup] some ice cream, let them run around a bit in a local mall, had some more food, and got home. We had a good time. Hide and seek in the juniors section in Lazarus was a highlight. But please, Ohio, or whoever is in charge of the furshinlugger signs, try to make an effort. Or just leave all of the signs off and acknowledge your evil plans.
[sub]Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind
do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the signs[/sub]
