My sputum stinks! My phelgm reeks! My mucus is mouldy! (TMI, if you hadn't noticed)

I’ve been struggling with a head cold for a couple of weeks. A few days ago, a distessing development: a really bad taste in my mouth, and equally bad smell in my nose. Trial and error determined that: My sputum stinks! and my phlegm, etc. as per the thread title.

I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Mrs. Piper has expressed some reluctance to be anywhere close to my nose. And the Piper Dachshund, who’s never met a dead bird he didn’t immediately roll in, has taken to sniffing ecstatically at my breath, hoping to find the source.
I know, no medical advice. I’m not seeking that - will go so a doctor if symptoms persist, yadda, yadda. I just wanted to share…

Thank you, thank you soooo much.

Ah, you’ve come down with the dreaded Roughrider-itis. Tends to affect Green Riders’ fans at this time of year. Don’t worry; there’s a simple cure: you just have to cheer for the Stampeders. :smiley:

Seriously, I hope this odd development is nothing and that you’re feeling better soon!

It’s official: You’re old :smiley:

Hehe, I feel the need to make things really disgusting.
A couple years ago I had the head-cold to end all head colds. I just laid in bed all day feeling miserable, totally non-functional using up the medicine on hand and doing nothing. Eventually I ran out of all Kinds of medicine and knew I would go insane if I didn’t at least get something. I drug myself out of bed stumbled to the car and drove then crawled toward the local WalGreens down the street. My nose and ears had been clogged totally for 4 days and I had gotten to the point of resignment that I just would not be able to breath through my nose, or open my ears. Breathing of anykind was not easy with a swollen throat, and I was taking huge mouth breaths.

I got into the foyer(or what even you call the little closed area between the sliding doors) and took one of my deep wheezing mouth breaths. I did know it at the time, but the whole area had been way overdone in Ammonia, but with a non-functioning nose I did’nt know.
The Ammonia wafted though my moth and hit the irritated back of my throat. My body reacted in a way that I didn’t know was possible. My tounge block the whole of my mouth in protection, but it was too late, my sneeze reflex was triggered with infinite and unstopable force.

This sneeze was worthy of being entered into the Nordic epics. A Nagasakic blast issued from from lungs, scraping everybit of phlem from my lungs and windpipe, and forced it along thorough my nose, along with the current solidly-packed contents of my nose. The doors were still closed but I saw three people in the store jump out of their feet. That’s about all I remember for a while because eyes shut down for a minute as my brain tried to convey the feeling that I had just pushed golf-balls though my inner ear. At least that’s what it felt like. The pain of the sneeze pressure wave exploding through my ears, and I thought I had litterally blown a hole through my ear drum and anything else that had been there. I was then informed I had no sence of balance what-so-ever as I stumbled through the door and caught a shelf.

It took about 5 minutes of hiding in the back to the store before I didn’t feel to dizzy to walk, the entire time I was sure I was deaf. I finally grabbed a bunch of medicine and payed for it, and struggled back toward the car.
I approached the foyer again from the other direction and the doors opened, and I realized two things.
1.After days of not being able to smell, my newly scoured nasal passage was open for buisness.
2.(this is the part that has to do with your story) Great fucking God it stunck in there. All the sick, rotting stuff that had been contained within my mucus regions was now nebulized into a fine green miasma of putrescence localized in the foyer. If I had been able to eat anything in the preceding days I would have thrown up. The door open from the other side and I saw a young women take one step in, quash an sudden gag, and jump out backward and keep going.
Ran through and finally made it home. God I feel bad for who ever had to deal with that.

Sinuses that have swelled shut make great incubators for bacteria. Find a doc to prescribe something to open them up, and an antibiotic to kill the green crap that’s growing up there.

In the meantime, saline nasal spray will work wonders to wash the toxic boogers away.

I must warn you, simply dumping a bunch of salt in a glass of water and snorting it will render you incapable of holding a polite conversation for some time.

>I must warn you, simply dumping a bunch of salt in a glass of water and snorting it will render you incapable of holding a polite conversation for some time.

Not necessarily. I’m blessed with chronic bronchitis complicated by, shall we say, overproductive nostrils. I use a saltwater nasal wash sold under the “Sinus Rinse” trade name by NielMed. It’s not in the least bothersome and as soon as I’ve blown it all out I’m perfectly presentable. Well, as presentable as I get…

You may, though, have to turn your head various ways to get it all to run out of your sinuses. My lower left sinus fills with wash and if I don’t empty it, I can suddenly pour about a spoonfull all over something by accident just by leaning over it. So far, this hasn’t caused any calamity, but you can imagine, eh?
OK, OK, what’s red and green and goes backwards?


Spoons, you just dropped dramatically in Mrs. Piper’s estimation of you!