WTF I have been friends with say X. He has been my friend for about 5 years now. Going into the 6th year now…he pisses me off. First, he acts like a know-it-all. He is smart but if I ask him what something means to help me understand better he’ll be like ‘OMG you dont know that?!’. No i dont you stupid fuck why dont you explain. Did I mention how racial he is. Most of the time he talks about blacks and other stupid people dieing cause they are a disease to society and shit like that. This guy is about to start another Ku Klux Klan. Other then that, he talks about hockey!! I dont fucken play or watch hockey so fuck off. Anything else i say he just says “Ok” in an ignorant kinda way. We have nothing to relate to but why do I sit with him in lunch? At lunch time in school, I have tons of better friends I can relax and talk with but I sit with this bastard. What do I do? ANy advice? Maybe I am the stupid fuck? Enlighten me please.
My advice: Don’t be friends with him anymore.
Certain people are just toxic.
It seems you have self diagnosed your problem, now take action. Break off the friendship with this guy if it’s that much of a problem to your sanity. There are plenty of other intelligent people who won’t give you so much crap. Good luck.
Yeah thats what I am having such a hard time doing. I am kinda loyal and this guy would kind of be lonely. He serioulsy has very little friends like 3 or 4 and none in our lunch periods. I had some of my friends come sit with me but they cant take this guy anymore then I can. I dont want to leave this guy cause I have been friends with him for like a long time and he would just sit alone at the table and I would feel guilt.
Anyone who says whole groups of people are a “disease to society” isn’t going to show much respect to individuals, such as yourself, either. Put some distance between the two of you ASAP and if he asks why, tell him what you told us. If he doesn’t respect your reasons, and it sounds like he won’t, tough. No loss to you.
FYI, it’s f-u-c-k-i-n-g, not “fucken.”
This guy sounds like a loser. If you really get nothing out the friendship, then scrape him off. If you really feel guilty, then give him one chance. Explain that his racist bullshit makes you uncomfortable as does his arrogance when you ask him questions. Tell him that if he’s going to talk that way and treat you that way, then you’ve got better things to do at lunch. Then follow through. If you’re sitting with him and he starts up with the KKK talk, just pick up your tray and walk away. Let him think about it a little. Maybe he’ll reevaluate some things, maybe he won’t, but it’ll be his choice.
tell him what you don’t like, and why. Let him make the choice between maintaining a friendship or acting like an ass. If he has anything redeemable underneath, he’ll learn and grow and adapt to the friendship. If he’s just an asshole to the core, then you’ll really have no reason to feel sorry for him when he’s eating alone at the lunch table.
I thought if would be funny to say fucken cause his name is ken so fuck ken uhm…nevermind but thanks for the advice. I tell him to stop the racist talk because I dont appreciate that. I gotta try that “just pick up your tray and walk away” because that sounds like a good idea and he’ll rethink before he talks. Seriously, I wish I would have posted this earlier cause there are only like 2 months left of school but at least i’ll know how to deal better with assholes in my senior year of high school.
Oh, thanks for clearing that up. I thought “fucken” was like, an archaic Middle English formation.
“Eglantyne! What hast thou donne to thisse ploughe? It is fucken!”
As for your “friend,” I would say tell him the error of his ways, and if he refuses to correct them, then drop him and don’t feel guilty. If he’s that much of an asshole, he’ll have to learn to be alone.
Deciding to break a friendship is truly one of the hardest things to do. I suppose it’s not that hard when you have a “falling out” or something to blame the end of the friendship on, but when you just decide that the person is causing you more grief than happiness…it’s hard.
I had a friend in college that I realized was a toxic person. No need to go into details, but over the course of several months, I came to the realization that she was not a good person and not a good friend. Yet she kept seeking me out. I felt sorry for her because she didn’t have other friends. I didn’t “break up” with her directly, but avoided her until she got the hint. I maybe could have handled it better, but I don’t regret ending the friendship.
Ultimately, a friendship is a two-way street, and if you’re gaining nothing but grief, then you should feel no guilt about breaking it off.
Fortunately, the season is on your side. Can you and your friends go outdoors to eat, so that you are not so obviously avoiding him?
Even if you can’t do that, you can simply say, “your racist talk makes me uncomfortable” and leave. Don’t feel sorry for him. It sounds like he’s brought his friendless situation on himself.
If all else fails, the school year is almost over, and you can establish a new pattern next year.
Good luck, Kriss.