Oh you dirty, dirty motherfuckers.
First off, I’m a pretty big Dave Matthews Band fan. My best girl buddy and I have both traveled to many states to see their shows. We’re both members of DMB’s fanclub, Warehouse. It’s not nearly as dorky as it seems. (OK, maybe it is but we really, really like DMB) Besides getting a poster and a cd, for $30 a year you get to buy special “Warehouse” tickets. The longer you’ve been a member, the better seats you get. This has worked out great for the past 4 years and I have constantly and happily been writing out my check and pumping money into the great Dave Matthews Band machine. Warehouse used to get 50% of all seats at any given venue to sell to the fan club. If they didn’t sell all the seats, they were given back to the venue to sell.
Enter Ticketbastard.
You see those motherfuckers in some sort of incestous pig sex relationship with Clear Channel (the radio conglomorate who makes sure that radio stations don’t play what you like but rather that you like what radio stations play). Clear Channel with their war chest from turning tricks with record companies and radio stations gobbled up all the venues that DMB and most other acts play at. Some motherfucker realized, “Hey, we don’t get to charge our “service fee” on those fanclub tickets.” Now Ticketbastard has decreed that fan clubs, all, not just Warehouse, will not get 50% of tickets anymore. They will get 8%.
EIGHT FUCKING PERCENT?!?!?!?!?!?
So basically, Ticketbastard bent Dave Matthews over some big corporate desk and made him their bitch. And after they were done having their way with him, they took a big, messy shit all over the fans that have made DMB so popular. They know we will keep coming to see him in droves with or without Warehouse. I just wish I liked him less so I could resist the lure of the concerts.
If I have to pay a fucking service charge on every ticket I better get some fucking service from Ticketbastard. Like after they swipe my credit card and print my tickets, I better get taken to some back room and have some hot guy with a tongue like a rattlesnake eat me out for a good hour while a DMB cd plays in the background. That’s a service I wouldn’t mind paying for. But no, instead I’ll just get tickets in a crappy section. And my service fee will go to fill the coffers of a monoply.
I guess DMB could try and give Ticketbastard the same “fuck you” that Pearl Jam did but that went down in flames. Fuckers. Fuckers. Fuckers.
