My Turn as Customer Jerk du Jour (mild)

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m not proud to write this. I’m not proud to have done this. I don’t know why I thought it was so necessary to do what was tantamount to a professional insult and ruin some other people’s day. Three people might road-rage on their way home from work tonight because of me. A father or a husband might be a jerk to their family tonight…and all because I had to prove a point.

I drove into Jiffy-Lube at 3pm and the shop was pretty much empty. I told them I wanted the full service and that I wanted new windshield wiper blades. I made sure to say I wanted new windshield wiper blades twice. And while they were being nice to me, doing nothing but trying to steer me to the near by waiting room, I did it. As they watched, I took out a penknife and I notched both of the wiper blades on my car.

The effect was immediate; all of them stopped talking. All three men were in shock and embarrassed; I really don’t think any of them knew what to say. All of them immediately knew, by my actions, what I was saying to them publicly:

“I don’t trust you to actually change the wiper blades that you are charging me for on my bill”.

It couldn’t have been worse if I’d called them thieves to their faces. Worse, when the bill was settled and when one of the guys ‘courtesy walked’ me to my car, I asked him to stand right there and watch while I squirted windshield-washer fluid & ran the wipers before pulling off their lot. There were no streaks. I then thanked him and drove away.

Why would I do this to these people? In my mind, here is my twisted rationalization (and yes, I know it doesn’t make it ‘right’):

A little over a year ago I had an oil-change in this same Jiffy-Lube, in this same car, and I had I asked for the exact same service. My wipers were streaking badly and I just needed it handled. I waited in the waiting room, drank their bad coffee, put their rather pricey bill on my VISA, and I headed out. Two days later, when I was a couple of hundred miles away, I used the wipers. And I got the exact same streaks. I was angry and felt I had been ripped-off. I called the place from my office the next time I was there and the manager had said that if I brought the car back, he’d look into it. I guess it wasn’t his fault that I was extremely busy at work & at home that time of year and that before I knew it more than two weeks had passed. At that point, I knew that the window of opportunity had closed, which was completely my fault. Still, I’ve been angry about those wipers every time I cleaned that windshield ever since. I don’t drive that car very often, so it wasn’t until recently that I had passed the next 3,000 mile mark (I had made sure not to drive it on any rainy days). Still, today I acted like a total asshole.

Turnover at these highway places is pretty high. Even if I was ripped-off before (and I guess it could have been defective new wiper blades from the factory, right? They could have caused streaks almost the exact same way, right?), its not like any of the guys who were even in the building back then were working at this Jiffy-Lube today, let alone on my car. I could have even gone to another Jiffy-Lube or even to a competitor. But no, I had to be the asshole who makes a point. I ruined three good mechanics day today; mechanics who never did anything to me & who don’t know me from Adam. I was jerk du jour, and now I’m ashamed of myself.

2

Why didn’t you just tell them why? Alternatively, you could’ve nicked the blades before you got there.

3

Eh, I don’t see that you did anything that egregious. You could have notched the blades before you showed up, but based on your past experience, you know they either deliberately or accidentally forgot to change the wiper blades and were making sure it didn’t happen again.

You know you can buy wiper blades cheaper at an auto parts store and pop them on yourself?

4

Well, if it makes you feel any better, Count Blucher, you probably didn’t ruin anyone’s day. Once you were gone, they probably looked at each other and said, “What the fuck was that about?” And if that weren’t the end of it, it’s because they swapped stories about other strange and cranky customers.

Either that, or they went onto their favorite message board and Pitted you with extreme language.

In nomine Cecil, et Teeming Millions, et phouka, go forth and sin no more.

5

Of course there’s the Snopes article about Jiffy Lube scamming customers in Los Angeles.

6

Jesus Christ man, could you be any more passive aggressive?

You chose a place you know gave you shoddy service in the past even when a wide variety of other options were available. Then you purposely act in a manner that tells them you don’t trust them to do the work you volunterily chose them to do. Then, when nothing’s wrong and no one at the shop seems the least bit upset by your actions, you come on here, give yourself a lame pitting, even going so far as to put “mild” in the subject line because god forbid we really get upset at you for this non-action. You even go so far as to claim that this non incident was horrible and could give people road rage or cause family strife for the mechanics? Are we now supposed to think “well he started out trying to pit himself, but damn I can only muster sympathy for how truly sorry he feels over his actions”?

7

Seriously, you can’t change your own windshield wipers? I don’t think I’ve ever done this before but:

Nelson Muntz: HA HA!

Now watch, the OP will come back and say of course he can’t because he’s got no arms and types and drives using a joystick with his feet.

8

Why do you go to Jiffy Lube if you think they’re scam artists (and they certainly are)?

In my state, we’re required to get a yearly inspection. One of the items on the inspection list is that the light that illuminates your license plate must be working. I took my car to Jiffy Lube for my inspection last year. The mechanic (or whatever they are) comes in to the waiting room and tells me my light is burnt out and it’ll be $75 to replace it. I told him to forget it, stop the inspection, that was ridiculous. He pitched the light he took out of my car into the trash. I should have stopped him, but I didn’t really think about it. I drove over to the Pep Boys across the street, bought a light (two, actually) for $3, then headed to a reputable local inspection site and they put it in for me for free.

Jiffy Lube sucks. I don’t give them my money any more and neither should you.

9

Yes, that’s fucked up. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Not all Jiffy Lubes are evil. I’ve been to oil change places where they reamed me for $100 of extra shit I didn’t need. How did I react? I went somewhere else. End of story.

In the future, notch the blades BEFORE you visit them. If they don’t change them, you will have visible proof that you can show to the manager and have your money refunded, or file a civil claim, if you get off on that sort of thing.

And if they were really crooks…how do you know they won’t rip off somebody else, just because they’re pissed about you being a jerk to them?

10

Please. People who are ripping other people off don’t get pissed because they get called on it. They just say, “oops, we got caught” and move on to the next person. If they were dishonest, they probably thought his actions were funny. They’d only get angry if they hadn’t done anything, but I would think that even if they’re honest mechanics, they’d understand where the distrust is coming from.

11

Why in the hell would someone take their car to Jiffy Lube in the first place?

Sorry, but I don’t let 18 year olds work on my car. Yes, that is a sweeping generalization, but I think it’s a plausible one.

12

I agree. I went there, and they talked me into a new air filter. I checked my owners manual, and it was another 20K miles until I “should” have it replaced.

Now I get mine done at the local garage, or sometimes at Saturn when they send me a “fee oil change” coupon.

13

I get all my oil changes (that are not part of a major dealer service) done at a local Jiffy Lube, and put up with the small annoyances of dealing with them because they do the work fast and (for the basic service, at least) at a reasonable price.

So far, the shop that I regularly deal with has never attempted to claim anything falsely wrong with my car, but they DO try, nearly every single time I go there, to upsell me on some sort of extra-cost item that, according to their computer system, is “due for service”. Whenever this happens, I simply tell them to fuck off. Well, actually, what they hear from my mouth are the words “No, thanks”. I enjoy this little game most when they claim I need a new air filter, then invariably find they don’t have one of that type on hand (Subaru Imprezas are not all that common in Texas, I guess).

I don’t have any problem with 18-year-olds, under supervision, unscrewing an oil filter and measuring out five quarts of lubricant from a tank. If it were anything more involved than that, I’d worry, but I never let them do that.

As for having them change out windshield wipers, what’s up with that? Even I can figure out how to change a frickin’ wiper blade.

14

I went to Jiffy lube about a year ago because it’s much closer to my house than Oil Can Henry’s. They convinced me that I needed a new air filter. Ok, fine. I bought a new oil filter from them. They weren’t jerks, it wasn’t overly expensive, so I was just fine with it.

I went back three months later for another oil change. The guy comes into the waiting room when they were done, got me, and explained that their records show that I bought a new air filter last time, but, um, there isn’t an air filter in there. I asked how this was possible. The guy shrugged and said it probably had been stolen. Stolen. Out of my car engine. With no obvious sign on being broken into. And nothing else stolen, just the air filter. Uhhhhh right. Ok. Yeah, I remember reading about an air-filter stealing ring of bandits in my neighborhood.

I’m a wallflower. I paid for a new filter. I told my husband when I got home, who returned to Jiffy Lube and demanded a refund, which he got - for the entire service, plus an extra air filter, plus them to pay for my mechanic to check out my car for damage of driving it 3k miles with no air filter. He got his way, plus, they ended up paying for a new o2 sensor.

I’ll never go back.

15

If you hurt their feelings— and I find it unlikely— fuck ‘em. Exposés on Jiffy Lube and Just Brakes, combined with my (and my friends’) anecdotal experiences with Firestone, Precision Tune, Tune-up Clinic, and other chain auto repair places, lead me to believe that there’s a shitload of crooks out there committing widespread fraud whenever they feel they can get away with it.

I’ve personally had parts “replaced” and found the old equipment still present, and one had a “tune-up specialist” crack one of my spark plug wires when reattaching it to the plug, causing it to buck and jolt while I was leaving, and causing me to immediately turn the car around and return to bitch them out (the mechanic, looking sheepish, installed a new set of plug wires.)

I’m sure there are honest mechanics out there but I have no idea how to find one. But seriously, replacing wiper blades? That’s something you can do yourself… it takes five minutes and you can snap them in before you even leave the parking lot of the auto parts store.

16

You’d think, wouldn’t you? Yet when I went to change my own blades on my Ford Focus I discovered it was well-nigh impossible to get the blade itself out and a new one in: the things were practically designed to require an entire unit replacement, at £70 plus tax. And the blade itself was backed with hard plastic, rather than just rubber, so it had to be bought direct from Ford.

The bastards.

I struggled with one blade and several pairs of pliers, knives and cut fingers for about three hours before I gave up. Whereas my local Jiffy Lube equivalent had the right tools to prise the tabs open and slide a new blade in without damaging the housing.

17

I’d rather get ripped off on windshield wipers (and consequently never return) than act like that in front of people.

18

How odd. When I get my oil changed at the Valvoline quick change place*, I just sit in the car while they’re doing the oil change. I see what they do – they show me which oil they put in, they show me the filter, they try to sell me the fancy useless engine cleaner additives. If I had them change the wiper blades, I’d see that, too.

It takes hardly any time at all, and then I drive off. Going to a place named Jiffy Lube where it’s taking long enough for you to go hang out in a waiting room? Doesn’t seem too “jiffy.” Maybe you need to find a quicker quick lube place.

  • because I make motor oil for a living, and I’m damn well not going to fiddle with it in my off time, too. plus, Valvoline uses our oil.
19

If it were my shop and I was running it above board, I would have changed your oil then told you that we were out of stock on your wiper blades and ask you to come back next week.

20

I’m a girl who knows next to nothing about cars and I change my own wiper blades. I even go to the store and buy them myself, with a little help from the counter guy. There’s a place up here that’s very nice and helpful to girls like me. I suggest you learn how to change them, it never hurts!