My Two Favorite Funny Quotes Of The Week

A woman at work told me when she first moved out west, she was at a teachers’ meeting and they mentioned holidays that were upcoming. New to the area, she asked, “When exactly is Cinco de Mayo?”

The other quote comes from the TV show, “Raising Hope”…the mother was complaining that her cousin always bragged about her glamorous life and mentioned “she once worked in the tallest building in Scottsdale”.

One of my favorite exchanges is between an idiot and a Jewish friend.

Idiot: Do you people celebrate Thanksgiving?
Friend: Well… I *am *American.

Not such a silly question if you don’t speak Spanish.

As an Englishman in the U.S.A. I have actually been asked the following questions by Americans:

From a hotel porter, when I was arriving in Washington D.C.:
[INDENT]“Where have you come in from?”
Me: “England.”
“Did you drive?”[/INDENT]

From a well educated and historically knowledgeable (and very successful) attorney:
[INDENT]“Do you celebrate the 4th of July in England too?”[/INDENT]

Incidentally, I can also confirm that (at one time, at least) the application for for a visa to come to U.S. really did require you to check off “yes” or “no” against the question “Do you intend to overthrow the Government of the United States by force?” (Another question asked whether or not you were insane.)

a month or two after Vendredi Saint.

Heck, a lot of our citizens want to overthrow the government by force. I’m wondering if you don’t prefer you check “yes”. :slight_smile:

For the punchline to work, the question needs to be
“Do you have the 4th of July in England too?”

I had to answer this question and pay 30 cents to get medical clearance for a Thai Driver’s License. After paying the 30 cents I asked which doctor to see; they told me I was done. :smack:

They should have given you the option of paying either thirty cents or three hundred dollars. That would have answered the question legitimately. :smiley:

Well, sort of. The first question is an obvious “no”. (Why would you “celebrate” the 4th of July? That’s like over here “celebrating” August 19 (date at random)). The second one is an obvious “yes”. So both are idiotic questions.

It’s like that one about the guy who wants to report an emergency and says to his friend “Quick - what’s the number for 911?”

“What, you mean Good Riddance Day? Of course!”

Woosh!! When I’ve tried the “idiotic” question with its “obvious” yes answer on Brits, the score is 4 for 4 answering variations of “No, silly, 4th of July is American.”