I actually know of someone who died in a horribly gruesome way. He was a drinking buddy of my a roommate I had for a while after college. I won’t say what it was, but it was out of an episode of CSI-- he wasn’t torture-murdered, but he might as well have been. PM me if you want the details. Suffice to say, anyone who dies in a bed with a morphine drip and family around did not die in the worst way possible.
I doubt that’s much comfort to the OP, but really, people shouldn’t say things like, uh, well, what the mod already addressed. Anyway, there are some advantages to being able to plan, and to say goodbye. My father planned his own funeral, and seemed to get into it, in kind of a weird way. My brother even called him something similar to “corpse-zilla” once. (“He’s going to make us do what?” “It’s his funeral.” “He won’t even be there.” “It’s still his funeral, and he will be happy to remind you of that.”)
Anyway, don’t let anyone, particularly someone who doesn’t appear to have direct experience, tell you what to expect. Because it’s a rare disease, it’s hard to generalize.
I didn’t find Senegoid’s post jerkish or upsetting.
I don’t know how they made the diagnosis. I know that Mom said that they thought he had a mild stroke a couple of months ago, but that he seemed to be recovering well. Then he started failing rapidly and they did lots of brain scans (I don’t know which ones) and found little evidence of stroke. I don’t know if that means that the initial diagnosis of stroke was wrong, or just that the stroke was not a severe one and they did not consider it the cause of the new symptoms, or that the new symptoms were not caused by a second stroke. But I don’t know if they did a spinal tap.
I found Senegoid post a good advice for me. I don’t want to go through dementia, be it short or long, painful or not. And I really wish euthanasia were legal. The idea of dementia terrifies me, and it’s not like it’s rare to end up this way. Count me in for the mercy killing.
Specifically, it’s palliative care that’s given after the doctor says that the patient will probably die within half a year. Not that it can’t be extended, and extended again, as necessary. There are some benefits that apply once the paperwork to declare that the patient has entered hospice care has been completed that don’t apply if the paperwork isn’t done. Some of the benefits are government supplied and some are from insurance policies or local hospice organizations.
Some doctors hesitate to offer to certify a patient as qualifying for hospice care unless the patient or family asks. So if you’re involved in someone’s care, be sure to ask. I wouldn’t bother with the paperwork unless the available benefits are usefull, though. For my aunt it was the only way to get any reimbursement for in-house care unless she was on a physical therapy program, which she refused to so. And she really wanted to go home.
Sorry to hear about your uncle, jsgoddess. All my best thought to you and your family.
jsgoddess I’m so sorry for your loss. Sounds as if he went quickly and peacefully. There’s a blessing in that I’m sure. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
